


Everything Changes

by Star4545



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Related, Everyone Is Alive, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-10-10 11:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 45,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17424809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star4545/pseuds/Star4545
Summary: What if Davy was never obsessed with the prophecies? What if the vampires never entered Watford; neither killing Natasha Grimm-Pitch or turning Baz into a vampire? What if Simon grew up with both his mother and father alive? How does that change the story of Simon Snow and his relationships with everyone around him?





	1. Pre-Watford

**Lucy**

He barely reached my knee last month. He's up to my mid-thigh now. I can hear his laugh even though he’s outside. He loves playing with that dog so much. I watch him from the window while I sit at the dining table, making sure he doesn't run off or hurt himself. He trips a little picking up the tennis ball, I stand up. Davy always tells me I'm too protective of him. Maybe it's because I almost died bringing him into this world.

I see Davy's car pull up into the driveway. I see him run up to his five-year-old son, picking him up with all the strength he can muster, and kiss his head. Flakes (Simon named him that because his middle name is Snow; whenever they are together, we call them Snowflakes), our family Corgi, jumps on the legs on my husband, wanting attention more than anything. Simon's laugh travels back to me, it is the most beautiful sound in the world. Davy sets his son down and comes into the cottage. He kisses my head.

"How was work?" He shrugs.

"I'm getting absolutely nowhere. Natasha Grimm-Pitch keeps rejecting all my ideas for reforms even though my Coven status should show her I know what I'm talking about. And I'm very close with her husband, but no, making Watford more inclusive is definitely a bad idea." I pat his back as he sits down next to me, letting out a sigh of frustration. "How was your day?" He asks me.

"Good. Simon and I worked on math, a little English, and I taught him a spell."

"You aren't supposed to…"

"I know, I just taught him **Clean as a Whistle.** No biggie."

"If the Mage knew…" Ever since his position in the Coven has gotten more significant, he is much more of a stickler.

"The Mage isn't going to know." It starts to rain, I hear it pitter-pattering on the roof. It didn't seem to disturb Simon though, still throwing the ball to the dog.  "He is basically bursting with energy and magic, he needs to be taught to control it early."

"That's why there is Watford."

"That's assuming he gets in."

"He will. You are a power mage and so am I, plus my Coven position."

"I should get him inside. You're on bath duty tonight." Davy grunts. Simon doesn't hate the bath per say, he just hates when one of us leaves him in there, and he always is messy, no matter what. I go to the door. "Snowflakes, come in now." Simon has started his routine of dancing in the rain. He loves it for some reason, always did it when he is outside when it started to rain.

"No." He whines. I give him _the look_. He grabs the tennis ball and starts to come inside, Flakes following happily behind.

"Davy, get me two towels please." He gets up, grabbing two towels, knowing the routine well. Davy returns with a big and small towel.

"Simon, show dad what you learned today."

Simon gets his wand out of his pocket, pointing to Flakes, and casts " **Clean as a whistle."** It surprisingly works, and all the mud disappears from the dog.

"Woah, good job." Davy hands one towel to me, so I can dry the dog, while he dries Simon.

"Ready for bath time, Buddy?" Simon nods. He is an easy boy; most of the times he does what he is told, pays attention while I teach him, and never yells. Simon runs off to the bathroom. Before Davy leaves, I grab his hand, he looks at me.

"I love you." I say.

"I love you too, sweetheart." He says back, kissing my cheek, and I know he does.

Simon comes back from his bath with a wet mess of hair atop of his head and pajamas on. Davy follows him, his shirt wet and his hair the same. I am almost done dinner.

"Can I help, Mummy?"

"Of course. Go set the table for me." He does what he is told.

After dinner, I put Simon to bed by reading him his favorite story; it was a novel that Davy wrote about the Chosen One, when he was still obsessed with it all. Thankfully that all left him when we left Watford. Simon falls asleep quickly with Flakes in his usual position on the foot of the bed. I sneak out of the room to find Davy already getting ready to go to sleep.

"Tired?" I ask.

"Very."

"Need anything?"

"Nope." He says, lying down on the bed. I look at my husband, he looks as handsome as he did in his Watford days. What a ride we've been on.

After Watford, we moved to this cottage in Wales. He wanted to create the Chosen One, _the Greatest Mage,_ he used to call it. During our eighth year at Watford, he was obsessed with that idea, and I loved him, and he loved me, so I agreed to help. Everyone told me not to help him, that I was going to get hurt, I didn't believe them. I like to believe he really does love me even though for the first couple months he was cold toward me because I got pregnant before we could perform the ritual to make the boy that would make all the prophecies come true. I tried to convince him to be happy. We were still having a baby, bringing life into the world, but it wasn’t what he wanted. My first two months of pregnancy, I was basically alone. But then he figured out that he could still cast spells to ensure a powerful baby. He would cast charms on me and started to care for me more. We eloped, and we fell even more in love. He would kiss my stomach and tell me how excited he was. When we figured out we were having a son, his whole face lit up.

I knew the boy growing inside me was going to be a powerful mage, I could feel his power coursing through my veins. I loved sitting outside when the sun was shining and just feel the power. Davy once said when Simon first started kicking, it felt like a powerful spell was being cast. Right before I was due to have Simon, Davy got his position in the Coven. He would be out all day, leaving me to my own devices, but then Simon came early, and he rushed home. He held my hand all the way through.

The first time I saw Simon, he was glowing with magic even though he was covered in blood. I was drained; both magically and energy wise. The nurses took Simon away (we had found a Magick hospital) and I felt sick. Davy said I died for a couple minutes even with his insistent healing spells. I woke up though and we are raising our little magician together. I don't think either of us could be more in love.

Figuring out Simon’s name was easy. Simon felt like a good name for a powerful mage, for _the Greatest Mage_. It just worked. He seemed like a Simon. Snow was just fun and alliterative. Simon Snow Salisbury. I felt kind of bad, but Davy loved it, said it was a proper good name. He said, “At least it’s better than Fiona’s sister’s son’s name. She told me at a Coven meeting they named him Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch. How rubbish is that? Poor kid is going to be bullied his whole life.” I remember laughing because at least it took my mind off almost dying.

I’m glad Davy gave up on making the Chosen One and settled for Simon who is still more powerful than either than us. Davy always tells me that Simon is a ticking magic bomb, but he is still my son more than anything. I think Davy is excited for Simon to get older, so he can implant all the reforms he wants Watford to go through into his head. I think the Grimm-Pitch boy is Simon’s age, maybe he hopes they’ll become friends, and Simon will pass on the message.

I go over to Davy, kissing his lips lightly. “Crowley, I love you.” He says. I wonder why he is especially sappy today. I don’t ask about it, maybe he is just happy. “You are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“What about Simon?”

“He’s next in line. I love him a lot too.”

“And Flakes?”

“Do you even need to ask?” I kiss him again for good measure. He kisses back this time.

-

“I’m not going.” Simon says, crossing his arms and stomping his foot. Eleven-year-old Simon is up to my rib cage. He is going to be a tall one.

“Simon, you just got into Watford, you are going!” Davy says, sternly. “It is an honor to get accepted. You will be among the world’s greatest mages. You are going.”

“You can’t make me.”

“I sure as hell can.”

“DAVY!” I say, hitting his arm. “Simon, honey, you have to go.” Simon is giving me the puppy dog eyes and his signature pout. It normally works on me, but this is one matter I won’t cave on.

“I’m not leaving Flakes.”

“Well, Flakes can’t go with you.” Davy says.

“Why not?”

“Watford… doesn’t allow pets.” I make up. Simon huffs.

“I’m not leaving you two.” He says, he is just making up excuses now.

“We will be okay.” I say. “We will send letters and emails. We will see you for Christmas holiday and all summer long. You’ll make tons of friends, you’ll barely miss us.”

“What if I don’t want friends?”

“You need friends, Simon.” Davy says.

“Says who?”

“Says me.” Davy crouches to match Simon’s height and takes his head in his hands. I often do this with Simon when I’m saying something very important to him. He tries to look away. “Listen Simon, I know it will be hard for the first month or two and your mum and I will miss you terribly, but Watford is a special place in both of our hearts. Watford is the most magical place you will ever be at. You learn so much and have so much fun. It’s incredible that you were accepted because the selection process is very hard. Please, Simon, it will change your life from the minute you step through those gates till the minute you leave. You have an extraordinary amount of power, Simon. You need to learn how to control it. That warmth and the buzzing around you is magic and at Watford, you’ll learn how to turn it into something amazing.” Simon has tears in his eyes, he is an easy crier. He hugs Davy. I join into too, which makes Flakes come over.

“I’ll go. I’ll go.”

“You won’t regret it, Simon.” I say.

“If you say so.” Simon leaves the hug. “I’m going to play fetch with Flakes. C’mon Flakes.” Simon goes outside and starts playing with the dog.

“Do you think we are doing a good job with him?” I ask.

“Why would you even question that?” Davy asks. “He’s a good kid with good intentions and he loves Flakes more anything.”

“I dunno. Have we done everything correctly? I mean, he hasn’t met any kids his age. He’s eleven and we are the only people he knows.” Unbeknownst to Davy, I’ve been teaching Simon easy spells during our school lessons. He doesn’t want me teaching him, yet he admits Simon is growing stronger each year.

“He’s too powerful to be around other kids.” I look outside, it has started to drizzle. Simon’s head is thrown back, letting the rain hit his skin. “Lucy, we have done everything for him. He is happy, and he will be even happier at Watford. Wait till he tries those scones, he’ll die.”

“I’m scared he will… go off.”

“He will be fine. He doesn’t get angry very often.”

“What if he doesn’t make friends?”

“He will.”

“I should go get him.” Davy stops me from getting up.

“Let him come in when he wants. Leave a towel by the door.”

“Where are we going?”

“I’m going to make sure you relax.” I raise an eyebrow.

**Natasha**

Holding him in my arms for the first time, I feel bad. I feel bad because I know I am giving my son a ridiculous name, but we are an old family, that means we have old, crazy names. Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch, such a ridiculous name for such an innocent little boy with a tuff of hair on his head and blue eyes (all babies have blue eyes, his eyes faded to a gray color). But I feel like how he will grow up will counteract it all; he will live in a huge mansion with servants waiting on him, he will grow up with magic at his fingertips, he will travel to Watford, and he will be the Mage’s Heir meaning he will get the Sword of Mages when he is old enough.

He lives with me at Watford for the early years of his life mainly because Malcom is so invested with the Coven, they are having him train a new member, that I fear he won’t raise Tyrannus with enough attention. Also, because I don’t want to stop working, but I want to be close with my son. It isn’t hard to raise him at Watford. He is a quiet kid with his head in books way too advanced, saying words that are complicated for a young one, and learning about magic. From the time he starts talking, he is always asking about magic. I answer all of his questions. At age four, Tyrannus starts to get antsy. He wants to start casting spells. If anyone in the Coven found out I am going against my own laws to teach my son magic before his entrance to Watford, they would call me a hypocrite, but I couldn’t help it. Tyrannus asked to be taught and so I teach.

When the school year of 2002 starts, Tyrannus is five, I tell him that he isn’t coming to Watford with me. He makes a big fuss especially when I explain that I want him to stay at home and get taught by his tutor what kids his age should be learning even though I know he was already much ahead. He picks up French and Spanish, English, Maths, Sciences, anything he could get his hands on. His tutor is impressed with his fervor to learn, he probably got it from me. Along with his school studies and leisurely reading, he starts to learn violin. I don’t complain, most Pitches know at least piano if not another instrument, I can play clarinet. He loves the violin no matter how frustrated his father tells me he is when first learning it.

He is such a cute little kid with chubby cheeks and dark hair that I made the mistake of cutting into a bowl shape. I always love how he looks in dungarees, so I often dress him in such. He loves talking about things he is learning. I miss him like crazy over the school year, Malcom would sometimes bring him for a day, but it isn’t that same. But Tyrannus is always overjoyed to see me and to be back at Watford. When he was living with me, he loved helping me, especially when I would make announcements to students. He would always come along and say a few words, mainly introducing himself, making many students come up to me to ask me how he is. Him being there often softened the blow when I had bad announcements to make like when I had to ban Tamagotchi because too many kids would spend so much time tied to them, then the Tamagotchi would die, and they would use a spell to revive them, and then make the Tamagotchi actually come to life. So, after he stopped living at Watford with me, students are disappointed to not see him. It makes me miss him even more.

When I go home for Christmas or summer holiday, he is always happy to see me, especially so he can play me whatever song he is learning on violin. He is quite talented at it and loves it so much. Tyrannus knows that my coming home means he has to get a haircut which he hates more than Christmas. I love Christmas because all the Pitch and Grimm adults come to Pitch Manor and it’s very nice for all of us. For once, the manor feels full. Tyrannus is normally alone as we don’t normally invite the kids, but he will sometimes come and say hello before retreating up to his room. He isn’t very close with any of the family albeit I think he likes his aunt Fiona. Also, being the Mage, summer holiday is normally filled with work, just from home instead of Watford, with minimal trips around the country. I have to file reforms, assign duties, and run the whole World of Mages.

As Tyrannus grows up, especially around age eight, when he would come visit Watford, he sneaks away to explore the school or the Wavering Wood. Often, a student finds him and brings him back to me. I thought it was cute for a while until it became worrying. When he would come to visit, I always have to keep my eye on him. He doesn’t just settle for sitting and reading anymore. He never gets hurt, I think even the creatures in the Wavering Wood, with whom I have good repour, realize Tyrannus is too young to be a student and therefore is harmless to them. I tell him multiple times not to go there, but every time he would visit, he would find a new way to sneak away and explore Watford. One time, Miss. Possibelf found him playing football with some older kids on the pitch.

“I’m worried, Malcolm. I don’t want him to get hurt. What if he falls in the moat and the merewolves get him or he comes across the something horrible in the Wavering Wood, I can’t risk losing him.” I say on the phone to Malcom. I can hear my nine-year-old son playing the violin.

“He is just being a kid, adventurous and all that. Let him, Merlin knows how lonely he must be cooped up in the manor all day.”

“Does he ever go into the woods by the house?”

“Not really, maybe on a nice day.”

“Why don’t you call your brother and see if Dev can come over and spend some time with his cousin?”

“I don’t think Basilton really wants to hang out with anyone. I think he is alright alone. He keeps himself busy between school work and violin. I think he is fine.”

“Basilton? His name is Tyrannus.”

“He says he wants to go by Basilton now. He says that when he goes to Watford, he is going to have people call him Baz.”

“ _Baz?_ ”

“Baz.” I hear the violin abruptly stop.

“Yes, father?” I hear Tyrannus… Basilton ask.

“Nothing. Just telling your mother how you want to go by Baz.”

“Oh, okay.” His playing continues.

“Do you want to speak to her?” Malcolm asks. Last time I talked to my son was a week ago.

“Hello Mother. How are things at Watford?” He says. Whenever he talks on the phone or family is around, he becomes much posher than I know is most of the time.

“Things here are wonderful, son. How are things at the Manor? Has Vera been treating you well?” I try to match his level of posh.

“Everything here is jolly good.” Now he is just being stereotypically British.

“Are you lonely? Do you need Dev to come by?” Tyrannus (I am not calling him _Baz_ ever) lets out an uneasy sigh.

“I’m fine, Mother. Listen, I have to go, it’s tea time.” I look to my clock; Watford tea time should be starting soon. He hands the phone back to Malcolm.

“See he is fine. He’s off to get his crumpets and he will be a happy lad for the rest of the day.”

“Keep me updated.”

“Always do.”

“How’s work with the Coven?”

“Fucking Davy Salisbury keeps trying to forward ideas for new reforms. He is trying to change your whole philosophy about Watford. I keep telling him I’ll send it, but I automatically decline them. He’s been trying for years, why doesn’t he get the point? He thinks Watford should be open to everyone no matter their skill level or intelligence or family status.” I scoff.

“Watford has always been a school for prestigious magicians not your half-mage nobodies.”

“Exactly. Who does he think he is? He’s been crazy since our Watford days and I shared a room with Martin Bunce.”

“I don’t remember him.”

“Mitali, Martin’s wife, was friends with him. He was obsessed with those bullshit prophecies about the Chosen One. He wanted to create one. He has a son now whose Basilton’s age, Simon Snow Salisbury.” I roll my eyes.

“That’s a rubbish name.”

“I know right. I met the boy once. Powerful, he is. I walk into their house, which by the way is smaller than Basilton’s room, because Davy couldn’t make it to an important meeting. And there Simon was, sitting at the kitchen table doing Maths, practically radiating magic. I’ve never seen anything like it. I knew Davy and his wife Lucy are powerful, but not that powerful.”

“Should the boy be observed?”

“I think he is fine. No sense in doing so if he isn’t causing any harm. He is a nice boy, I don’t think he would cause any harm to anyone on purpose.” I hum. Simon Snow, I have to remember that name.

“Are they going to apply to Watford?”

“I would guess so.” If my husband’s description is accurate, I would admit the boy based on his power level. I could never pass on such a powerful mage.

-

I meet Simon for the first time in person on the first day of the school term in 2009 before the Crucible's choosing and before the welcome picnic. There are a couple nervous first years standing with their parents. I am walking around with Tyrannus hot on my tail. He isn’t nervous, but he wants to scope out his classmates. I'd met Davy a few times over the previous summer as he was at Pitch Manor on Coven business. Looking at the woman next to him, I do recognize her vaguely. She is kneeling on the grass to match her son’s height, her hands on each side of her son’s face, talking to him. I look at Simon; a small boy, smaller than Tyrannus, with blue eyes and freckles all over his face. His blonde hair is just starting to curl at the ends. I could see what Malcolm was saying, his skin seems to radiate golden magic. Tyrannus and I walk up to them.

“Hello, I’m Natasha Grimm-Pitch, headmaster of Watford. This is my son, Tyrannus. He is a first year.” I can hear Tyrannus make a noise of disagreement, but I wasn’t about to correct myself because he wanted to be called by a stupid nickname. At least he could have chosen Ty, but no _Baz_. The woman stands up, her blonde hair falling perfectly on her shoulders.

“Lucy Salisbury.” She says, sticking out her hand. She has a good handshake.

“It’s nice to see you again Natasha.” Davy says, shaking my hand. It is quiet for a couple seconds, I can see Lucy and Davy trying to get Simon to say something.

“Hi, I’m Simon. It’s very nice to meet you.” Simon says quietly.

“Baz.” He says. I shake my head.

“It was very nice seeing you all. I must finish my rounds. See you soon.” I say, steering Baz away.

“Bye Baz!” Simon says, quietly.

We walk away from them seeing the Wellbeloves, a family I know very well. We always talk about setting Agatha and Tyrannus up. They have met on multiple occasions and seem to hit it off. Then we spot the Bunces, another family that even though I am less fond of, Malcolm and Martin were roommates, so I put up with them. Their youngest runs up to Tyrannus and sticks her hand out. “Penelope Bunce. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He shakes her hand.

“Baz.” The girl nods. I already know her older sibling, so she probably already knows of Tyrannus. I figure that this first-year class will be an interesting one. 


	2. Watford: Year 1

**Simon**

I wish it was raining, so at least standing outside would be better. I look around, a lot of the students have already sprung friendships or are at least talking to people. No one has come up to talk to me and I’m too nervous to go up to any of them. So, I just look around and wait to feel the pull of the Crucible. I see the headmaster’s boy, Baz, he is talking to two girls and two boys. He already has a whole friend group. Maybe people are avoiding me because of my radiating magic. My parents tell me sometimes it can make me off putting and I don’t want to scare anyone.

Headmaster Grimm-Pitch stands before all the first years. The sun has officially set, bright stars are shining in the sky. “Hello first years. Welcome to Watford. I’m sure many of you know what is going to happen, but for those of you uninitiated, the Crucible is about to bind you to your roommate for your time at Watford.” I zone out. The nervous energy is bubbling up inside me. I just want the spell to be cast already. I look around, everyone is completely rapt with the headmaster. I squeeze the red ball in my hand for good luck. I squeeze it three times more and then I feel a pull. It is incredibly strong. It’s like someone is grabbing my shirt and dragging me along. I almost lose my balance. All I could think about is walking to my roommate. I bump straight into Baz, making both of us trip. Thank Merlin I already know my roommate.

“You have to shake my hand.” Baz says in a bored tone. I catch my balance, my face heating up, and I quickly shake his hand. Our eyes connect, but I quickly steer away from it. My parents would be furious at me for not maintaining eye contact.

“I’m Simon. Simon Snow. Simon Snow Salisbury.” Baz snorts.

“Baz. Can I call you Snow?” He is so posh. I sound like an idiot compared to him.

“Sure.” My face is still hot.

I look at everyone else. They seem to be heading off to their rooms. “Want to go to Mummers House?” I nod.

I follow Baz to our dorm house. We cast a spell once we get there so our room can recognize us even though our blood would do the trick (which is so much cooler, but Baz insisted on the magic method). I enter the room with marvel. I didn’t really know what to expect, but our bags are already up here, and there is a uniform laid out on the bed along with a pair of Watford branded pajamas. Baz goes to claim his bed, then grabs his toiletries out of his bag, and goes to the bathroom to set them up. “We have the only room with an en suite. Feel lucky.” I nod again, starting to unpack my bag. Baz comes out of the bathroom and starts to hang out his clothes. His trousers must be expensive, they look it. I look back at my own clothes; worn jeans and too big graphic t-shirts, with some trackies thrown in there as well.

“Do you like football?” He asks me.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Cool. Can you play?”

“A bit, pretty rubbish.”

“Maybe we’ll play sometime.” I nod.

“I would like that.” There is a knock at the door. I wonder who would be coming to our room so early. I go and open the door. It’s the headmaster.

“Hello Simon.” She says nicely. I nod. I don’t like talking, I’m not very good at it except around my parents. It seems when I’m around others my brain short-circuits, maybe it’s because of all the magic.

“Hello Headmaster Grimm-Pitch.” I say, opening the door for her.

“Mum? I told you to leave me alone.”

“I just wanted to see how you got on with your roommate.” Baz looks like he wants to kill his mother. “Tyrannus, you can’t blame me.” I laugh. What kind of a name is Tyrannus? Baz glares at me.

“Mum, it’s Baz now.” He whines.

“Your name is Tyrannus.” Baz rolls his eyes.

“I’ll see you at the picnic, please leave.” He says, pushing her out of the room.

“Ok, ok, I won’t bother you anymore.” She says, leaving. 

“Sorry about that. She’s just excited I’m finally a student here.” I nod. “You don’t talk, much do you?” I shrug.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I guess I’ll have to talk enough for the two of us.” I look up, Baz is smiling at me. I smile back.

We both unpack with occasional talk about football; what teams we support or technique. I don’t watch much football, but sometimes when my dad isn’t super busy, he plays a game with me. He is much better at it than I am. I don’t think I’m necessarily good at much other than radiating magic and maths.

“Want to go to the picnic?” Baz asks. I nod. We walk outside to the courtyard together where many students are already lounging and eating. Baz walks over to the two girls he was talking to earlier. He sits down next to them and the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen grabs his arm and starts hanging on him. She is gorgeous, absolutely stunning. Before I know it, there is another girl blocking my vision of her, an Indian girl with brown hair. She puts her hand out.

“Penelope Bunce. Pleasure to meet you.” I grab her hand, it is soft. I wonder if all girls’ hands are this soft.

“Simon Snow.” I say, not knowing why I dropped my last name. Maybe it’s because Simon Snow sounds so much cooler than Simon Salisbury. She grabs my wrist and drags me to where she was sitting before.

“Agatha, this is Simon.” She looks at me, batting her golden-brown eyes at me. I wave. “Simon, this is my roommate Agatha.”

“Nice to meet you.” She says before going back to Baz, still hanging off his arm. “Anyone want to get food with me?” Penelope asks, standing up. I nod, and we go to the table with food stacked on it. I get way too much, but I’m starving. I could barely eat anything all day because I was so nervous. 

We sit back down, Baz is eyeing my plate with disbelief. He must think I’m rude or maybe disgusting for getting so much food. I don’t care. He will have to learn to live with it. Penelope has a much more sensible amount of food on her plate and is eating much slower than I am. I’m doing the thing my parents always tell me not to do, inhale my food. But they aren’t here right now, so I eat my first meal at Watford happily.

Baz and Agatha stand up. He brushes the grass off his trousers and grabs Agatha’s hand, leading her to the food table.

“What’s your magickal instrument?” My attention shifts to Penelope.

“Uh, a wand.” I take a bite of food. “You?” She shoves her hand in my face, showing off a pretty purple ring. She points to it.

“I have this ring.”

“That’s cooler than a wand.”

“Hard to aim with a ring though.” I shrug, eating one of the last bites of food on my plate. I’m still hungry. Baz comes back with a barely full plate. He eats it daintily and with perfect poise, so does Agatha. It makes me look really bad. Penelope starts to talk about how excited she is to learn magickal history and I chime in saying I’m excited for maths.

“Maths, really? That’s like the least magical subject.” Baz says in a condescending tone. I shrug.

“I dunno, it’s my best subject back when I was homeschooled.”

“You were homeschooled?” Penelope asks.

“Yeah. My parents said my magic was too powerful and too off putting to send me to school which also makes the fact I live in the middle of nowhere Wales much more sensible.” I’m surprised no one has brought up my magic. Mum and Dad say that my magic can really feel overbearing if you aren’t used to it. Penelope looks at me in awe. Was it not normal to be homeschooled by your mum?

“Oh. I went to normal school.” Penelope says.

“I had a tutor.” Baz declares.

“Same.” Agatha mentions.

“What subject are you excited for at Watford?” Penelope asks to Baz and Agatha.

“Political Science.” Baz replies.

“Astrology.” Agatha says. “Can’t wait to understand my horoscope.” Penelope laughs, and Baz lets out a dignified snort that says, ‘I’m better than you and that is so immature.’ He’s given me that snort a few times today.

I get up to throw away my plate once I’m completely done, realizing going for a second plate would make me seem too much like a pig, so I don’t. Everyone is still eating, so I lie down on the ground, looking up at the sky, ignoring everyone. Growing up in the Welsh countryside, I would sometimes sneak out to look at the stars when I couldn’t sleep. My parents told me I once fell asleep outside on our backyard and had so many mosquito bites on that they had to use a spell, so I won’t feel the itch. I was worried that when I would come to Watford, I wouldn’t be able to see the stars, but there they are, shining brightly in the sky. I still wish it was raining, then all my anxiety would go away. I try to enjoy the moment as I stare up at the stars, feeling everyone’s magic radiating around me. I could feel what my parents always told me, the energy of Watford is something extraordinary.

I feel a poke at my side. “Whatcha looking at?” Penelope asks me, lying down on her back on my right.

“The stars.” Baz snorts.

“It’s a gorgeous night.”

“It is.”

“Do you know the constellations?”

“I’ve read a few books, so yeah.”

“We are going to be great friends, Simon Snow.” She says. I smile. It’s like no one else is there.

“I’ve never had a friend before.”

“Now you have three, right guys?” Penelope grabs my hand. Agatha lies down on my left side and she grabs my hand.

“Right.”

“Basil?” Penelope asks. It’s like every time he is referred to, I hear a different name. I wish I knew his full name. He is still sitting up. He lies next to Penelope and she grabs his hand.

“Right.” I can feel Penelope squeeze my hand, before she sits up, grabbing her cup. She stands up and holds it up. 

“To the Watford Wizards.” Agatha gets up next.

“Is that what our friend group is going to be called?” Agatha asks Penelope while grabbing her cup to hold it up. Penny nods. 

“That is such a moronic name.” Baz says, sitting up.

“Come up with a better one then.” Agatha says, causing her and Penelope to laugh.

“I will.” He says, grabbing his cup angrily and standing up, holding it up like the girls are.

“Simon…” Agatha says. I like hearing her say my name. I grab my cup and stand up. We are standing in a little circle.

“To the Watford Wizards. Let the next eight years be Magickal.”

“Really, really, you couldn’t come up with anything better.” Baz critiques which makes Penelope only repeat the toast, but much louder. Some older students look over at us. I could feel my face go red. Baz goes red as well. Agatha and I cheer, and we clink our cups.

“C’mon Baz, you have to do it too.” Agatha says. We all clink our cups. I didn’t realize I was smiling until my cheeks started to hurt. Penelope engulfs me in a hug and everyone but Baz joins until Penelope literally drags him into it. I feel his arm around me. It is going to be a great eight years.

**Baz**

“Baz… Baz… Wake up.” I groan. It’s much too early for this. I open my eyes to see Snow hovering by my bed.

“What do you want?” It’s the first day, what could he possibly want from me. He is still in his pajamas, he has decided to wear the Watford ones while I wear my own.

“Come to breakfast with me. I don’t want to go alone.” I roll my eyes.

“Fine.” Snow smiles at me. It’s much too early for smiles that big.

We both get dressed; me in the bathroom, him in the room. The one thing I hate about Watford is the uniform, not the actual wearing of a uniform, but the looks of it: striped blazers that are two shades of purple and two shades of green with dark grey trousers, green jumpers, a boater hat that we have to spell to our heads, and red ties. It an atrocious color combination, but at least I won’t be the only one wearing it. I spell the hat on my head and walk outside the bathroom. Snow goes into the bathroom to brush his hair before spelling the hat on his head with **Stay Put.**

We go to breakfast. “Did you sleep well?” Snow asks me while we walk.

“Yeah, alright, you?”

“Not really. I never do.”

“Oh sorry.” I say as we enter the Weeping Tower. I didn’t really know what to say back to that after knowing him for a day.

Snow fills his plate with so much food, including way too much butter for his scone. I’m worried for his health and I’m kind of embarrassed to be sat with him. Bunce and Wellbelove come in about five minutes after we do. Bunce looks ready to conquer the world while Wellbelove looks like she might kill Bunce. They both join us after getting food, Wellbelove sits next to me, Bunce next to Snow. Penelope is rambling on about her time-table. I have to suppress the urge to tell her to be quiet. Snow is nodding along to everything she says, I can’t tell if he is actually listening or going into a food coma.

Snow and I share Greek lesson after breakfast. That class is a walk in the park for me as I’ve been learning it for years now. I don’t transfer out though, I like it. Neither of us get a lot of work as it is the first day.

We coincidentally both end up at the room before dinner, so I ask him to play a game of footie with me on the pitch. He agrees and we both put on some athletic clothes, I grab my ball, and we go outside. We pass around the ball. Snow isn’t a bad opponent, but he isn’t very good. It is fun though, we both laugh as Snow trips over his own feet and I almost kick the ball into an older girl who is playing with her friends on the other side of the pitch. Halfway through our game, Wellbelove finds us, and decides to be our cheerleader only for when Bunce gets there, tells Wellbelove that cheerleaders are sexist and proceeded to join the game. I think both Snow and I went a little easy on her, even though she insisted we play at our full potential. By the end, we are all sweaty and tired. Snow gets his incredulous amount of food and we take turns using our shower before getting ready for bed.

It’s weird, having your mum as the headmaster, because unlike all the other first years who are going without their parents for the first time, I see my mum every day. Snow is constantly emailing his parents. It’s always after dinner and he types so loudly, I don’t think he ever took lessons. Bunce sends her families letters once a week and Agatha’s mum sends her letters, but she barely responds. The only reason she doesn’t respond is because they are almost always about her finding a ‘suitable man’ and telling her to ask me out. I would totally go out with her if she asked me, my mum would be overjoyed with me being with a Wellbelove, however her magic isn’t that strong. I see her in class; while mine and Snow’s spells always land powerfully, hers sometimes don’t even cast.

My mum often asks me to eat a meal with her or will come up to Mummers House when she hasn’t seen me all day to check in. It’s a bit annoying, especially when Snow is there, but she doesn’t seem to know boundaries. I keep telling myself that maybe once I’m older she’ll give me space.

Speaking of my roommate, Snow and I have become affable. We aren’t super close yet, but it’s only the third month in the term. He is a powerful Mage, I’ll give him that. The only problem is, is that he isn’t very confident with speaking, so his spells albeit they land powerfully, don’t always work in the ways he wants them to. He is a great roommate, mostly because he is quiet and introverted. He spends a lot of time in our room even though the whole of Watford Wizards (I hate that name, but with my classes giving more and more coursework, I can’t seem to find time to think of a new name) invites him to hang out with us. Because he spends so much time in our room, it gets messy often, but I clean it when I can, he always thanks me sincerely. When Snow talks, he blubbers, mumbles, and is generally awkward but I guess that’s what you get for living in the middle of nowhere Wales with the only interaction you had for the first eleven years of your life was with your parents and a dog. But he is a nice guy who always asks me how my day went when I return back to our dorm at night.

I think I’m in love with Simon’s dog by the way. It was early in the school term when I met him. Snow wanted to see if the school’s Wi-Fi would allow him to video chat his parents. I was trying to get some homework done which by the way Snow does incredibly quick, either he is smart or he just half-asses it, I honestly don’t know which. So, he was talking to his parents, with whom he can talk completely normal to, I’ve never heard him talk more than he does to his parents, about school. He was speaking softly, trying not to disturb me when I hear, “How’s Flakes?” I was obviously confused.

“He misses his snow.” His mother says. 

“Can you show him?” I can hear his mother calling for Flakes. “Baz, do you want to see my dog?” And who am I to say no to seeing a cute dog. I think at that moment I fell in love, everything inside me melted. I don’t have a dog, but I’ve always wanted one.

“Baz, this is Flakes.” I didn’t even make fun of Simon for the name and I just sat in awe of this precious dog.

“I’m stealing it. Over winter holiday, I’m going to find where you live and steal your dog.” I hear Mrs. Salisbury laugh.

“You better not. Simon loves this dog more than anyone.” I laugh. The camera flips, I say hello to Simon’s parents, and go back to my work.

So, in the three months I’ve been at Watford, I’ve done well in all my classes, made three amazing friends, and fell in love. My studies are going well, like I planned. Bunce and I are fighting for top spot, like I planned. Bunce is impeccably smart, I sometimes study with her, she’s a maniac, but in a good way. I can easily memorize things, but she can’t, though she knows what works for her. Let’s just say it’s colorful. My favorite class has to be Greek although I’m ahead of everyone else in it. Languages are just easy for me, I guess. In a more magickal sense, Magic Words is my favorite because once you know the references, the spells become super powerful and I’ve read my fair share of books about words to know how to cast a good spell. My hardest class is Astrology, not because finding constellations is hard, it’s reading them that’s the hard part. It seems like utter rubbish to me, but Agatha is excelling at it. She is so excited to be able to read everyone’s future.

I go home with my mother for Christmas holiday. It’s weird to be home. I never realized how big Pitch manor is. My father is surprisingly happy to see me. I never thought how much he would miss me, and Vera missed me as well. Our family as well as a few members of the Coven come over for our annual Christmas party. I see Mrs. Wellbelove with her husband who both ask me if I would be interested in their daughter. I avoid answering it. My Aunt Fiona interrogates me about everything Watford like most of my family does. She gives me 20 quid before I head off to my room with an invitation to come visit her in London. I hear the loud party get into full swing. The clobbering of drunk, high-society adults becomes very present. I’m glad I escaped. I didn’t need any more people squeezing my cheeks.

I settle down onto my bed, grabbing a book I haven’t touched in months. It has a thin layer of dust on it. I start to read, trying to ignore the party downstairs. Aunt Fiona comes in at some point, hammered beyond belief, and tells me that “I’m going to be an amazing mage” before running off to join the party once more. When I see her in the morning, she doesn’t let me say a word to her. She smelt like puke.

I go back to school, happy to get out of my much too big house and to see the Watford Wizards (I tried thinking of names over the holiday, but I didn’t write them down). I am also excited about trying out for the football team. Snow and I both decided to try out though I doubt he will make it on.

The tryouts are almost as rigorous as my school work. Neither Snow or I am prepared for running suicides and scrimmages. Snow gets cut from the team. He is sad for a whole of two minutes but quickly gets over it when I promise we will still play together on weekends when I don’t have practice. He gleams at me.

Apparently, Snow had a good holiday. He doesn’t say much about it, but he says he got some new clothes which is a good thing because a lot of his shirts look very worn. He shows me pictures of his dog in an elf costume on his laptop and I again threatened Snow with the possibility of stealing his dog.

Wellbelove tells me stories of her parents on the morning after the Christmas party, she’s never seen them so hungover. She went off on holiday to somewhere warm with her normal friends, her skin is much tanner. Penelope says that she is happy school is back because she was bored out of her mind. I could relate.

Getting back into the school groove is easy, especially with football. Before I know it, it is no longer cold out, and becomes tolerable weather to play football without freezing. Once the season ends, Snow and I play a lot. Most of the time it is just the two of us, but sometimes the girls come along too.

One day, Snow and I are outside kicking the ball around. It starts to rain, and I see the most remarkable thing. Snow stops playing all together and runs off the pitch, throwing his head back, letting the rain hit his skin. He looks happy. I have to force him to come back in with us, so he doesn’t get sick.

By the end of the year, Snow still hasn’t learned what the appropriate amount of food is, and my studies go well which means I’m ahead of Bunce. I’m very proud of it. I say goodbye to my friends with a promise to talk over the summer even though I know I won’t and an excitement for my second year fills me.

 


	3. Watford: Year 2

**Agatha**

I'm humming along with Fur Elise when we pull up to the gates at Watford. My parents insist on me listening to classical music in the car, saying the music of the modern age is trash and undignified. I know most of the music by heart as I often use classical music in dressage competitions. We drive in. I'm quite excited for my second year at Watford or maybe just to see my friends again. My parents wish me a good school year in a very unconnected manner. Sometimes I wonder if my parents miss me when I'm away or if they care about me at all. Sometimes I feel like if they could, they would just have my nanny drive me here, but she's normal and wouldn't be able to get through the gates.

I drag my trunk to The Cloisters, hoping that Penelope is here so I don't have to search all around campus for Baz or Simon. She's there, unpacking her bag, some pop music is playing off her phone. She looks over at me and runs over to give me a hug. I did miss Penelope, but I did not miss her energy. She has dyed her hair blue, electric blue, can see you from across the football pitch blue. She is wearing it and her cape with pride.

"Did you do something with your hair?"

"Shut up." She whines. "Do you like it?"

"Very much." She goes back to unpacking. I put my heavy trunk on my bed, starting to unpack as well. I'm filled with excitement seeing my Watford uniform lying there. "Have you seen Simon or Baz yet?" She nods.

"They are both at Mummers House." She says. I hope I can avoid a rant about Simon Snow today. She is absolutely in love with him and has been since the moment she met him. I used to think it was cute till she started to obsess over him which confuses me because Penny is a smart girl. Why would she ever want a guy like Simon who obviously doesn't like her in that way? She sighs. I can see she wants to talk about Simon, but I'm not going to let her.

"How was your summer?" I ask.

"Good. Yours?"

"Good."

"Did you see either of the boys over break?"

"I saw Baz."

"Same." I say. "Did you kill your siblings?" Penny laughs.

"Not yet, but I was close to it. Premal had to help me dye my hair and he kept pretending to mess it up." I laugh, imagining Premal helping Penny dye her hair. "Did you ride your horse loads?"

"Yeah, I competed a lot."

"That's good."

"Yeah." Penelope and I are good friends, but sometimes we just run out of things to talk about.

"Want to go to the picnic soon?"

"Sure."

Penny and I head down to the courtyard for the picnic. Baz and Simon are already there. Neither of them has gotten food yet since they are probably waiting for us. I can see Penny's eyes light up when she sees Simon who is already in his uniform. Baz is wearing a pair of designer trousers, which I know for a fact are very expensive, and a plain black shirt. Simon stands up, coming over to us to give us hugs. He gives the best hugs, they make you feel, even for a moment, that you more than you are. He's gotten taller over the summer and his hair has gotten curlier. He looks cute, but not as cute as Baz with his hair grown long. Baz nods at me from his sitting position. I nod back. 

Simon looks back at Baz after greeting both of us, like he is waiting for Baz's permission to get food. Baz gets up, patting Simon's back to let him know to go, Penny follows him like a lost puppy. He puts his arms around her shoulder in a friendly manner. She leans into him. I could tell she is smitten, anyone could be, Simon Snow is arguable the cutest and sweetest guy at Watford. Though he does have to compete with Baz for the title of cutest.

I think I am bound to end up with a crush on Basilton. I've known him basically all my life and all my parents do is nag me about him. I think they want me to marry him since his parents are high in the Coven, rich, and he has much more magic than I do. But I don't know if that's why I want to marry him. Our whole friend group has much more magic than me, it sometimes makes me feel insecure. Baz is cold and analytical, rude and snooty, but never around me. I guess we both know what it's like to be the only child living in a big mansion with busy parents. He looks at me, putting his arms around me. His hugs are cooler than Simon's, but it brings me to Earth. He's gotten taller too and his face is starting to become more angular instead of squishy. He is turning into such a handsome man.

"Nice to see you again, Wellbelove." He says, releasing his hold on me.

"You too, Basil."

"How was the rest of your summer?" He is still standing close to me, very close to me. If I wanted to, I could stand on my tip-toes and kiss his lips.

"It was good. Yours?"

"Good." Simon and Penny return. Simon's plate is full of food. It's good to know nothing has changed.

When we get back to our dorm, my stomach stuffed with an amount of food I haven't eaten since last year. Penny is going off about Simon like usual.

"He just looks so cute, Agatha. I swear he got cuter over the summer. He is so sweet to me too. I wonder if he likes me. I think he does." I've learned to tune her out.

I spend a lot more time with Baz than I did the previous year. Maybe it's because he wants to get away from his mother's constant nagging or maybe it's because Simon is always spending time with Penny. He insists on teaching me some moves in football, I'm not very good. I teach him some dance moves, even though he knows most of them. We dance around together sometimes, just to keep the other on their toes.

I spend a lot more time on school work as well. Being friends with top of class does that to you. He is helpful in most subjects, especially the languages. It flows naturally to him. I don't think anything in school flows naturally to me.

For the first time ever, I'm invited to the annual Grimm-Pitch Christmas party. My parents went for the first-time last year when they started inviting Coven members to it. One of my normal friends and I go shopping together after riding to find the perfect dress. It's dark red and sparkly, absolutely stunning. I hope Baz thinks the same. I learn from my mother how-to put-on makeup and try to come up with my best. She ends up wiping it off while my nanny does my hair. This is one of the only moments when my mother has paid attention to me in Merlin knows how long.

The drive to the Pitch house is long, never ending maybe. Classical music blares from the speakers. I'm excited, mainly to see Baz. I fantasize the whole way of what he might be wearing. Hopefully he is wearing a green suit, so that we match.

When we get to their house, the party is already underway. I run ahead of my parents, walking inside. The manor is decorated to the nines. There are garlands hanging from every banister, a huge tree in the main room, festive themed drinks and food, and classy Christmas music playing.

Baz immediately catches my eye. He is being cornered by his aunt whose name I've forgotten. I want to go in and save him, but I know it is unladylike. His eye catches mine and he makes his way toward me. He is wearing a nice red suit with a white bow tie, even if we aren't matching, he still looks great.

"Hello. You look very nice."

"Same to you." I say. He grabs my hand, I'm not sure why, but I'm not complaining.

His mother comes over to say hello and compliments me on my dress. I blush. I see my parents come in. They look excited to be here. My mum is already making her way toward the drink table.

"What do you normally do at this party?" I ask. Baz leads me over to a couch and we sit down.

"I normally make my rounds and go upstairs before anyone gets too drunk. You staying the night?"

"Yeah." He nods. "Do you want to go upstairs now?" I ask.

"I'm not going to leave you here."

"I'll come with you."

"But you got all dolled up."

"Fine. Then at least dance with me."

A new song is beginning, Baby It's Cold Outside. I stand back up, holding out a hand. It isn't much of a waltz song, but it will have to do. He smiles at me, taking my hand. We start dancing; however, we soon stop waltzing to just start swaying. It's nice with my head on his shoulder. I feel a feather light kiss on my forehead. It's times like these when I forget that Baz probably doesn't like me like I like him.

"That was nice." He says. I'm taken out of my world. I look around, I see my mother and Baz's huddled together, looking at us. He grabs my hands and whisks me upstairs to his room.

I've been in his room plenty of times. He goes over to his wardrobe, pulling out some clothes. I couldn't believe how fast he wanted to get changed. I sit on his bed. He comes and sits next to, a pile of clothes in his arms. I hear the party going on downstairs. I'm glad we escaped. I'm glad it's just us right now. I'm glad there is no magic ruling this moment. It's just us, sitting down, basking in each other's presences, with a party of drunk adults happening downstairs. I kiss Baz's cheek, hoping he wouldn't get angry at me for it. Instead, he presses his lips to my cheek. I feel over the moon. There isn't even any mistletoe around.

"Do you ever feel like there is this pressure building inside you and you can't make it go away?" I ask. I don't know why I'm feeling this, but I look at Baz. He has cold eyes, but in this moment they melt.

"Sometimes, yeah."

"I feel it all the time."

"Why?" I know this is stupid. I'm thirteen. I shouldn't be feeling as if my world has been turned upside down by some weight on my chest.

"Magic." I think I've lost Baz at this moment. He loves magic and everything it comes with. "It's like... everyone has more of it than I do, especially our friend group, and it's just hard to be around it."

"It might be because of Simon's magic. He says it does that sometimes, makes people feel uneasy. It can be too much sometimes."

"But it isn't too much for you or for Penny." I take a breath. "And everyone is constantly asking me about you. About when we are going to be together and what have we been getting up to school, like we're sneaking around. And I don't want to be just Tyrannus Basiltion Grimm-Pitch's girl. I want to be me and ride my horses and be me. It's all so frustrating. 'Be with Baz, Agatha. He'll treat you right.' That's all I ever hear." Baz just grabs my hand. Maybe he does understand.

"It'll be okay." He kisses me, very softly, very quick, on my lips. "You don't have to be my girl. You don't have to be anyone's girl. You can just be Agatha Wellbelove around me. You don't have to be a powerful mage or be super smart. You can just be my friend or maybe if you want to be my girl, you can be my girl. If you want to be independent, that's great."

"Are you asking me to be your girl?" Baz shrugs.

"Whatever. Everyone says we are end game, but end game doesn't have to happen now. End game never has to happen at all." How did Baz become so smart? 

**Penny**

When we all come back from Christmas holiday, something is definitely different. To start out, Agatha seems happier. She is smiling and tries to sing along with the music I play in the room. She seems genuinely happy and I don't know what happened over break, but whatever did, seems to overjoy her. She spends a lot of time with Baz, like a lot of time. There are constantly holding hands and sitting close together. I haven't gotten it confirmed from her, but I think they are dating.

Simon's been pissy lately. I don't know why. He will come to breakfast, his favorite meal, in a fit of anger and if Baz and Agatha sit at our table he moves. It doesn't take a genius to know something with Baz is making him angry. It only gets worse throughout the day. He'll meet me for dinner, steam basically coming out of his ears.

Every Friday since last year, we would all play a game of footie together. Or at least Baz, Simon, and I would play, and Agatha would watch. The first Friday back from holiday is the tensest game of football I've ever experienced. Simon looked like he wanted to tackle Baz, who takes victory, Agatha coming up to him, kissing him on the lips. I look at Simon, I wonder if he knew they are dating. Simon starts fuming. He walks over to Baz.

"Are you dating her?" He asks.

"Yeah." Baz says, casually.

"Fuck you, mate. Honestly, fuck you." Simon says. I've never seen Simon so angry that he uses curse words.

"What did I do?"

"You know what you did."

"Simon, can we do this later? Maybe in our room?"

"I've dealt with this for a week and you don't even have the decency to tell me that you are dating her. You are never around and you don't even tell me." Then Simon lowers his voice, I could barely make out him saying. "I didn't even know you liked her like that." Agatha isn't too happy, even though two boys are fighting over her. I feel my heart sink down to my stomach after properly realizing that Simon doesn't like me.

Simon comes over to me, grabbing my hand, and dragging me to Mummer's House. I learned from my mum over break that the 'no girls in Mummer's House' rule doesn't work for Bunces because she broke it. I've been too nervous to try it out.

"Right when I thought we were friends, he goes and does this. I can't believe him. Penny, I can't believe him." I stop walking which makes him stop. I put my hands on his shoulders.

"Deep breaths. In and out."

"I just can't believe he would just go and take her right out of my hands." That sinking feeling happens again.

"Simon, just calm down, please. We are thirteen, the likelihood of that relationship working out is probably very low, now let's calm down."

"Are you kidding? They are meant for each other. Baz has said it himself."

"Well, fuck them then. We don't need them. It can just be us two."

"What about Watford Wizards?"

"Watford Wizards can take a break for right now." He lets out a huff. "Let's just go to dinner." He grabs my hand again and we go to dinner. He eats more food than I've ever seen him eat, and this is Simon we are talking about.

I walk him back to Mummer's House, Baz and Agatha not too far behind. As an act I'm sure is just pure jealously, he kisses me. I almost die because Simon Snow, my best friend in the world, is kissing me. My whole world turns into a magical paradise. I push him off once I come to my senses. I want to slap him, but he's already gone through too much for one day.

"Penny, I'm so sorry. I-I... please don't kill me. I know you are a strong, independent woman. I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sorry." He immediately mumbles out in what I like to call Simon language.

"That was my first kiss, you absolute fucker. I'm going to get Premal to come over and kick your ass." I joke, but I could see Simon is physically upset. "Kidding."

"I'm so sorry, Penny. I'm just jealous. I love you a lot. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Simon, it's okay. I understand." I rub his arm. "It's okay. We are okay." He nods. "But if you didn't just find out your roommate is dating your crush, I would slap you right now." He looks down. "Get some sleep, Simon."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too." Simon disappears into Mummer's House, Baz only a few steps behind. I grab Baz's arm sleeve, pulling him to where Simon and I just were.

"Not cool." I say. He rolls his eyes, doing that snooty scoff thing that Agatha constantly does to me when I don't understand the dynamics of dressage.

I walk to the Cloisters. Agatha is already in our room and I want to feel bad for her. I really want to tell her what to do. But, I kind of have to stick with Simon on this one. No matter how much girl power means to me.

"Hey." I say.

"Hey." She says back. "Sorry." I sit down on my bed, undoing my cape. "...about Simon."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Not whatever."

"What am I supposed to say Agatha? He doesn't like me like that. He probably just likes me like a sister, but I don't want another brother. I don't need another brother. I'm fine." I say. "You are the one who had two boys fight over her, how are you?"

"I'm okay. Baz told me he isn't going to let that happen again, but he doesn't want to stop dating. Is Simon mad at me?"

"More at Baz."

"Did you know Simon had a crush on me?"  

"Had my suspicions."

"I would never take Simon from you. That's just against girl code." I wish it wasn't just about breaking girl code, but because she is my friend.

"You don't want Simon anyway. He is so high maintenance, barely speaks, not that great at magic."

"Then why do you want him?"

"Because he's sweet and he cares about me... not just me, all of the Watford Wizards so much. He is so rubbish at magic, I just want to help him through it. His love of scones is just so pure. Plus, he is adorable. Have you seen him recently? That's a plus." Agatha nods. "What do you like about Baz?" She shrugs.

"He's sweet to me. He cares about me." I nod.

When I wake up in the morning and go to Simon and my usual meeting spot, he isn't there. He is always there. I wait there for ten minutes before I head to breakfast by myself. Baz is there, shoveling food into his mouth with a vigor I've only seen in Simon. I grab a plate, making my way to Baz. I sit down next to him as he puts the last spoonful of yogurt into his mouth.

"Simon's in the hospital wing." He says to me, before running off.

Seeing that it is Saturday, I know Agatha won't be up until about lunchtime and she'll kill me if I wake her, so I quickly eat (I'm surprised i can eat, I'm so worried), and go to the hospital wing. Simon must've been in there for at least a couple hours because his parents are already there, and they come all the way from Wales. I've never met Simon's parents in person, only over video chat once or twice. His dad is in the middle of a healing charm and his mom is holding Simon's hand, crying. Baz is holding Simon's other hand, very loosely, but he looks worried, an emotion I've never seen on his face before. Simon looks fast asleep, his curly hair matted to his forehead. 

"Hello everyone." I say, making my presence known. Simon's dad stops his charms, his mother looks up at me. Baz doesn't even pat an eyelash in my direction. I walk over to Simon's parents, holding my hand out. "Penelope Bunce. Very nice to meet you both." They both shake my hand with all the energy they can muster. They must be utterly exhausted.

"What happened?" I ask.

"He went off." Baz says, as if it is something that happens every day.

"What?"

"We were sleeping. Before bed, we had a bit of a tiff. We both go to bed and next thing I know, I'm awoken because our room is a million degree and Snow is glowing magic, screaming. Thankfully, someone heard and got an authority figure. We took him here."

"I was so worried when they called. Baz says that directly afterward, he was unconscious." Simon's mum says. I go over to Baz.

"Why didn't you get someone to tell me?"

"Didn't want to wake you. Figured I'd see you in the morning."

"Have you been here all night?"

"Yeah. I know Simon's mad at me right now, but he is my friend above all else, I wasn't going to leave him here."

"You are a good friend." Simon's mother says. I sit down next to Baz, grabbing Simon's hand from him.

"Does Agatha know he is here?"

"No. I don't mess with her on weekend mornings. She'll find out, just like the whole school will by this afternoon."

Headmistresses Grimm-Pitch enters, immediately going over to Baz to make sure he is okay, before addressing the boy in the hospital bed or his parents.

"I heard what happened, just wanted to make sure everything is okay."

"Everything is fine, mum. No worries."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, mum. No big deal."

"A boy exploded with magic, that isn't a big deal to you Tyrannus?'

"It is, I guess."

"Does this happen often?" She asks.

"It happened once when he was a baby." His father says. "Not since." He looks over at his son, overly worried.

"Oh. Just a fluke then?"

"Just a fluke." Baz says, trying to shoo his mother away to no avail.

"Do you need anything from me, Mr. and Mrs. Salisbury?"

"I think we are okay, thanks." Mr. Salisbury says. Headmaster Grimm-Pitch leaves quickly after that.

It's a few hours until Simon wakes up. He looks around tiredly, maybe for Agatha who still isn't here.

"Mum? Dad? What are you doing here? What happened? Where am I?" He says, his voice horse.

"In the hospital wing. You went off last night." His mother says.

"I brought you here." Baz says. Simon glares at him. "Look I'm sorry, alright?" That's when Agatha runs in.

"Simon! You're okay! I woke up and people were saying in the hospital wing." She says.

"Hey, can you do me a favor and get me some food?" It confuses me why he would ask her. Agatha definitely won't get enough scones or enough butter. Baz would even know better than her, but maybe he didn't feel like dealing with her right now.

"Yeah, yeah, sure." She says, exiting.

"Sorry for worrying you all." Simon's dad pushes the hair off Simon's head.

"It's no trouble at all. We're glad you are okay." He says.

"Did you say I went off? What happened?"

"You like exploded with magic. I've never seen anything like it." Baz says. Simon looks at me with tired blue eyes.

"Penny, I think I deserve that slap now." I laugh which makes him laugh. His laugh is full of life. Even if the others have no clue what we are talking about they laugh along. When it all calms down Simon says, "I miss Flakes."

"You'll see him soon enough."

"Where is he?"

"We got someone to watch him." Simon nods.

Simon doesn't go off the rest of the year and I become more protective of him. We spend a lot more time together. I would say the incident brought us closer, but that doesn't really make sense as Baz was the one who brought him to the hospital wing. He starts talking to me more. It's nice.

One day when it's raining, I find him standing outside. It is after dinner, no reason for him to be standing out there. He is just twirling around in the drizzle. He looks so serene. I don't want to bother him. I realized then that there are some things I will never understand about Simon, this is one of them.

On the last day of term, Simon kisses me. "I meant that one." He says, before running off to his parents. I want to run after him, ask him what that meant, what this means. But his parents brought Flakes with them and my brother was pulling me along to our family. I couldn't make my way to him.

 


	4. Watford: Year 3

**Baz**

Coming back from summer holiday is a slap in the face, but a good one. Summer holiday is often boring days filled with reading the same books and playing the same songs on my violin over and over again. Before my first year at Watford, that would be fine, but now that I'm been spoiled with gaining acquaintance with people I actually like, summer holiday seems boring without them.

It rains a lot of the summer, Snow must love it. I can just imagine him running outside to feel the cold water drops form on his skin. He is always so hot, it must cool him down. I don't know what is with him and rain, maybe this year I'll ask him.

I see Wellbelove and Bunce multiple times over break or rather their parents. When the Wellbeloves come over, they often bring Wellbelove as they come more to be social than for Coven related business. I see Bunce's parents often, sometimes they bring their eldest son, for Coven reasons. They brought Bunce with them once. It was nice to see her. She told me that right before holiday ends, she wants to dye her hair. I told her purple would look nice on her. I even see Simon's dad sometimes. I don't think he realizes I'm his son's roommate even though I've met him multiple times on video chat. I think he only recognizes me because I'm the Mage's heir. He'll often say hi to me. I want to ask him how Snow is, but I don't. I feel kind of clingy thinking about it.

Speaking of being the Mage's heir, over the summer my mum taught me the incantation, so I can conquer the Sword of Mages. I'm really excited to have it. It's so powerful. I can't wait to show the Watford Wizards (I will come up with a better name one day).

I'm the first one from the Watford Wizards to be back since my mum always comes a few days early to make sure things are set up. I start to get settled in my room; unpacking my belongings, putting my new laptop on the school internet, finding a good place to store my violin. Then I go to check in on my mother to make sure she is ready for the influx of students coming onto campus today. She is always ready. I wait outside on the courtyard for my friends, hoping they come while the sun is still up.

Bunce and her gaggle of a family show up first. She runs over to me, purple hair flying in the breeze. She looks nice with it, especially with her huge smile. She pulls me into a hug, and I hug her back even though I'm not one for that much physical contact. But it's the first day back and I'm happy to see her. She looks more grown up this year, I don't know why. She just looks... better.

"Hello Basil." She says, letting go of me.

"Hello Bunce." I say.

"Still not going to call me Penelope?"

"Why would anything change?" She shrugs. "I like your hair, purple suits you." She looks properly good on her, even if it's a crazy bright color.

"Is anyone else here yet?" I shake my head. She looks around, probably for Snow.

"Well, I'm going to Cloisters. See you at the picnic, Basil." I groan as she runs off.

The next one to arrive is Snow, with his one too many bags, and his parents wishing him goodbye. He sees me, running over, almost tripping on his long legs. We have caught up in height. I can't believe we are the same height. He looks good, his hair cut incredibly short. He greets me in his usual manner, a huge hug and a smile unlike any other. He wants to unpack quickly in order to get his uniform ASAP and to ensure his unhealthy food habits continue. I know him all too well.

Then Wellbelove arrives. I feel a weird mix of apprehensiveness and excitement. She looks as gorgeous as usual. Her long blonde hair has only gotten longer. She is wearing a tight shirt, showing her curves. She comes up to me, kissing my cheek, not even saying hello, before walking off to the Cloisters. I'm stood there alone.

Snow returns with his Watford uniform on minus the boater hat. I don't think any of us really want to put that thing on until we have to. Wellbelove returns next. She kisses me on the lips, and I can't help but feel bad for Simon. I can see him looking away. Wellbelove then goes to greet him, he pulls her into a hug, whispering something to her that makes her giggle. I feel something I can only guess is jealously.

Bunce returns and I see the weirdest thing ever. She runs up to Snow and he pulls her into a hug before kissing her... on the lips. I look at Wellbelove, who is now back at my side, to see if she knew about this. But she seems as confused as I am.

"Excuse me, when did this happen?" Wellbelove bursts.

"Simon kissed me at the end of last term." Bunce says in a relaxed tone.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Wellbelove asks.

"Well, I didn't know if it would lead to anything." Wellbelove huffs, that was obviously not a good enough excuse.

"Should've told me. I told you everything about Baz."

"No! You didn't! Not until after the incident."

"Oo, the food's out. Penelope, come with me." Thank Merlin for Snow for getting everyone out of an awkward situation. He drags Bunce away.

"Did Simon tell you?"

"Things are still a little awkward between us. Plus, he still doesn't like talking around me. Bunce seems to be the only person in all of Watford who speaks Simon Snow." Snow barely talks to me. It's just kind of weird between us. All we talk about is Greek and football, and how each other's days went.

"I just can't believe it. She finally gets some action with her crush and she doesn't tell me."

"Did you really tell Penelope about everything? Do you guys talk like that?"

"Yeah, I mean we are roommates, things get spread around." I couldn't tell if she was lying to me or not.

Snow and Penelope return and then Wellbelove and I go and get our food. We all sit on the lawn, chatting whilst the sun sets.

"Do you want to see something cool?" I ask to the group after we've finished eating. I stand up. "In justice. In courage. In defense of the weak. In the face of the mighty. Through magic and wisdom and good." The sword appears beside me. Snow's eyes widen. "The Sword of Mages. Isn't it cool? There are perks of being the Mage's Heir after all."

"Woah, can I see?" Snow says. I shake my head.

"I'm the only one who can hold it." Snow pouts.

"Baz, be careful with that." Wellbelove says, like she's my mum or something.

"I'm fine, Wellbelove. I've done this plenty of times." I send the sword away and sit back down. Then, Bunce reaches into her pocket, a trail of beaded bracelets come out.

"I made us all friendship bracelets." She says. I snort.

"What are we five?"

"Shut up, Baz. Thanks Penny." Agatha says. All of ours had two w's for Watford Wizards and our names along with different colored beads. I hate to admit it's nice that she did that.

I go back to my room with Snow trailing behind me. I grab my clothes and get changed into my pajamas in the bathroom. When I come back, Snow is already sitting on his bed.

"So, you and Bunce? Can't say I'm surprised." Even though on the inside I'm like 'why, when, how?'

"Yeah," He says.

"Cool."

"Yup."

"Are you going to date her?" Snow shrugs.

"Still kind of hung up on Agatha. I don't want to be a shit boyfriend to Penelope. I'm just going to wait until I get over my feelings for her, so I can focus on her."

"Oh."

"How's your relationship with Agatha going?"

"Alright."

"Good. Treat her well."

"I will."

Not necessarily the first month of school, but once school starts really going, Snow spends all his time with Bunce. Like all his time. That's not even the worst part though because somehow Bunce can enter our room, so I'll just see them in our room together. Thankfully, I'm not big enough of a dick to kick her out. If Wellbelove could do that, I'm sure she would be up there with me. They are so annoyingly cute together. I want to scream every time I see them together. Snow is super protective of her too, but not too much because he understands that Bunce likes to stand up for herself. It's so annoying how perfect they are for one another and how much they just click.

But with Snow and Bunce being together, while Bunce still does well in all her classes, I can easily pull ahead for top of class. Weirdly, with Snow dating Bunce, he's been doing impeccably well in all subjects not just in maths.

Wellbelove and I, we just aren't like that. We have a connection and it's nice to be with her and all that. But we aren't on Bunce and Snow level perfect and it bothers me how Snow can catch such a smart girl... not that Wellbelove isn't smart. How did Snow manage to catch such a powerful Mage? However, I stay with Wellbelove because she is nice company and I do like her a lot. Plus, my mum often sees Wellbelove and I together, it makes her happy.

I try to play my violin every day, especially when no one is in the room. Sometimes, I'll go sit in the courtyard with Wellbelove or on rare occasions, the rest of Watford Wizards. I like playing for Wellbelove, she appreciates it. She knows a lot of classical music, so she hums along sometimes. Snow gets antsy easily and Bunce is indifferent.

By Christmas break, Bunce and Snow are still going strong. They make a whole big deal of not wanting to leave each other while Wellbelove and I just say, "See you at Christmas." Snow even brings Bunce to his parents, only to what I'm guessing, introduce her as his girlfriend. It's so painstaking to watch. I think Wellbelove picks up on my jealously/annoyance. She drags me away and kisses my lips before sadly going off to her parents. I could tell she didn't really want to do so. Her parents don't really care about her, another reason why I can't leave her. I need to let her know that someone loves her.

My mother is on top of me over break, constantly asking me about Wellbelove and nagging me about why I got a ninety-eight instead of a hundred on a test and it gets to a point where I want to rip my head off. Christmas break could not be over sooner. And of course, of all years for the Wellbeloves to go on holiday, it's this one. Since I'm getting older, my mother expects me to stay at the party longer. So, I am completely and utterly stuck.

Wellbelove calls me on Christmas Eve saying she is stuck in hell with her family. That hell being Paris, which she really shouldn't be complaining about, but Mr. and Mrs. Wellbelove could suck the fun out of anything. She says she wishes I was there with her, and at this moment, I wish I was too.

She calls me again on New Year's Eve to say she is coming over. I tell her she could without any thought. I craved some excuse to get away from my mother's nagging and my father's stuck-up ignorance. We kiss at midnight.

"Have any New Year's resolutions?"

"I want to become better friends with Snow, get my mother off my tail, and become super fit so when football tryouts come around, I'm not dying." I say. "You?" She shrugs.

"I want to become more independent, I want to do better in school, and I want to drink more water." Why is it that when Wellbelove and I are at my house, we end up having conversations that leave the room in a silence, not awkward but longing, and leave me thinking?

**Simon**

Christmas holiday is the weirdest one I've ever had. Penny invites me to come visit her for New Year's. I, of course, say yes, even if that meant leaving my family tradition of lighting fireworks in our backyard. I take a train which doesn't leave me very far off from Penny's house. Penny picks me up and we walk to her place. Her parents are uncomfortable from my magic, I can tell. They freeze up the moment I enter the kitchen where they are and stare at me like I’m an alien. I've never met her parents before but when she rattles off my last name, they look at me with astonishment.

"What are your parents' first names?" Her mum asks me.

"Lucy and David." I respond. Their eyes widen as if they've seen a ghost. They both look at each other, then back at me.

"You are the son of Lucy and Davy Salisbury?" Her father asks. I nod. They must've known my parents back in their Watford days. While my parents love to talk about their experiences at Watford with me, they never seem to talk about their friends or family. Like our house in Wales, it's all a little isolating.

"I thought Lucy went to California. I can't believe she ran away with him!" Penny's mother commentates.

"California?" I ask. They look at me. "Do you know my parents?"

"We all went to Watford together. I was your mother's best friend." She says.

"We were a tight bunch the four of us." Her dad states.

"Oh?" I say. I see Penny itching to show me the rest of the house, but finally knowing a new side of my parents seems much more interesting.

"When your father was in eighth year, he was obsessed with making the Chosen One. Your mother was so in love with Davy, that she went to help him, we all told her that she was bound to get hurt. After graduation, she never spoke to us again. Just disappeared. I asked her mother where she went, she said California."

"Well, I'm no Chosen One." I say. "Just a normal Mage."

"With an incredible level of magic." Penny says. I shake my head.

"Just a normal Mage."

Penny grabs my hand and shows me the rest of her house. Her siblings all running around, laughter filling through the halls. It's nice to be somewhere filled with noise that isn't just the TV or a dog barking. I meet all her siblings and try to keep track. I already know Premal, he's two years above us, and Pacey who is a first year. The other two I don't know as they are too young to be a Watford. They are adorable. Penny calls them the devil's spawn.

When the clock strikes midnight, Penny kisses my cheek. I leave the next day, wanting to spend the last few days of holiday with my parents. When I get home, I ask them about the Bunces, they deny everything and get super defensive. I try and ask about the Chosen One, my father sends me to my room. I wonder why they want to get rid of their past so much.

I take a lot of walks over break, especially in the snow. Flakes likes when I walk him, so I make sure to make it count no matter how cold it is. I normally don’t get very cold anyway. I love to watch Flakes play around in the snow, it's adorable.

I talk to my parents a lot about Penny. They say it's cute how I've found a girl and that the relationships you make at Watford never leave you. It makes me question why they don't spend more time with their friends. All of my break is just weird, and I don't know why.

The first person I see when I get back is Agatha. She tells me all about her trip to Paris and I nod along. She seems as if she had a good time.

"Hey, are you still mad at Baz?"

"No." I say, even though I'm still just a bit ticked. I've been trying not to think about it, trying to find a way to forgive him, but when I look at Agatha, my heart flutters. Though I then see Penny and my heart leaps. Maybe I am finally over her.

"Good. I think he really wants to be friends." I want to laugh. I don't think Baz and I will ever be friends. He is a pompous ass ninety percent of the time. He does one nice thing once a year and the other times he's a prick.

"I want to be friends with him too." But I don't think we ever will be.

I see Baz in our room late at night. He is still up past midnight even though he is normally fast asleep. I never sleep. It's only gotten worse. I want to say something, but I don't. I need to stop thinking or else I'll explode. i roll over onto my side, staring out the window and at Baz's face that's illuminated by his laptop screen.

"Can't sleep?" I ask him.

"Yeah."

"Me either." I say quietly. He closes his laptop, lying down on his side, facing me.

"How was your Christmas?" He asks me. We've already had this conversation... twice.

"Fine. Yours?"

"Good."

"Why can't you sleep?" I ask.

"Too many thoughts."

"Same."

"Do you ever question why you are here?"

"All the time." I mumble. "Do you know anything about the Chosen One?" Baz chuckles.

"The stupid prophecies?"

"I guess."

"Not that much. I remember learning about them, don't remember what they said."

"Oh."

"I'm really sorry I took Agatha from you. It wasn't cool. It's just she and I are end game. Even if Agatha and I don't want it, it will happen. Why not start fulfilling that now." I don't understand. Maybe it's because I don't come from a rich, old family that needs to keep the rich, old family thing going.

"It's cool." I guess it will have to be.

"How's your dog?" Baz asks.

"Good. I was surprised to not find you at my doorstep trying to take him away."

"Yeah, well, the life of the Mage's Heir is busy sometimes."

"I can only imagine."

I want to ask him more questions. I want to get to know the guy I've been sharing my room with for three years, but it seems my brain isn't communicating with my mouth. It never does. Soon I hear the steady breathing of another boy. I listen to it, trying to sleep. Then I hear the rain fall outside and it lulls me to a restless sleep.

Penelope is very excited to see me in the morning and I am too, but I'm sleepy and anxious, not a very good combination. I almost fall asleep in Greek, thankfully Baz threw a paper airplane at me to wake me up. I try out again for the football team. I don't make it. I'm not surprised. Baz and I continue playing, he has gotten better. It tires me out enough that I can sleep.

I don't know where this onslaught of anxiety has come from. It happened a lot in my first year, but not since except around exam time. I don't really know what to do about it. I try and put my all into academics and into maintaining friendships, but I don't know how it's actually working out. I've been eating even more scones than usual, I've probably put on a lot of weight, but I can't find it in me to care. I think my boyfriend skills have really been depleting. It's gotten to a point where I just tell Penny that I'm tired. She doesn’t leave me alone though. She always comes to check on me. Sometimes, she’ll just sit in bed and we will watch a movie together. I never really pay attention, but it’s nice to have her there. I've been spending some more time with Baz, just because it seems like he isn't judging me.

On weekends, I barely leave my bed. I try to shut my brain up, try to not think, but everything keeps coming back. It never stops. Sometimes it's hard to carry on.

Two months back from school and I know it's getting worse. It's so bad that I miss dinner on Saturday because I was so zoned out. Penny comes to Mummer's House with some food she stole. She knocks on the door loudly, pulling me out of the weird state I'm in. I find some energy to open the door. She looks angry.

"Where were you? We were all worried sick! When does Simon Snow Salisbury ever miss a meal?" She exclaims.

"I'm sorry. I was here. I just forgot."

"What is going on with you?" I ask. I can't help but think of what Baz asked me that night. ‘Do you ever feel like you don't know why you are here?’ Then I hear it. The soft pitter-patter of rain beating against my window. I run as fast as I can outside. Penelope's yells of concern follow me outside. She is screaming from my window.

"What the fuck, Simon?" I open my arms and just let the rain wash over me. I let everything go. I know people are staring, but the cold rain brings me back to earth. The rain gets harder, Penny is still yelling, I feel a pair of hands on each of my arms. I open my eyes to see Baz and Agatha dragging me inside. Agatha can't go in, so Baz must make sure I go upstairs. He has a stern look on his face, his dark hair dripping with water.

When we enter the room, Penny just goes, "You are a piece of work, Snow," gives me the food and leaves. It's just Baz and me.

"We were really worried, mate." He says, going to the bathroom and returning with two towels. "What happened?"

"I dunno. I've been super anxious lately and I just ended up having an existential crisis. I kind of lost track of time."

"You have to tell us next time." Since when has he been so invested in Watford Wizards?

"I didn't know we are friends like that."

"Anathema." He states, like that had anything to do with it. I don't feel like talking. I sit down at my desk and open the package of food. It's small, but I'm not very hungry.

"You know, I was kind of worried about you." I shrug. I look at him. "Can we be mates now? Like proper mates? Tell each other everything... mates?" I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, sure. But you are going to have to tell me things too."

"What do you want to know?"

"Why do you play violin?"

"I like it."

"More than that. That's a Simon length answer, I want a Baz length answer."

"It's simple... I mean it's not simple. It's not easy at all. It's the only thing that I've ever really had to work for. Football and school come naturally to me, but violin is something so difficult. It intrigued me in a way nothing had ever before."

"Why is Agatha your end game?"

"It's just like that, Snow."

"Does my magic make you uncomfortable?"

"No."

"Good."

"Are you going to start talking more to now?"

"I'll try."

"Good."

"Yeah."

"Why don't you talk a lot?"

"My brain and my mouth don't connect." Baz laughs.

"That actually makes a lot of sense." I blush. I look at Baz. He is sitting on his bed, looking at me. I take this moment to really look at him: his dark hair and gray eyes, his skin so pale it looks like he's never been outside. I think about how we are weirdly the same height right now and I think about maybe being friends with Baz won't be so hard after all.

I find Penny in the morning. She’s at our meeting spot. I pull her into my arms whispering a thousand apologies for worrying her. She says that it wasn't cool what I did. I told her that I realize that. She kisses me. It feels as if it's all restored. I play a lot of football. It seems like something to get my mind off everything else. Agatha and I have a weird relationship. We don't really talk and yet we are close. She likes talking to me and I like listening. I talk to Baz now, more about life and the meaning of it than what used to be football and school. It's nice to be friends, actual close friends, with my roommate, it makes sleeping much easier. It makes the end of the year come sooner.


	5. Watford: Year 4

**Penny**

I'm squished between Premal and Pacey who are both screaming the lyrics of the songs playing on the radio right in my ear just to annoy me. I would've taken shotgun, but Micah, the American exchange that stayed with us throughout the last two weeks of holiday, has taken that spot. He's humming along to the British pop music that I'm not sure if he knows, making conversation with my mum in the front seat. He is a friendly guy and a powerful Mage. He's taught the whole family how to play American baseball. He's attractive as well; wild brown hair and huge, round glasses that take up most of his face. He's nice company to have.

When we pull up to Watford, I see Simon still saying goodbye to his parents. My mum immediately stops the car and opens the door, shouting, "Lucy? Davy?" They look over to her and I blush. The four of us exit the car, grabbing our bags from the boot. Simon comes over to me, narrowly escaping the reunion. He looks different, a good different. He's even taller than before and his hair has gotten to be a curly mess. Thankfully, he didn’t come back with his head shaved like last year. He comes up to me, kissing my cheek. Micah walks over, sticking out his hand.

"Hi, I'm Micah." He says, in his foreign accent. Simon eyes him up and down, maybe to see if he is a threat to our relationship or not.

"Uh, hey, I'm Simon."

"He's my boyfriend." I quickly add.

"Oh." Micah says in a surprised tone. I don’t know if he is surprised that I have a boyfriend or that said boyfriend is much, much taller than me.

“It looks like our parents are having quite the reunion.” Simon says to me. I see my mum hugging them and adamantly talking about her life post-Watford, probably scolding them for not keeping in touch. “I’ll walk you to the Cloisters, just let me say a final goodbye to me mum and dad, yeah?” Simon never offers to walk me to the Cloisters, but I take it anyway.

He grabs my hand and takes me over to his parents, quickly introducing me again. I smile politely and say that it’s nice to see them again. My mum remarks about how lovely Simon is, as if neither of us are there, which is Simon’s cue to say goodbye one last time, and we head to the Cloisters.

“Why was that guy with you?” He asks.

“He stayed with us the last two weeks of holiday. He’s here for this year.”

“The whole year?”

“Are you jealous?” Simon pouts, shaking his head.

“No, no, it’s just…”

“You have nothing to worry about.” I rub his arm, he sighs. “Really, nothing.”

“Ok.”

Agatha is already in our room when I get there. She jumps up when she sees me. She’s sitting on her bed, stuff already unpacked, painting her nails. The whole room smells of nail varnish.

“Have you seen Baz?”

“No, I’ve seen Simon.”

“So, you haven’t seen Baz?”

“No…”

“Penny,” She whines.

“What?” I know I’m in for it.

“He got so hot over the summer.”

“So, did Simon.” 

“You haven’t seen him though.”

“What’s so different about him?”

He looks so different. His hair has been cut shorter than it’s been in the past couple years, he’s taller than Simon, he is a bit tan, and he looks really fit… really, really fit. However, then Agatha sees Simon and I see her eyes light up. Those two could be models and I wouldn’t bat an eyelash.

“Nice hair, Bunce.” Baz says. I dyed it pink this last summer, he’s the first one to point it out.

“Thanks.” I give him a hug and he gives me a real hug back.

Halfway through our little reunion, Micah saunters over. I momentarily forgot that I promised my mum to show him around. Then again, I momentarily forgot he was here.

“So, these are the friends you’ve been talking to me about.” He says. I see Agatha swoon a bit at his accent. I would be lying if, when I first heard it, I didn’t swoon too.

“Yeah, this is Baz, and this is Agatha.”

“Nice to meet you.” He says.

“I think my mum said there would be an American exchange. Didn’t know he would be in our year.” Baz says.

“Your mom?” Micah asks.

“She’s headmaster.” I can see a look of panic and wonder on Micah’s face.

“Did Premal or Percy show you where Mummers House is?” I say, quickly changing the topic.

“Yeah. Found my room too.”

“Good.” It becomes very awkward very fast; our usual energy gone. Maybe it’s because its fourth year and we’ve all been through this before. By now, it’s going through the motions, waiting for tomorrow to start.

As per usual, Simon takes me with him to get food. Simon stuffs himself to the brim and afterwards we go to the football pitch to look at the stars. We normally don’t do this; we normally stay up and chat with the rest of Watford Wizards till one of the teachers tell us to go to bed. But, it’s nice, having his arms around me and just enjoying each other’s company. He’s still wearing the friendship bracelet I made him. He holds me tight in his arms, like I’m his world. I like feeling like that. I feel his magic radiating around us. Unlike a lot of our classmates, I find it calming. It’s nice to see a powerful mage who isn’t power hungry.

Then, after ten minutes of just lying there in complete silence, he kisses my cheek in an awkward angle. I sit up and he does the same. We kiss on the lips. His are soft and warm. I put my arms around his neck, he puts his hands on my back. It’s nice. What I like about Simon is that it is never uncomfortable, he never tries to force anything on me (other than that one time when he kissed me to make Baz jealous, but he apologized, and it led to this). He just lets things happen, not that anything other than kissing has happened yet. I still can’t believe Simon likes me like this.

“Is this okay?” Simon asks like the sweetheart he is.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” He shrugs.

“Just checking.” He puts his lips back on mine and I put my hands through his hair. It’s wavy underneath my fingertips, the loose curls coming undone. Too bad, Baz and Agatha find us and ultimately cock block us.

“How could you leave us with that American?” Baz states, lying down on the field. Simon groans, lying back down.

“Stop being melodramatic, Micah’s nice.” I say, trying to defend the exchange student.

“Still, you and pretty boy left us. Left us! And to go snog. At least be classy and sneak off to the Wavering Wood like all the rest of Watford.” Baz says.

“Fuck off.” Simon says. Baz gives him the middle finger. I go over to Agatha and sit next to her.

“How about we just don’t let him bother us?” Agatha says.

“I agree.”

Agatha and I walk back to our rooms soon after that. The whole time she teases me about catching me kissing Simon.

“Is he a good kisser? I bet he’s a good kisser.” She says as we walk into our room which has stopped smelling of the headache-inducing nail varnish.

“I guess. I don’t really have anything to compare it to.” I say, starting to get changed. I can’t wait to take to off my bra. It’s normal for us to change in front of each other now or maybe neither of us could care less. “Is Baz a good kisser?”

“Baz is good at everything.” Agatha says dreamily. “Okay, let’s talk about how good those boys look.” I groan. “You can’t tell me you don’t think Baz looks hot or even Simon.”

“Ok, yeah, can’t argue. Fair point.” Agatha giggles. “What do you think about Micah?”

“The American?” I nod. “He’s kind of cute if you like geeky-chic.” I nod. I couldn’t put it better myself.

“Can we make a pact?” Agatha asks.

“A pact?”

“Jeez Bunce, for being second from top class, you really aren’t smart about girl stuff.”

“I have three brothers.”

“No excuse.”

“Anyway, this pact?”

“Right. A pact that if either boy breaks the other’s heart, we have to stick together and then kick their asses.” I nod, smiling.

“Of course.”

“Pinky swear?” Agatha asks, putting out her pinky. I laugh, holding out my pinky.

“I swear.” We lock pinky for a couple seconds before Agatha goes to sit on her bed. “But you and Baz are like perfect, you won’t break up.”

“Let’s hope.”

Agatha and I make another deal to become better friends this year. Even with dating Baz, she told me this is her start to becoming her true self who is a strong, independent woman who even though she has a man, does not need one. She said the last thing she wants to be is just the girl who is dating the headmaster’s son. I’m proud of her.

Baz and Simon have been spending an awful lot of time together. I would say I’m jealous, but only because Baz is stealing my favorite study partner away from me. Agatha is okay to study with for short bursts of time, but not for as long as Simon and I normally study together. I miss studying with him. He makes it fun and always makes sure we break for lunch and dinner. I appreciate how he always tries to keep up with me and he’ll ask questions and not just copy off my work like Agatha does. No one gives him credit, but Simon is smart, and he loves school. I wonder if Baz sees that in him as well. I wonder why they’ve become close all the sudden.

Micah keeps trying to insert himself into our friend group, which I understand. But our weekly football games are awkward with him there. Simon always goes hard on him and Baz must’ve played a lot over the summer because he is better than ever. Micah’s sweet and has made some of his own friends, but he always finds it back to us. I would be irritated if he wasn’t as sweet as he is. Simon’s super jealous of him or maybe overly-protective of me in a way where I still feel like I’m not an object up for grabs.

Micah comes home with me for Christmas which does not toot Simon’s horn. At our last football game before break, he made it very clear to beat Micah at all costs. Since I hate all my siblings, Micah and I hang out. We sit in my room while my younger siblings stay up waiting for Santa and my parents desperately trying to get them to bed so they could put the presents under the tree.

“So, you and Snow?” He asks me, distracting me from the movie we are watching. Micah insisted we watch Elf since I’ve never seen it. My parents don’t like me watching movies that aren’t intellectually stimulating.

“Yeah.” I say.

“How long have you been together?”

“Since the beginning of third year.” Micah nods. “We were really close before that.”

“Are you guys properly dating?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh okay.”

“Why are you asking?”

“I’ve just heard some rumors around school about him. I was just making sure you two are actually together.” I think he is lying but I egg him on anyway.

“What rumors?” Our school is small, it’s easy to hear rumors, and I haven’t heard any about Simon that doesn’t concern his magic level.

“That you know… he’s gay or with Baz.” I scoff.

“Baz is with Agatha.”

“I know.”

"Simon is definitely not dating Baz." I say.

"Why?"

"Well, for starters, Baz's parents are super homophobic. They are an old family and would rather die than see their son marry a boy and not continue the family seed."

"Oh shit."

"Yeah… And Simon Snow is definitely not gay.”

“What makes you say that?”

“He’s with me.” I defend. “Who did you hear this from?”

“Dev and Niall.”

“That explains it. Those absolute wankers. They have such problems with their masculinity that they make up stupid rumors about people. It’s so disgusting.” I feel Micah’s eyes on me.

“Why are you even with Snow?”

“Because I like him.”

“But you are so much smarter than him. You deserve someone smart.”

“Simon is smart, incredibly so. People just don’t see that because he is kind of shit at magic and- “

“I like you, Penny… a lot.”

“Micah I…” He pauses the movie, looking at me with determination in his eyes.

“Snow isn’t right for you. Save yourself the heartbreak and kiss me.” He puts his lips on mine. I feel his glasses push up against my glasses. I freeze and then I kiss back.

**Agatha**

Penny comes back to Watford with a glint of worry in her eyes. She slams the door behind her when she comes in. “Agatha, thank Merlin you’re here.” She lies down on my bed next to me.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“Everything. Fucking everything.” I realize then that I’ve never seen Penny cry and I don’t know how to help her as she starts doing so.

“Penny, what happened over holiday?” It makes her cry even harder. I gingerly pat her back, I’ve never been the most in tune with my emotions and I never know how to comfort people.

“I hate boys.” She whines. “Boys are the fucking worst. I hate them and their toxic masculinity and their pettiness and everything.”

“Preach.”

“I thought he was a good guy, you know, but no. No guy is ever good.”

“Do I need to kick Simon’s ass. What did he do?”

“Simon did nothing. It’s Micah!”

“The American?”

“The American!”

“What happened?”

“He kissed me! On Christmas! On the lips! He said Simon isn’t smart enough and it’s not going to end well and that I should save myself the heartbreak. What the fuck does he know? And you would think having like five sisters he would know better. I HATE BOYS!”

“Have you told Simon?”

“He’s going to be so mad at me?”

“Did you kiss Micah back?” She nods. “Did you kiss him again a different day?”

“Maybe…” I gasp.

“What has gotten into you?” She starts crying again. “Did you like it?”

“I guess.”

“Do you like Simon more?”

“Yes.”

“You have to tell him, or the guilt is going to eat you alive. While you do that, I’ll kick Micah’s ass all the way back to America.”

“Thanks, Aggie.” Her crying has finally subsided. “Sorry for being so dramatic.”

“We all are at some point. Some people,” I fake cough. “Baz,” I fake cough again which makes Penny laugh. “more than others.”

“Yeah.”

Then we hear yelling from outside. It’s Baz, yelling up to our room. I go to the window.

“What?” I scream down.

“I need to talk to you and Bunce.”

“Why?”

“Just come out here.” I roll my eyes.

“Fine.”

I drag Penny out of bed, and we go outside. Baz is standing there looking as attractive as ever.

“Your American friend is going all around Mummers saying he kissed you over holiday.” He says to Penny. “Now, I’m not going to judge you, but I need to know. Simon is right angry, and I rather calm him down before he sees you.” Baz says.

“What the fuck, Penny?” Simon says. I sigh. This will be dramatic. He walks right up to Penny, getting right in her face. “I thought we had something going? I thought we were friends on top of all else.”

“He kissed me, Simon. I didn’t want to.”

“He told me you guys went farther than kissing.”

“We didn’t.”

“Do you still want to be together?” Penny hesitates for a split second, but Simon doesn’t let her speak. “Huh?”

“I do. I do still want to be together. I didn’t want to kiss him. I really, really didn’t. I don’t like him like that.”

“Then what do you like him as?”

“A friend, I guess.” Simon is still fuming.

“I love you lots, you know. I didn’t think you would ever do this to me.”

“I love you too. I don’t like him. I like you.” And then right before our eyes, he just explodes. Baz pushes Penny out of the way, the two of them falling to the ground, and I watch my friend blow up with magic.

“It’s happened before. It only lasts a minute or so.” Baz says, still holding Penny on the ground. Then Simon faints. “He’ll wake up soon.” Baz, I don’t know how, picks up Simon and carries him back to Mummer’s House. “I’ll let you know when he wakes up.”

Simon is at dinner that evening. He and Baz sit at a different table as soon as Micah sits down next to Penelope.

“My mom says I’m psychic. So, let me guess, trouble in paradise?” Penny doesn’t respond.

“Micah, please leave us alone. You ruined her relationship.” He scoffs.

“It was doomed from the start.”

“Leave us alone or I’ll kick your ass.”

“Oh, the pretty rich girl is going to kick my ass, I’m so scared. What are you going to do? Hit me with your knock-off designer purse.”

“It’s not a knock-off, first of all. Second, maybe I will hit you with it.” Penny is surprising silent. I wonder if other people are listening in to our conversation.

“I’m a catcher, I’m used to getting hit.”

“I have no idea what that means, mate. But if you don’t leave, you’ll have a big storm coming.” Finally, Micah stands up and goes to sit with Baz and Simon who also reject him, so he goes over to Dev and Niall and they obnoxiously laugh together. “Well, that was liberating. Are you alright?” I ask Penny.

“I’m not hungry anymore.” She says, leaving the Weeping Tower and her half full plate with me.

I walk over with my plate and hers, offering hers to Simon as seconds and maybe as a peace offering.

“May I sit with you guys?” Baz nods, looking at Simon who just shrugs. I sit down.

“Good job back there.” Baz says. I kiss his cheek.

“Thanks. How are you feeling, Simon?”

“Not great.”

“Feel better.”

“Doubt it.”

“Listen, Penny didn’t do anything wrong. It was all that asshole’s fault. I’d hate to see you two break up- “

“She kissed another guy, Agatha.”

“I know, but still.”

“I just can’t believe she would do that. I don’t know if I can forgive her right now.”

“Well, maybe not right now, but soon yeah?”

“I’ll try.”

Penny is the worst to study with right now. She is trying her best to be invested, but she clearly isn’t as much as she used to be. Baz is even giving her his notes to try and help her. She won’t even look at Simon during our shared classes. And it gets to the point where Simon cancels the Friday football match.

It’s raining one day. I see Simon outside, just sitting there, letting the rain wash over him, not anything like that time I saw him dancing like a free spirit in it. I hear him yelling. I think he is crying as well, but it mixes in with the rain. It doesn’t wash away anything.

By the time football season starts, they are still avoiding one another which is hurting our whole group’s dynamic because dating or not, Simon and Penelope are the relationship holding this whole thing together. Merlin knows that Baz and my relationship is dry as a bone. We haven’t spent any time alone this year as I’ve been spending most of my time with Penny, his with Simon. The rare occasions when it is just us, the most action I get is a kiss on the cheek, sometimes a ‘you look nice today.’

Thankfully, Penny comes to her senses like the smart girl she is. I come to the room after my lessons and there is a note on my desk that says: _gone to Mummers to work things out. Expect crying when I return._ I let out a sigh of happiness. Then there is shouting from outside my window. There’s Baz again.

I run downstairs. He’s sweaty from football, his long hair matted to his face. “Hey, love.”

“Love? You never call me love.” I say to him.

“Yeah, well, I’m just happy, I guess.”

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t have to deal with emo Simon anymore. The amount of times I’ve heard I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance is insane.”

“Who’s My Chemical Romance?”

“It’s better you don’t know.” I nod.

“So, they made up?”

“Thankfully.”

“Thank Merlin.” Baz lets out a breathy laugh.

“Is that the only reason you’re happy?”

“Found out I got a hundred on my exams.” I got eighties on most of my exams because my normal study partner was in an emotional crisis.

“Should I expect any less from top boy.”

“I love you, you know that?”

“Romantically or platonically?”

“Whatever way you want it to be.”

“I love you too, Basil.”

Baz kisses me. His sweaty forehead pressing against mine. It feels nice to kiss him on the lips. He puts his arms around me, pulling me closer to his sweaty body. The springtime air floats around us.

“Want to sneak to the Wavering Wood?”

“What has gotten into you?”

“I’m just happy, Agatha. Really fucking happy. I have a gorgeous girl, a no-longer emo best friend, and another smart albeit annoying other friend.”

“I’m glad you’re happy.”

Baz and I go to the Wavering Wood, the premiere snogging spot at Watford. Baz leans up against a tree after telling me a million times that no creature is going to harm us. We kiss for a bit before Baz realizes the time and says he has homework that he needs to do. He walks me back to the Cloisters and wishes me a good night.

Penelope isn’t there when I return, probably making up for lost time with Snow. I don’t really know how long she’s gone, I wouldn’t guess long, but then again, she does have a strong connection with Simon.

Penelope doesn’t return back here. I don’t know where she is or why she didn’t come back. She didn’t even email me to tell me, just straight up didn’t come back. I wish I had access to Mummers like that.

I see her in the morning. She is sitting with Simon, talking happily together. Baz is with them too. I go to their table.

“I’m so happy you are here. Save me from this cheese these two are displaying.” I greet the gang.

“Miss. Bunce, why did you not return back to the Cloisters last night?” I ask.

“Want to announce that any louder?” She rebuttals. “Simon and I were watching a movie and I fell asleep. No biggie.”

“I was worried.” I say.

“Sorry.” She replies.

“They are so annoying cute together. I had to deal with it all night.” Baz, always the overdramatic, states.

“Why aren’t we annoying cute together?” I say.

“Because you aren’t cute together. You two are like the two most gorgeous people at Watford. You’re a power couple.” Simon says, both Baz and I blush.

“Thanks Simon.” I say.

We all go to Greek. I’m so excited to drop it next year. Baz loves it even though he has mastered the language. Micah is annoyingly good at Greek too. It’s like Baz and him compete for who can speak Greek better. I think our teacher gets super annoyed by it. Penny seems to be back on her academic game. I hear her talking to the teacher about extra credit to get her high grade even higher. Even with the emotional turmoil she went through, she still got high marks, I’m jealous.

Speaking of Micah, he’s seemingly left us alone. There is no more drama the rest of year. He insists we keep in touch with him and I hear him say to Penny that if things don’t work out with Simon, which he is certain will not, to call him. As if Penny wants to have a long-distance relationship. Simon looks so relieved when he leaves.

Baz talks with Simon and his parents for a long time. I don’t know what about, but the four of them seem very invested. I want to join, but I don’t know if it’s my place.

My parents arrive all too soon. I interrupt Baz’s conversation to say goodbye to him and Simon before my parents drag me to the car. I don’t like magic very much but do miss Watford over the summers. I take one last look at Baz and Simon as we back out of school. They really did get hotter. I can’t wait to see them next year.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three things:  
> \- Sorry I made Micah mean, but it will all work out.  
> \- Snowbaz is coming, I promise  
> \- Sorry about the inconsistent upload schedule. School is alot right now, but I'm trying to crank these chapters out.


	6. Watford: Year 5

**Simon**

Everything has changed, everything. I know I sound overdramatic, but I’m not. Shit is about to hit the fan because all summer I found myself thinking of Baz, not being able to get him out of my head. Sometimes, when I’m thinking something dumb, I’ll hear his stupid scoff. It makes me miss him.

So, for the first time in history, I miss Baz, not Watford Wizards as a whole, just Baz, not even my girlfriend. Maybe it’s because my parents ask more about him than they do Penelope. No matter how many problems my dad has with Baz’s mum’s reforms, he did admit to me that Baz is “an intelligent, powerful young Mage,” even though we aren’t so young anymore. My mum thinks he’s charming. Baz encompasses all these things.

I find myself having trouble sleeping. I normally have trouble sleeping, but this summer has made it even worse. I miss his energy that is always across the room. Even with Flakes at the foot of my bed and my window cranked open, it’s like something is missing. I stay up a lot of the night, wanting to share all my thoughts to someone, and I start to speak, but realize I’m alone. Last year, I realized that Baz also has trouble sleeping which allowed for many nights of questions about life. I find myself talking more at those times at night than in the morning, maybe my mouth finally communicates with my brain.

I think about last year a lot, especially the time when Penny and I were in a standoff. Baz and I got really close; we would watch movies on the weekends, and he would even play his violin for me. I think about the times when his mother would come in unannounced and yell at Baz, not caring that I was there. It was always about grades and often about courting Agatha as if we were in Pride and Prejudice which has so many good spells by the way, mostly for women, but they are mega powerful. She would go off on him about not getting the perfect hundred. Sometimes, Baz would get really fed up about it. I always wanted to pull him into a hug, but I never did.

Baz calls me once over break with questions about our summer work, mainly if I was going to do it or not. I feel my heart leap in my chest. I don’t know why or what’s changed, but I don’t feel that way when Penny calls me.

Missing Baz isn’t the weirdest thing about my summer. When I find myself being able to sleep, I have dreams about Baz. I dream about us together. I always wake up sweating, but not in a going off way, and my pants are always soiled.

September rolls around and I’m in the car with my parents. They are playing an audiobook in the car from a famous Mage that my dad says members of the Coven have been reading. It’s talking about the insurgence of ‘youth culture’ into spells, mainly meaning vines, which I find funny, now realizing I can legit **yee** t someone out of the room. I’ll have to try that on Baz one day when he leaves his smelly football clothes on the floor.

Baz is in our room when I get to Watford. His long frame taking up most of the bed as he reads. His lip is in between his teeth and his hair is pulled up. He looks at me when the door shuts loudly. I can feel his eyes rake me up and down.

“Hey.” I say, dropping my bags on my bed. A rush of excitement fills me when I see the uniform.

“Hey.” Baz goes back to reading. I can see he is wearing shorts, I’ve never seen him wear shorts, except for football. I can’t wait to see them on him when he stands up.

I don’t know what I am. I don’t know what’s happened. I don’t know how to deal with Penny. What I do know is I think Baz looks hot. He walks ahead of me when we go to picnic. Just like I thought they would, the shorts cup his butt perfectly. He has a nice ass and nice hair, nice everything really.

Penny and Agatha are there. I say hello, kiss Penny on the lips to ground myself, to remind myself I have a girlfriend. It’s nice to kiss her. It doesn’t feel weird. So maybe I’m bi? Both Penny and Agatha have become prettier over the summer, is that objectifying? Anyway, Penny’s dyed her hair a muted red color and she’s grown into her body more, and Agatha looks more sun kissed than usual. Baz seems different, for starters he’s got way more food on his plate than usual, Agatha is scolding him for it. I gorge myself as always, enjoying every bite. Crowley, I love Watford opening picnic.

As soon as the stars come out, Agatha tells us she is going to read the stars to see our horoscopes. I can see Baz rolling his eyes. I sometimes wonder if Baz actually likes Agatha. Penny keeps correcting Agatha’s astrological readings when it gets to her turn. Agatha looks at Penny with an annoyed glance. Then she gets to me. I dropped astrology for an extra math last year, so I don’t know right from wrong.

“Everything will change.” Of course, it will.

“Is that all?”

“Yeah.”

“You gave the other two long horoscopes about their month and I get the vaguest thing on the planet.”

“It has to do with love.” Agatha confirms. I can’t help but look at Baz, who’s contently looking at the stars. Penny hits me in the arm, I look at her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Penny asks. Agatha shrugs.

“Dunno. Guess we’ll have to figure it out, yeah?”

I don’t sleep that night. I roll around a lot and finally get into a position where I’m lying on my side, facing Baz’s bed. The lights are off, but he is still awake. I have no idea what time it is, but Baz is reading using his wand as a flashlight. I don’t know if he can feel me staring. The summer wind blows into our room. I close my eyes trying to listen to the wind to calm me, it doesn’t help. My insomnia is not linked with anxiety per say, I just have an inability to fall asleep. I hear Baz rustling about, I open my eyes. He whispers a spell to turn off the light and puts his wand and his book on his nightstand before heading to the bathroom. He is quietly humming a song, probably thinking I’m fast asleep. He comes back and gets underneath his blankets.

“Goodnight Snow.” He says, rolling to his side so he isn’t facing me. I don’t respond.

I’m awake before Baz like every day. I debate waking him up, but he looks so peaceful. I go to the bathroom to change, using a quick Cover Up spell to get rid of my horrid undereye bags. I go back to the room after I’ve successful spelled the hat to my head. I debate again whether to wake Baz. On a normal day, I wouldn’t, but this is the first day back. I shake his shoulder lightly.

“Fuck off, mate. I’m sleeping.” He says, his normal response.

“Do you want to come to breakfast with me?” He whines, rolling over to be on the side that I’m on. He opens his eyes, sitting up. His hair is half in a bun and the other half is falling out of it. He rubs his eyes. It’s a cute action.

“Do you want me to?” Of course, I want you to. I always want you there.

“I don’t care.” He groans, scooting out of bed.

“Fine.”

I sit on my bed, quickly checking my phone. I don’t find any texts, so I become unamused. I look at the book Baz is reading. It’s the one I was listening to in the car. I wonder what Baz thinks of it. Baz comes out of the bathroom in his uniform, looking as good as ever.

“You ready?” He asks me.

“Yeah.”

We walk to the meeting spot. Penny is already there with Agatha. I’m surprised Penny got Agatha up this early, normally Agatha joins us for breakfast when I’m eating my last scone. We all say our hellos and walk to the Weeping Tower. I see Baz once again eat more food than I’ve seen him eat in one day, maybe I’m rubbing off on him.

I dig myself deep into my studies to try and distract myself. I try and channel all the nervous angry I have around Baz into something else, but all I do is become hostile towards him. I think Penny can sense there is something wrong with me.

“I broke up with her.” Baz says, flopping on his bed one day. He has come back to the room quite late, he is still sweaty from our football match earlier today.

“What?” I feel my heart speed up.

“I broke up with Agatha.”

“Why?” Baz shrugs.

“I never had any time for her. I felt bad.”

“But you guys are end game.”

“End game doesn’t need to happen right now.” He says, grabbing his violin case. I stare at him with a gaped mouth. There he goes, playing songs on his violin as if nothing has happened. I relax listening to him play, looking up from my homework occasionally, to watch him with astonishment.

It is about ten at night when we hear a knock on the door. We don’t even get to say come in before Headmaster Grimm-Pitch barges in. She looks absolutely furious. I could anticipate what is going to happen.

“Tyrannus!” Baz looks up from his book.

“Yes, mother?”

“I have many things to say to you right now.”

“Get on with it then.”

“A 97?”

“Sorry, mum.”

“A 97, Tyrannus. You know this isn’t acceptable.”

“It’s still an A. I’m still top of class.” He argues

“Not for very much longer if you keep your grades at 97’s?”

“I’m sorry, mum.”

“And what were you thinking? Breaking up with Agatha Wellbelove.” Baz looks at his mother intently.

“How’d you know about that?”

“Her mother called in tears. TEARS!” Baz rolls his eyes. “They aren’t coming to the Christmas party anymore. Your whole future is ruined Tyrannus. You don't have your girlfriend, you are getting fat, and your grades are plummeting. Until you can figure your life out, I’m taking this.” She grabs Baz’s violin. He stands up. I can see him getting angry.

“No! No!”

“Sorry, Baz, but no distractions. And you better make peace with Agatha.” She leaves. He slumps down to his bed, his hands covering his eyes. My heart swells as a hear him trying to quiet his sobs. The temptation that has filled me before to hug him fills me again. I decide to act on it, going over to my roommate, and pulling him into my arms, not even bothering to say no homo.

“It’s going to be okay, Baz.” I say. “Getting hundreds on everything is nearly impossible and you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of other people. You are valid. I’ll get you your violin back.”

“How?” He croaks out.

“I dunno. Maybe your mother will give in and give it back.” Baz looks at me, his eyes red, tears still streaming down.

“Have you met my mother? Us Grimm-Pitches are incredibly suborn.” I want to wipe the streaming tears from his face, lean in, and kiss him, but I know he isn’t into that, so I just look at him and let the sadness fill my heart.

“It will be okay, Baz. You just have to carry on.”

My parents tell me on the drive back home that we have been invited to a Christmas party at Baz’s house and we are going to go. I feel excitement pulse through my veins. I would be seeing Baz in a suit, all my dreams coming true.

The drive to his house is long. It’s four hours and I'm stuck wearing a suit the whole way. We listen to Queen, the Beatles, and anything else my parents want me to be exposed to. It is getting to a quiet moment in the drive, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is playing, and I hear my mum singing along. I don’t know what came over me, but I just say.

“I like boys.”

“That’s good because you are one.” My father says.

“I mean… I’m attracted to boys. I’m not gay… well I don’t know, but I think boys are attractive.” I blurt out. My mother turns around in her seat.

“Congratulations, but don’t you have a girlfriend?” My mum says.

“Yeah, I’m still trying to figure that all out.”

“Well thank you for letting us know, Simon.” My dad says.

“Is there anyone who made you feel this way?” My mum asks.

“Baz.” My dad slams on his breaks at the imposing traffic.

“Roommate Baz? The one whose house we are going to right now? The one whose parents don’t let homosexual wizards on the Coven? The one whose-“

“Yes, sadly.”

“Oh, my Rosebud Boy.”

We get to Baz’s huge house and we enter the party. I see Baz, sitting in the living room, wearing a maroon suit. I think I’ve just died and went to magician heaven.

**Baz**

I didn’t want to go home for Christmas. If I could, I would’ve stayed at Watford. I didn’t want to have to spend time with my mother or father. I didn’t want to go to the Christmas party where everyone would be asking where Wellbelove is or how my studies are going. It also gives my mum the chance to gossip all about me. I didn’t want to be alone with no one to kiss under the mistletoe or to dance with. I didn’t want to at all. Sadly, I am forced to go home by my mother. I feel so much stress around her now, I never want to be around her. However, my spirits get lifted when my father tells me the Salisbury family is coming which means Snow.

It doesn’t snow on Christmas, but it pours. While I’m getting ready for the party, I see the rain pouring down my windows. It makes me think of Snow, he must be itching to get out of his car and dance around.

It’s weird to see him. He’s dressed in a suit that doesn’t fit him. He walks up to me while I’m on the sofa and he asks me how I am. It seems so normal, yet so different. His hair is styled a different way, the curls maintained, yet damp from the rain. He is standing in my living room with a suit, that’s new too. I couldn’t help but stare at him and his long, gangly frame.

“Are you hungry?”

“Starving.” He says. I take him to the food. He makes a plate for himself. It’s too much to be socially acceptable at a party like this, but I don’t mention it. We sit back on the sofa. He happily eats the fancy, festive themed food. He nods his head to the Christmas music playing.

“I never thanked you… for getting my violin back. How’d you even do it?” Snow shrugs.

“No problem. I told your mum that if she didn’t give it back, I would go off in her face.” I gasp.

“You’re joking, right?”

“Yeah. I just told her that it was making you sad and you promise to study more. I would make sure of it. She gave it back after that. She said I am a good friend.”

“Well, that’s boring.”

“Sorry.”

“I thought you and Bunce snuck in and did a spy mission to get it.” Snow shakes his head.

“No, sadly, it was far from Mission Impossible.” I laugh. “Do you like Christmas?”

“Sometimes.” I reply. “You?”

“I love it. Every single thing about it.” He looks at me. “Fuck, I love this song.” He puts his plate to the side, standing up, starting to dance. He looks ridiculous, he’s singing loudly to the lyrics, my family is starting to stare at him. I can hear my Aunt Fiona snickering.

“Snow! Snow, stop!” He doesn’t stop. He just continues his puppy dog attitude. I stand up, grabbing his arm, to say stop again. He looks at me. Then I decided if you can’t beat them, join them.

So, I join Snow, I can hear Fiona full on cackling. We are singing along to Michael Bublé and jumping around. I hope my mum isn’t watching, she’ll have my head for acting like this. The song changes to a slower one. Snow goes back to his plate to eat some more.

“Do you know how to waltz?” I ask him. He looks back at me, nodding. “You do?”

“Yeah, my mum taught me when I was young.” He eats a piece of food. “Why? Do you want to waltz with me, Tyrannus?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why?”

“Baz… I like it better.”

“Basil?”

“That’s okay.”

“Do you want to waltz with me, Basil?” I search his face for some hinting that’s all a joke, but I don’t find one.

“Sure, why not?”

He walks over to me, grabbing my right hand and putting his left hand on my waist. I put my hand on his shoulder. He leads and he isn’t half bad at it. Halfway through the song, we switch, and I lead. It’s fun dancing with someone who isn’t Agatha or some drunk relative. Snow barely steps on my feet. I can’t believe he is good at waltzing, as I’ve seen what his other dancing looks like.

The song is over, and he still hasn’t moved from our close position. It feels like we are standing there forever. If I was dancing with Agatha, I would kiss her, and move to resume my position of sitting on the couch. But here I am, with Snow’s hand still on my shoulder. He breaks it first, going to his plate.

“I don’t know this song.” He says. I shake my head, neither do I.

We wait downstairs for a couple more songs. Snow knows one or two of them but doesn’t make quite a show. He just sits on the couch, sipping a glass of non-alcoholic cider, singing the songs. It’s loud enough for me to hear, but not the general public. He has a nice singing voice when he’s trying. Maybe one day I’ll learn a song he knows on violin and he can sing for me.

“Do you maybe want to go upstairs to my room? Get out of your suit, watch a movie, or something?” I ask. He smiles.

“I would love to.”

His bags are in my room as he is sleeping in here tonight. My window blinds are still open, the rain is pouring outside. If I try hard, I can hear the pitter-pattering on the window. Snow rushes to his bag, probably eager to get out of the suit. He finds his pajama bottoms and a ratty shirt. I’ve never seen Snow in regular pajamas. He doesn’t even ask where the bathroom is, just starts stripping, even though we never change in front of one another. I try not to stare. I change as well, not so eager, but is nice to feel the nice material of pajamas instead of a tight suit. Snow sits on the small sofa in my room, the one he would be sleeping on. I sit next to him.

“Your whole room is bigger than my house.” I furrow my eyebrows.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He says. “Do you ever walk in the woods by your house?”

“No.”

“You should. It could be like an adventure.”

“Maybe you’ll come back, and we’ll do it together.” He smiles.

“Alright. But you need to come to Wales to meet Flakes. He’s getting old, you know.”

“I will. I will.” I say. “Do you want to watch a movie?” I ask. He shrugs. I go to my bedside drawer to get the remote and sit on my bed. I load up Netflix. Snow lies on the couch, trying to get in a comfortable position to see the television, which I know isn’t possible. “Want to come over here?”

Snow moves over to my bed. We scroll through Netflix till we find some comedy to watch. It’s raunchy and not Christmassy at all, but it makes Snow laugh so hard I’m scared he’ll wee his pants. His laugh makes me laugh and I have to pause the movie just so we could calm down. I feel light-headed when we finally stop laughing. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that much… ever.

That movie ends and Snow is still as wired as I am. I put on some show that I think we’ve both seen. We watch about four episodes before I see Snow nodding off. I don’t know why I let him stay in my bed. Or maybe I do, because I know it takes Snow forever to fall asleep and I don’t want to cause him pain. I turn off the television and fall asleep soon after I close my eyes.

I wake up in Snow’s arms somehow. His arm is draped over me, I can feel his breath on my neck, and I feel warm from being so close to him. I want to push him off, but I’m so nice and warm. I hear Snow’s little snores escaping his mouth. For once I’m awake before him and unlike himself, I just can’t find it within myself to wake him, so I lie there trying to go back to sleep.

As Snow is waking up, his arms tighten around me. Yet when he fully comes to, I feel his arms leave me, making me cold. I want to tell him to come back, but then I think of how gay that would be and how gay dancing with him last night was. I know my mother can’t see what is happening right now, but I know she’d kill me if she could. She will already probably kill me for last night. I don’t know who I was back then, but it definitely wasn’t me. Snow is rubbing his eyes, trying to wake up.

“Sorry.” He says. “Must’ve done that in my sleep. Sorry.” I nod.

“It’s fine.” I can’t believe that I actually didn’t want to leave his arms, but he is so warm that it makes you feel alright.

My mother surprisingly doesn’t give me a hard time about last night. She doesn’t even mention it, making me think she either didn’t see it or doesn’t want to bring it up. She just says, “You have fun last night?”

To which I responded, “Yeah, lots.”

My Aunt Fiona, who is way more tolerant than my mother, jokes asking me how my boyfriend is. I give her a glare.

I see Snow for the next time when school starts back. I couldn’t be happier to see my best friend. Now that I don’t have Wellbelove by my side, it’s just me and him, as it is back to warring sides once again. He seems happy to see me too, albeit things are a little awkward after the whole ‘waking up in your arms’ debacle.

I study hard, just to make my mum happy. It drains me mentally, but I guess it’s worth it to see that nice 100 on my papers with a smiley face. I think Snow has realized something is going on with me. He always wins our footie matches, we don’t do our weekend movie nights. I try and balance my work with football, but it is all crumpling. Snow urges me to take breaks, I never follow his advice.

Not only does Snow sense something wrong with me, I sense something is wrong with him. Every time I try and ask him about it, he turns defensive. He is probably plotting how to get rid of me or something. Maybe it’s a trouble with Bunce, I see them together a lot, but not like they used to be. I never see Agatha, except during class. She always gives me side glares. I know breaking up with her without a good reason was a dick move, but now I’m glad I did, so I can focus on my work.

My mum seems happier with me this semester. I do well on the football team and get good grades. I’m happy that she is happy with me and I no longer have threats of my violin being taken away, not that I’ve played that much this semester. I think Snow misses it. I think he got used to hearing me play while he studies in our room or when we can’t sleep.

The end of the year is awkward. Wellbelove doesn’t say goodbye to me, Snow gives me a hug that is way too tight, and Bunce just pats my back like sympathy. They all leave, and I’m stuck on the empty Watford campus. It’s always eerie when everyone leaves. It’s like the aftermath of a party, way too quiet. But I finally feel like I can breathe. Sadly, I know this will only last for a little while and I’ll suffocate when school starts again. At least I’ll have Snow at my side. Maybe next year I’ll learn to carry on like he told me to do.

 


	7. Watford: Year 6

**Agatha**

I’m still mad at Baz for breaking up with me. My parents are right pissed about it too. They keep blaming me for letting him get away, when honestly, I have no idea why he broke up with me in the first place. It’s no fair because he got even hotter over the summer. None of this is fair.

The welcome back picnic is awkward as Simon and Penny are still together and I have to spend time with Baz. He tries to be friendly, but it doesn’t go off well. We both rely on Penny to move the conversation which isn’t helpful because she is busy catching up with her boyfriend.

The start of the school year starts with a pile of work which takes a long time to diminish, but at least I don’t have Greek anymore. Penny spends so much of her time in the library with Simon and/or Baz, leaving me alone. It annoys me how I’m always left out because I’m not as smart as them. I remember how close the four of us were in first year, it makes me sad how we all are apart now.

Simon and I are lying on the football pitch. It’s rare that the two of us hang out because he is most of the time spending his time with someone else. But both Baz and Penelope are busy, so we decided to hang out. I have my head on his chest, his arms are around me, his hands playing with my hair. It’s nice to spend time with him, even if it’s just chatting idly.

“Can I tell you something?” Simon says. He’s been jumpy ever since the school term started and I don’t know what’s been going on with him. I nod. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“Not even Penelope.”

“Definitely not Penelope.”

“Okay, on with it now.” I hear Simon take a deep breath.

“I’m gay.” I sit up. He sits up as well.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” I feel the grass against my palms. I look at him. The school’s golden boy is gay.

“I’ve always wanted a gay best friend.” He chuckles.

“Now you’ve got one.”

“How’d you know?” He tilts his head. “You’re gay?”

“I… uh…”

“You don’t have to feel embarrassed.”

“I developed a crush.”

“On who? Someone from our year? Someone from Watford I presume… unless they’re normal.”

“Baz.”

“Baz?” I say. “Is that why he broke up with me. Are you guys-“ It all makes sense; the sudden closeness of Simon and Baz, Simon’s jitteriness. 

“No. I wish though. I mean I wish we were together, not that he broke up with you because of me.” And then something else clicks in my head.

“Crowley, have you broken up with Penny?” He shakes his head.

“I don’t know how to.” He says. “She’s going to hate me.”

“No, she won’t. You are her best friend, Simon. You can’t help how you feel. She’ll be happy for you.” He smiles sadly. “Does Baz know?” He shakes his head.

“You’re the first one I’ve told other than my parents.” My heart leaps in my chest.

“I’m honored.”

“I’m scared to tell Baz.” Simon admits.

“Why?”

“His parents are homophobic. I don’t know his views.” He takes a deep breath.

“Right.” I say. “I don’t think Baz is the most okay with the issue.”

“Oh, great.” He’s starting to pick out grass now. “Why did I have to get a crush on him of all people?”

“Because he’s fit.” Simon sighs, lying down on the grass.

“So fucking fit.” I giggle, resuming my position on his chest. “Is he a good boyfriend?” I shrug.

“Sometimes. He’s sweet and cares about what you want, but sometimes he feels so far away. At least that’s my experience.”

“Is he a good kisser? I bet he is.”

“Simon, you have no idea.” He groans, throwing his arms over his eyes.

“It’s not fair. How can a person be so fit and be so smart? How? I don’t think he is real. I think he is a god.”

“It’s not just kissing that’s he’s good at either.”

“Are you trying to kill me?”

“Both you and Baz are so overdramatic. I think it’s destiny.” He laughs. “How long have you had this crush?”

“Since last summer.”

“SIMON!” I gently hit his arm.

“I’ll tell him one day.”

“You have to tell him soon and you have to break up with Penny even sooner.”

“I know. I know.”

“Isn’t the crush eating you alive?”

“You have no idea. At least you didn’t live with him. I have to share my room with him. It’s torture.” I laugh. “Sorry, I keep talking about him. It must not be easy to hear your guy friend ask about your ex.”

“It’s fine, Simon.”

“Are you over him?”

“Yeah, but I’m angry that he broke up with me for no reason.” He nods. “Do you know why he did it?”

“He just told me he felt bad that he never spent any time with you.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I wish you luck with him.”

“Thanks.” He puts his arms around me. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“You aren’t going to tell anyone, right?”

“I would never.”

“Thanks.”

I think the whole situation, of me being the only one that knows of Simon’s secret and him being into Baz, has brought us closer. Sometimes, if we are in class or at meals, he’ll sit next to me, telling me all the guys he finds fit and asks my opinion. He then proceeds to try and get me to ask them out. Most of the guys, I agree with Simon, are fit, but most of the time I know they are dicks and don’t ask them out. Simon doesn’t seem to realize that sometimes boys only ask me out for my money or to have sex with me, it’s not for the type of relationship I had with Baz.

Penny is painfully oblivious. I think Baz is the same. I can see Simon staring dreamily at Baz sometimes. He stares at him like he is in love. It’s the type of look I see Penny give Simon. It hurts me to know the truth. Penny will hang on Simon and he’ll kiss her cheek. I don’t know what Simon is waiting for, wouldn’t it be better to just rip off the plaster. Baz, on the other hand, just acts like Simon is his best friend.

Every day, I can see a little more that they would be the perfect couple. They are both fit, so if it was physically possible, they would have very pretty babies. Baz is just a little taller than Simon, so they would look good standing next to one another. They already have a good friendship to base things off of, Simon told me once they watch movies together when they have time. Plus, they have already lived together for six years, so moving in together wouldn’t be any different. They are both smart in different areas. Simon’s chirpy and positive, Baz’s cold and cynical. They really would be a great couple. I can’t help but wish for a relationship like that.

I desperately want to ask Penny how she thinks her relationship with Simon is going, but I’m scared that I’ll accidently let something slip, so I don’t mention anything. I just hope that one day she’ll come in to the room crying about Simon breaking up with her. I know that sounds mean, but I’m only caring for her. I pester Simon most days to do it already. He says he isn’t ready, like he’ll lose Penny which would never happen because like Simon, she is fiercely loyal.

It’s nearing on Christmas. My parents said they are going to Baz’s family’s Christmas party and I could choose whether to go. I text Simon asking him if he was going. He says yes. I decide to go, no matter how awkward it will be. I text Baz, asking if I could invite Penny. He says I could as long as it was just her. Penny is ecstatic to be invited.

We pick her up before we go to Baz’s house. She is wearing a very pretty red dress and her hair is done up nicely. We chat amicably until we get to the party. Simon is already there. Both the boys look amazing. Simon is wearing a standard tux while Baz is wearing a flowered suit. Once Simon sees us, he comes over, kissing both our cheeks and tells us that we look beautiful. I see Penny’s eyes light up seeing Simon in a suit. Baz saunters over later, giving me and Penny a hug.

“Baz! This is my song.” Simon says, running back to the lounge. I hear Baz sigh.

“Not again, Simon.” I feel like I’m missing something, but then I see Simon jumping up and down like he is at a club, screaming the lyrics to Rocking Around the Christmas Tree. My mouth drops a little. Simon really has no idea how to act at this party. “He did this last year too.” I didn’t know Simon was here last year.

Baz walks over to Simon, trying to get him to stop. “You danced with me last year. C’mon Baz, you know you want to.” That’s a surprise. The only dance that Baz did with me was a waltz.

Baz takes a deep breath and starts singing along with Simon. I can’t believe how bad manners Baz is showing right now, but Penny is amused. I’m surprised no one has told them to stop. Then a new song starts, Simon has already started singing it when Penny goes to join in. Simon grabs Penny’s hands and they jump up and down together. Then, Simon realizes Baz is left out and opens their jumping to him. They all jump around together. Simon tries to get me to come over, but I wouldn’t be caught dead showing such bad etiquette.

Simon leaves Baz and Penny to jump around to talk to me. “You alright?” He asks, breathing heavily.

“You know it’s not that type of party. You are supposed to talk not jump around.”

“Loosen up. Nobody cares.”

“You can’t just act like that at a high-class party Simon. I’m surprised Baz hasn’t corrected you.”

“Maybe Baz is trying to have fun.” He is still jumping around with Penny.

“I guess.”

“C’mon Agatha. Just have fun.”

Simon drags me to the rest of the Watford Wizards. We all jump around until the next song comes on. It’s slow and Simon grabs Penny for a dance. I can see Baz staring at Simon like he was expecting him to do something else.

“Penny, do you want to dance with me?” Simon says to his girlfriend.

“I don’t know how.”

“I’ll teach you.” Simon is a good dancer. He keeps rhythm well and seems to not be standing on anyone’s toes. However, Penny is atrocious. She keeps stepping on his toes and losing the beat. I keep expecting Baz to ask me to dance, but he doesn’t.

The next song is also slow and to my surprise, Baz asks Simon for a dance, leaving me with Penny. I feel jealously build up inside me, but they look so nice dancing together. Simon leads them and they dance beautifully around the lounge. Penny and I try to dance but it doesn’t look right.

After the song, Penny asks Baz where she can get some water. He takes her out of the room. “Are you going to break up with Penny tonight?”

“On Christmas?” Simon asks. “I could never.”

“Fine. Are you going to tell Baz tonight?”

“If the moment finds itself. Though, I am sleeping over and I don’t want things to be awkward.”

“You’re sleeping over?”

“Yeah. Are you?”

“No, I have a show tomorrow.”

“Oh, good luck.”

The rest of the night, I can’t help but stare at Simon and Baz. I’m desperate to know everything that happened at Christmas last year. I’m desperate for Simon to come out. I’m desperate for them to finally get together, so then my jealously will dissipate. We go home earlier, dropping Penny off on the way, and I try to sleep, but I can’t, knowing that Simon and Baz are together, yet Baz is oblivious. 

**Penny**

Simon comes up to me in the library. He looks nervous. He’s been nervous since we came back from winter holiday, which has been a whole month, but refuses to tell me what is going on. He sits down and looks at the work I’m doing.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Can it wait? I’m deep in poetry right now.”

“Is it for a class?” I shake my head. “Please come outside with me. I need to tell you something.”

“It’s cold outside.”

“Mummer’s House? Fuck, no, not there. Um, tea? It will give you a break from…” He stands up, looking to see whose poetry I’m deep into. “Emily Dickinson.” I roll my eyes.

“Fine.” I get on my coat, gathering my stuff into my school bag, and we walk to the Weeping Tower. Simon’s hand in mine, swiftly dragging me along. I hate being outside when it’s cold and he knows it.

We both get tea, Simon gets a few scones, but unlike usual, he doesn’t eat them right away, letting them go cold. At that moment, I knew there is something desperately wrong.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“I… you are going to hate me.” He says, looking down at the table. I put my hand of his shoulder, he flinches away.

“I could never.” He takes a deep breath, looking at me with tearful eyes.

“We have to break up.” He says.

“What? Why?” I feel on the verge of tears now. He covers his eyes with his hands.

“I’m gay.”

“You’re gay?” I can hear Simon crying, he’s nodding. I don’t know what to do. “But we did things...”

“I know.”

“Did I make you realize you didn’t like girls?”

“No! No! No! Penny, don’t. It’s not like that. I love you. I just... I don’t know… started thinking about boys in a different way.”

“How long have you known?”

“Since summer before fifth year.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?” He looks up at me. The sight of his red eyes makes tear droplets fall from my eyes.

“I just thought I was bi. I didn’t think anything of it, but going into this year, I just realized… I like guys. Well, guy.”

“Who?”

“Baz.”

“Oh my.”

“But he doesn’t like me like that. Well, I don’t think he does.”

“Why didn’t you break up with me at the beginning of term?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you or lose you. Also, I didn’t know your views. I didn’t want you to hate me.”

“Simon, my brother is gay.” Simon’s mouth falls open.

“Which one?”

“Pacey. Premal’s bi.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t really have a reason to.” I’m still crying, but it really isn’t sad tears. “You could never lose me, Simon. Yeah, I’m kind of hurt, but mostly mad you didn’t break up with me sooner. And yeah, breaking up with you kind of hurts. But I love you and I support you. I hope things work out with you and Baz.” Simon smiles, pulling me into a hug.

“I love you so much, Penny. Someone is going to be so lucky to have you as a partner. You are smart, beautiful, and wonderful. Thank you for supporting me. I’m so sorry for not telling you.” I let myself soak in the warmness of the hug, before letting go, ruffling his hair.

“Does anyone else know?”

“Agatha, my parents.”

“You told Agatha before me? You are going to die.”

“Sorry. I needed help. I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“So, your crush doesn’t know.” Simon shakes his head.

“I don’t know how.”

“You’ll figure it out.” Simon picks at a scone, shoving a piece into his mouth.

“It’s cold!” He whines

“There’s my Simon.”

He walks me to the Cloisters. I desperately need to talk to Agatha about this. He gives me another hug before letting me walk inside. As soon as I step into my room, I let the real tears fall. Agatha’s there, watching something on her laptop.

“Do I need to kick Simon’s ass?” I nod. “Aw, babe, come here.”

“I can’t believe he’s gay.” I say, walking over to Agatha, who wraps her arms around me. “We did things last year, Agatha.”

“How far did you guys go?”

“We kissed a lot. He touched my boobs once, I touched his _you know_ , I saw it too.” Agatha gasps.

“Over or under your shirt?” I hit Agatha’s arm. “Sorry, I just want to know how serious it was.”

“We were both shirtless and trouser less. He took off my bra and y’know.”

“Naughty, naughty girl.”

“I bet you’ve done worse.”

“I mean, you aren’t wrong.” I look at her. “Baz and I went all the way.”

“No way, when?”

“Before he broke up with me.”

“Oh. Like right before?”

“I mean we did it before summer holiday and then a couple minutes after that dick was like I have practice. He went to practice, and we were together for the rest of term and when we came back from holiday, he said, ‘uh, I think we have to break up.’ Snobby pretentious asshole. Sorry, we are supposed to be trash talking Simon, I mean he-who-shall-not-be-named.”

“Can you paint my nails?” Agatha gets up, grabbing the different nail varnishes.

“What color?”

“The pale pink.”

“Good choice.”

“Crowley! Micah was right.”

“What do you mean?” Agatha says, coming back over to the bed, shaking the nail varnish bottle.

“He said that Simon was gay, and he is with Baz. He said he was psychic. He legit told me save the heartbreak.” Agatha starts laughing.

“Only you would be stuck in this situation.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I say as Agatha starts painting my nails. The smell starts ruminating around the room.

“It’s just funny is all.”

“Do you think Baz and Simon will get together?” Agatha shrugs.

“I don’t know. I think they would be a cute couple.”

“They would be so powerful.”

“Yeah.”

“They could probably use **on love’s light wings** and have it work.” Agatha nods. “I’m kind of jealous.”

“Bitch, me too.”

“Why do all the cute boys have to be gay?”

“I know right.”

“And all the nice ones too.”

“Don’t get me started.”

“And Simon and I were so good together. He was the perfect guy for me and he’s gay.”

“At least that’s a better reason than ‘I had no time to spend with you.’”

“Yeah.” Agatha is now switching hands. “Do you think things will change between Simon and me.”

“Probably. It might be awkward.”

“Just great.”

“But you two are friends above anything else. I think Simon needs you more than ever right now.”

“And I need him too.”

“Exactly. And now you two can talk about what boys you think are fit. That’s what we do.”

“Is Baz Simon’s type?” I ask.

“Definitely not. I don’t know what Simon sees in him.”

“I’ll ask him for you.”

“Thanks.” Agatha is doing the second coat now.

“He was the only boy to ever call me pretty.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. If you can’t tell I’m not the skinniest person.”

“Still. No boy has ever called you pretty?”

“My dad and my brothers, but they don’t count.”

“I don’t think chub makes any person less attractive. It’s really what’s on the inside."

“That’s good.”

“Don’t move now, your fingers need to dry.” I nod. “Are you going to be okay?” She asks me.

“Yeah. I’m going to try and be happy for Simon above anything else.”

“Good on you.”

“Why should I spend my time being angry at him when it is something he can’t help.”

“Exactly.”

“Thanks for being here for me.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“I’m so happy you are my roommate.”

“Same.”

I go to dinner that night and sit with Simon. Agatha was right. He points to me all the guys he thinks are hot and none of them are remotely like Baz. Maybe Baz is the exception to his type.

The rest of the year, Agatha and I inch Simon on to come out to Baz. He keeps saying it isn’t time, but he’s had this crush for almost two years and it’s only getting worse. Simon complains to Agatha and me constantly about it.

After exams, I get a frantic text from Agatha saying that she found Simon crying. I find them on the football pitch. It’s a Friday, meaning we are meant to have the football match soon.

“I can’t deal with it anymore.”

“Then why don’t you tell him.”

“There is no way he’ll accept me.”

“Maybe he is secretly gay and is only waiting for you to kiss him.” I say.

“What kind of YA crap is that?”

“Simon, you just have to put yourself out there.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know, but sometimes, you need to take a leap of faith.” Simon takes a deep breath.

“Thanks for helping guys.”

“No problem.” I say.

“We love you, Simon.” Agatha says. We both hug him.

“How’d you manage to get two girls?” Baz says, walking over to us, with his football under his arm. “Who’s ready for an intense match of footie?” Simon breaks up the hug, standing up, wiping his eyes.

“I am.”

It’s an intense game with so much tension filling the air. I start playing, but Simon and Baz really seem to want to have an intense game, so I surrender. They are really going after one another for the ball. Baz ends up winning in the end after a close game. Simon looks tired and defeated.

“Nice game, Snow.”

“Thanks, you too.”

“Gotta keep up my physique since football season is over.” Baz says.

“Of course.” I say.

“I have to go finish homework. Bye guys.” Baz says, walking off. I turn to Simon.

“You alright?” He plops down next to me.

“That was tiring.”

“Now you can go eat as many scones as you want.” He looks up at me, smiling. “I just wanted to let you know… Pacey looks up to you. I told him that you are gay, and he is really happy to know he has someone else at Watford who’s like him.”

“I’m happy that he’s happy.”

“I figured. If you want my siblings, you can have them.”

“Thanks for the transaction.”

In the morning, walking into the dining hall, I lose Simon. He walks over to my younger brother, patting him on the back. I walk over to them. “-just know if you need to talk to anyone or if you just want someone to gush over guys to, I’m here for you. Come find me any time, yeah?” I’ve never seen Pacey smile so big.

Simon walks back over to me and we get breakfast, sitting at our usual table. “That was really sweet.”

“What can I say? I’m a nice guy.” I scoff.

“Oh, shut up.”

“What? I can’t hear you over all the niceness.”

“You are worse than my brothers.” He sticks his tongue out at me. Baz comes to sit with us, and the conversation turns to our impending lessons.

I think being friends with Simon isn’t much different than being with him romantically. He still cares about me implicitly and makes stupid jokes. It’s just that I’m not kissing his lips anymore or snogging him on the football pitch. He still holds my hand and gives me way too long hugs, but that’s Simon.

A part of me expected for him and Baz to be together by the end of the year; that they would be kissing each other goodbye and doing anything to not have to leave one another, like what used to happen when Simon and I were dating. However, none of that happens. They give each other a quick hug, then he gives one to Agatha, and then one to me.

“I don’t think I could ever thank you for being so open. I love you.” He says.

“I love you too.”

“Stay in touch.”

“Of course.”

“I’m going to do it next term.” He says.

“Good.” He lets go of the hug.

“I have to leave now.”

“Alright.” He walks off. I guess this is another thing I will never understand about Simon Snow; how he can just wait forever to profess his love.


	8. Watford: Year 7

Baz

It’s a nice day outside, so I urge Snow to come outside with me. It’s a Saturday and it’s probably the last warmish day before it becomes too cold to be outside. There are a good number of students basking in the early winter weather. We find a patch of unattended grass and sit down. I put my violin case on the ground, taking out the instrument and bow. I do my usual before playing routine, before transitioning into playing position. I start to play a Kishi Bashi song, one I spent most of my summer and into the school year perfecting. Snow must be sick of hearing it, but he just closes his eyes, listening intently as if he has never heard it before.

The next song I play is one I learned just for Snow. I know he loves this song and seeing a smile erupt on his face when I play the first few notes make my day. He starts singing in his sweet singing voice. During a break in the song, Simon remarks, “I love this song.” I nod, ending the instrumental bit of it. He starts singing again. The air is blowing my hair back, I feel like I’m in a music video. At the end of the song, I hear the applause of some students walking by, making Snow blush.

I play two more songs before deciding on a break. I put everything back in the case, securing it shut. Snow looks at me. The silence in the air is daunting. Snow is biting his thumb, a nervous tic of his. I only noticed it this year, he’s been particularly nervous this year. He basically avoided me the first month or two of term, maybe he is plotting against me.

I start to play again, not being able to deal with the silence anymore. I’m in the middle of a classical song when Snow just blurts out, “I’m gay.” I keep playing, mainly out of shock and my inability to stop a song halfway through. “Baz? Did you hear me?” I don’t stop playing. He huffs. He stands up because I am. He puts his hand on my wrist, forcing me to stop playing. He’s looking up at me, desperate for my eye contact. Then, he places his lips on mine. It’s awkward as I’m still holding up my violin.

“Basiltion?” My mother calls out. Shit. I push off Snow the best I can. “Basiltion?” She comes over to me, grabbing my arm, dragging me away from Snow. She drags me all the way to her office. I couldn’t remember the last time I was here.

“You finally learned my name.”

“Are you a homosexual?” She’s still gripping my arm. It’s starting to hurt and I’m still holding my violin.

“No! He kissed me. He’s never done that before.”

“Liar.”

“No! No! I’m not lying, I swear. I didn’t even kiss him back.”

“Did you want to?”

“Want to what?”

“Kiss him back. Did you want to kiss that boy back?”

“I dunno.”

“Tyrannus, I don’t think I can be supportive of you being gay.”

“I’m not.”

“You just kissed a boy.”

“He kissed me. Simon’s the gay one.”

“He’s gay? You have a gay roommate?”

“Apparently.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He just told me before he kissed me.”

“So, he likes you.”

“I guess.”

“Do you like him?”

“Yeah, I mean he is my best friend.” My mum raises her eyebrows. “It isn’t like that.”

“You can’t come home for Christmas. Maybe you should go spend it with your boyfriend.”

“He isn’t my boyfriend.”

“I’m going to ask you one more time, Tyrannus, and you better give me a real answer. Are you gay?”

“I really don’t know.”

“Do you find men attractive?”

“Crowley, I don’t know.”

“You know, it all makes sense. Leaving a perfect girl like Agatha.”

“It isn’t like that.” She lets go of my arm.

“Goodbye Tyrannus.”

“Mum,”

“No, I told you I cannot be supportive. Come back when you’ve come to your senses and are ready to get back with Agatha.”

“Fine, if it will show you, I’m not gay.”

“First it was the name changing-“

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Then the 97, then the breaking up with Agatha, and the eating more. Is this your way of rebelling?”

“It isn’t rebelling, it’s living my life.”

“Then go live it, Baz.” She spits. She’s never called me Baz before. I feel tears welling up.

“Fine! I’ll just go and spend Christmas alone and never talk to you again.” I say. “And for the record, I did not want that kiss.”

“Goodbye Baz.” I storm off, no amount of violin playing could help me now.

Snow isn’t where I left him, so I go to our room. There he is, lying on his bed, my violin case on my bed. He stands up. “Are you okay? I was worried sick.” I put my violin away, completely ignoring him. “Baz?” He says, I hear him get up off his bed. He puts his hand on my arm. I turn to him, pushing his hand off me.

“Fuck you.” I say, harshly. He just stands there, his big puppy dog eyes all huge and full of hurt. “You ruin everything. I finally got my mum off my tail and then you kiss me. What the fuck! My mum, who is homophobic, now thinks I’m gay and told me I can’t come home for Christmas. So, thanks for that. I hate you so much. I wish you were never my roommate.” Snow is trying to act strong, even though I know he really wants to cry.

“Baz,” He starts

“What?” I cut him off.

“I’m sorry.”

“Not going to help, Snow.”

“Come home with me for Christmas.”

“No fucking way am I spending Christmas with the guy who ruined my life.”

“Fine, it’s not about me then. Come home with me for Christmas for… for Flakes.” We lock eyes. “You’ll finally get to meet him.”

“I hate you with everything in my body.”

“I know.”

“And you aren’t mad about that? You aren’t going to go off in my face?”

“I would do everything before I would go off in your face.”

“Why? I’m being mean to you.”

“Because I don’t want to hurt you or cause you pain. You are my best friend, but if you just want to throw seven years of late-night existential conversations and football matches out the window because of one homophobic person and one kiss, then fine. We will spend the rest of the year and maybe next year in tense silence and hatred.”

“Why’d you kiss me?”

“Because I’ve had a crush on you for two years and it was eating me alive.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah.” He says. “Are you homophobic?” I sit down on my bed, done with prolonged eye contact and the intensity of everything. I shrug.

“I’m just not used to it, I guess. My parents are properly against it.”

“It makes you uncomfortable, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I sit next to you?” I nod. He sits next to me.

“Did I make you… gay?” Snow nods. “Oh. How?”

“It was summer before fifth year and I couldn’t stop thinking about you; about our relationship, how fit you are, about your violin playing.”

“Oh.”

“I’m really sorry I kissed you. It was uncalled for.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“I should’ve at least asked first.”

Then I kiss him. Snow lets out a surprised squeak. His lips are warm like the rest of him. Kissing him is magic. It’s like every time our lips touch, our magic mingles, and we become one powerful mage. He puts his arms around me, and I feel encompassed by everything Snow. He stops kissing me, staring into my eyes.

“You really hurt my feelings before.” He says. He stopped kissing me to say the obvious truth.

“I’m sorry. I’m glad you are my roommate and I’m glad you are my best friend.”

“And I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable.”

“It does, a bit.”

“And I’m sorry that you can’t go home for Christmas.”

“I’ll spend it with you.”

“What is this?”

“Whatever you want it to be.”

“Not a good answer.”

“Friends with benefits?” Snow huffs. “I’m still figuring out why I like this, Simon. What do you want?”

“I want you to be my boyfriend.” I cringe. “Wait… you called me Simon.”

“Did I?”

“You never call me Simon.”

“I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Can we call it something else?”

“Our relationship?”

“Yeah, instead of boyfriend… how about ‘our relationship is none of anyone’s fucking business.’” Snow laughs.

“Except maybe Penny and Agatha?”

“We can be boyfriends around them, but maybe let’s wait a little before telling them.” Snow nods.

“Do you really want to be with me?”

“I think the fact that I want to kiss you right now answers that.” Snow smiles.

We kiss. I feel overcome by magic. I wonder if this is how Snow feels when he goes off. Snow’s arms around me tighten and I’ve never felt like the center of someone’s universe before, but I love the feeling. Snow’s lips pull off mine. He’s smile is so fucking big.

“Live up to your fantasies?”

“Shut up.”

“Why’d you stop kissing me?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Does that really overpower the want to kiss me?” I ask before realizing how stupid that sounds. Snow gives me a condescending glare. “That was a stupid question.”

We don’t tell Wellbelove or Bunce at dinner about the new change in our relationship. I think we do a pretty good job at hiding it, however we both stare at each other quite a bit. Snow looks good; his curls are very fluffy today and sit perfectly on top of his head and his eyes are shining. He is wearing a Sherpa denim jacket and a white shirt under it. He looks really good.

We walk back to Mummers, Snow grabs my hand discreetly. I let it go. “I’m scared my mum will see.” He nods.

“I get it.” I don’t think he does. “I need to call my parents when we get back to tell them you are joining us for Christmas.” I nod.

Snow calls his parents, not explaining the situation, just saying that I want to spend Christmas with Snow. They agree. “You’ll finally meet my dog.”

“Can’t wait.”

Snow is a really good boyfriend or maybe he isn’t, and I don’t know any better. Then again, nothing has really changed, except now we kiss. What I realize about Snow is that he’s so protective. He always wants to hold my hand, especially if I see my mum. He says that one day he’ll kiss me in front of her, just to piss her off. The fact that our relationship is going so well makes me excited to have Christmas with him.

Bunce and Wellbelove are right confused when we both walk off to Snow’s parents’ car together. I see it on their faces. We still haven’t told them about us. I don’t know if it’s obvious that we are a couple, but knowing them two, they’ve figured it out.

Snow’s parents are so ecstatic that I’m spending Christmas with them. They are incredibly into the festive season and for once I’m excited for Christmas. The drive is long. Snow always complains about it, but I never truly realized how long it is. It consists of a lot of singing, questions about school, and politics. Snow talks a lot of the way. He seems to be perfectly fine talking to his parents.

I’m incredibly antsy when we get to Salisbury family cottage in the middle of nowhere Wales. Snow seems different from the minute he steps out of the car. I don’t know what it is, but he just seems like he can finally relax. We get our bags from the boot before we walk inside. The first thing I notice is a small thing running up to me.

“Baz meet Flakes, the family corgi.” My whole face melts.

“I think I’m in love.” I squat down to pet the dog. I think I’ve always secretly wanted a dog, but my parents never allowed it.

“You already like him more than me.”

“He is wearing an elf costume, of course I like him more than you.”

“You got a thing for elves, Basil?”

“No but look at how cute he looks.”

“Can you two please move out of the doorway, please?” Mrs. Salisbury asks. I nod, moving more into the house. Snow was right, it is small, but definitely bigger than my room.

“You didn’t decorate the tree?” Snow asks.

“Well, since we are staying in for Christmas, we figured we would wait. It makes you so happy to do it.” His dad says. Snow smiles. I look at the bare tree in the living room.

“How about you show Baz your room while mum and I go get dinner. We were thinking Indian. Sorry Baz, we normally cook, but we got home late.” His mum suggests.

“It’s fine, Mr. and Mrs. Salisbury.”

I follow Snow with my bags to his room. It’s strangely empty, as if he never lived here at all. I guess my room feels the same way. He drops his bags on the floor, starting to unpack.

“We have to share the bed. We don’t have a guest room. Sorry.” He says, putting his laptop on the desk. I drop my stuff on the ground, like Snow did previously. I walk over to his bookshelf, eyeing the different books there.

“What’s the Greatest Mage to Ever Live?”

“It’s a book my dad wrote during his last year at Watford. He used to be obsessed with the Chosen One prophecy. I don’t know, he used to read it to me as a kid.”

“Hm.” I walk over to Snow’s closet, looking inside. A couple items of clothing are hung up, clothing he didn’t take to Watford. I see a suit and some nice shirts as well as a few pairs of brightly colored trousers. I desperately want to see Snow in them.

Simon

It’s weird to have Baz in my house. It’s weird to have him decorating the tree, eating dinner at my dining table, sitting on my bed. It’s weird to have his clothes in my drawer and see him petting my dog. All of it is fucking weird, especially as my parents are waiting, just waiting, for me to tell them that we’re dating. They’ve been staring at us all night.

Baz is off showering which means it is prime intervention time. “You and Baz seem close.”

“Mum, don’t even start, we are dating alright?”

“Oh…”

“Good for you, Simon. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” My dad says.

“Simon, do we need to have a talk about-“ My mum says.

“No, no, no. I promise I’ll be safe, Mum. Let’s drop it.”

“Alright. Just checking.” My mum says, ruffling my hair. “You two are just adorable together. Remember when we first started dating, Davy? It was spring, the spring of our seventh year. You were on the football team.”

“Yes, and you were on the lacrosse team.” My parents never talk about their time at Watford, maybe Baz needs to come here more often. “You were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. You still are.”

“Ew, gross.”

“Stop it, Simon. We’ve had to deal with your glances at Baz all night.”

“Not the same, Mum.”

Baz returns from his shower with his wet hair pulled into a bun, flannel pajama bottoms which I’m sure are mine, and a Friends shirt which is definitely mine. He sits in the chair next to me. “I told them.” I say, grabbing his hand.

“Don’t hurt my son.” My dad says, I give him a look.

“Not planning on it, sir.”

“Good.”

“Mum, what game are we playing tonight?”

“Clue?” I nod. I look to Baz.

“The first night I get back, we always have family game night.” Baz smiles.

“That’s nice.”

My mum sets up the game. We start to play. Baz wins. Baz is just a master at everything he does. We play again and I win. By that point, I’m right tired. I drag Baz to my room even though he was totally up for a game of Scrabble.

We both lie down on my bed. It’s a little tight for both of us, but I don’t care. We are facing each other. “I’m so happy you’re here.” I admit.

“Thanks for inviting me. It’s not even Christmas and it’s honestly the best holiday I’ve ever had.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m not. My family doesn’t do things like that. I spend all my time alone which is fine.”

“But…”

“I just, I don’t know. It’s nice to have a change.” I kiss his lips quickly. I still can’t believe I can do that now.

“I’m tired.” I say.

“Same.”

“Let’s go brush our teeth and then we can sleep.”

“Or try to.”

We brush our teeth and take turns using the toilet before climbing into bed. Surprisingly, we don’t cuddle in one bed back at Watford. I think Baz is scared someone will burst in and see. We only do it if we are watching a movie, but the other retreats to their own bed to sleep. Sleeping in the same bed reminds me of Christmas. How in year five Baz woke up in my arms and we never mentioned it. The next year, I slept on the couch.

I don’t know whether to hold Baz, so I don’t. We lie facing away from each other. My parents come in to say goodnight and Flakes assumes his position at the foot of my bed.

“Simon,”

“Yeah.”

“Do you remember Christmas two years ago when you held me?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you maybe want to…um…”

“Is Tyrannus a cuddler?”

“I told you not to call me that.” He says. “But maybe I am.” I turn around and put my arms around his torso. I hitch my legs over his.

“This okay?” I whisper in his ear.

“Yeah.” He turns around so we are facing each other. “Perfect.”

I think Baz falls asleep quite quickly. I wish I could, but I am stuck in a state of insomnia. I could tell tonight would probably be a bad night. I try to focus on Baz’s even breathing, how there is another being in my arms, how this being is my boyfriend who has his head on my chest. I think about the rest of break and Christmas. It brings me a little closer to sleep. I tighten my grip around Baz, and I fall asleep.

I wake up before Baz as I usual do. I didn’t sleep well at all, but at least Baz is. Flakes has left the foot of the bed, meaning he is probably out on a walk or eating. Baz has my shirt gripped in his hands, his head on my chest. He looks adorable. I wish his hair was down so I could run my fingers through it. I wonder if he would wake up if I took it out of the bun. I press my lips to his head. I like this. I like having no worries about people finding us.

Then Baz wakes up. He looks a little disoriented, but then he looks up at me. “Hello.” I say softly.

“Have you been up long?”

“No.” He lets go of my shirt, moving away from me to stretch his long arms.

“What are we doing today?”

“Nothing unless you want to go into town. I need to do my Christmas shopping, but I was thinking of doing that tomorrow.” Baz snuggles back onto my chest.

“Good. I don’t want to move from this spot for a good half an hour.”

“Sounds good.”

We both involuntarily get up for breakfast. My mum makes her famous scones that in my opinion battle Watford for top spot. Baz seems to like them too. Then I insist on getting back to bed no matter how unhealthy mum says it is. Baz climbs back into my arms and I pull the hair tie from his hair.

“Ow.” I frown.

“Sorry.” I say, running my fingers through his silky-smooth hair.

“That feels nice.”

“I’m glad.”

“Your bed is comfy.”

“I think any bed is better than the ones at Watford.”

“Did you sleep alright?”

“No, but it’s okay. You?”

“I’m slept great.”

“Good.”

“Are we going to stay here all day?”

“That’s the plan.” I say, kissing his head.

“Has anyone ever told you how warm you are? You’re like a personal heater.”

“Thanks?”

“It’s definitely a compliment, love.” Baz says, making me blush. He turns around and kisses my lips.

We spend the whole day in bed. We take turns holding each other, but I like holding Baz more. We watch some Netflix on my laptop, but we talk over it. We kiss periodically, it’s never heated or rushed, just slow and sweet. I spend a lot of time looking at Baz, not believing he is here, letting me kiss him and watching show after show. We get up for food and one too many cups of tea. My mother seems concerned we haven’t gone outside today, but I savor in quiet moments like this.

I sleep well that night. I realize I have to wake early to try and convince my dad to give me the car. I got my license over the summer and need to get my shopping done. I know he doesn’t work today, so he obliges. I go back to my room. Baz is still sleeping soundly. I don’t want to wake him, so I go and shower. Baz is awake by the time I return. I grab some clothes and go to the bathroom to change.

I hear chatter from the kitchen and find Baz chatting to my parents over a cup of tea. He’s still in his pajamas and laughing loudly. I don’t hear that laugh a lot, it makes me smile. He looks so naturally comfortable, almost like he belongs here. He turns to me. “Hey. Come in and stay awhile.”

“This is my house.” I say, laughing, sitting down next to Baz and grabbing a scone.

“I’m taking over.” He says. My parents are laughing.

“Yeah, we like Baz more than you.” My mum says. I overdramatically sigh.

“That’s fair.” Baz grabs my hand. “Everyone likes Baz.” I say, getting up to get a cup of tea.

“Except you, you hate me.” Baz jokes.

“You finally saw through my plan. I don’t love you, I tricked you, so I could kill you because I’m a bloodthirsty vampire.”

“You’ve thought about this way too much.”

“Maybe I have.” Then we all burst out laughing.

“You would be the worst vampire in all of vampire history. You are too nice for your own good. You wouldn’t kill anyone.” Baz says as I sit back down. I shrug.

“Maybe being a vampire would change me. Maybe I’d turn mean and hostile.”

“It doesn’t work like that, Simon.” My father says. “They only get mean when they haven’t eaten.”

“It was a joke, Davy.” My mum retorts.

“I know, I just thought I would take this moment for an educational moment.”

“Ugh, dad.”

“I’m just trying to teach you about these dangerous creatures.” I roll my eyes.

“Like a vampire is going to attack me.” I say.

“You never know, Simon.” My dad states.

“You never know, Snow.” Baz repeats. I hit his arm.

“I came here to have a good time and I honestly feel so attacked right now.”

“Always the drama queen.” Baz says.

“How narcissist, talking about yourself.” I say.

“Boys! That’s enough.” Baz and I are laughing and my mum looks concerned.

“It’s okay, Lucy, he was joking.”

“Lucy? Since when are you on first name basis with my parents?”

“Since you took your sweet ass time getting ready.” Baz takes a bite of my scone before standing up. “Speaking of, I think it’s time I get ready to go.” He walks to my room, Flakes following closely, leaving me alone with my parents.

“He’s a nice boy.” My father says. I’m honestly surprised how much he likes Baz as he has been trying to change his mother’s reforms since we were children. “Do his parents know about you two?” I nod.

“That’s why he’s here and why we weren’t invited to the Christmas party. I came out to him and kissed him. His mother saw and didn’t let him explain, she said he couldn’t come home for Christmas till he got back together with Agatha.” My dad scoffs.

“That’s awful. No one should ever treat their child like that.” I nod.

“Tell him he is always welcomed here.”

“I think he already knows that.”

Flakes comes running back out. I sit on the floor and scoop him into my arms. “Hey, buddy. I know you are jealous that we haven’t spent a lot of time together.”

“Snowflakes back at it again.” My father says.

“Merlin, is that way he’s called Flakes.” I hear Baz say, but my dog is licking my face, and it’s the best thing ever.

“Top of class everyone.” I say amongst the kisses. Flakes stops licking me and runs off to his water bowl. “Baz, you… you’re wearing dungarees.” They’re black and the stitching is exposed. He’s wearing a white long sleeve shirt under it and on the sleeve are some words I can’t make out. He looks so utterly attractive.

“Good observation, love.” I give him a stare. A stare of ‘my parents are right there.’ Baz comes over, holding out his hand to pull me up. “Ready to go?”

“Need my coat and shoes.”

“Same.”

We both get suited up. We both grab out wallets and phones. My dad gives me his keys with a promise to be safe.

“Who the hell let you drive?”

“You haven’t been in a car with me yet. I’m a good driver.” Baz looks at me. “I am!”

We get to town in one piece. We spend the whole day going around the shops; Baz buys expensive things and I buy cheap ones. We go to lunch and get milkshakes even though it’s cold, making us shiver as we walk from store to store. We hold hands because there is no one to hide from here. Baz even kisses my cheek once or twice. Once it gets too cold, we walk back to the car. I immediately put the butt warmers on and let the heat travel up my cold body. Baz says that even when I’m cold, I’m warm.

When we get home, Flakes comes up to us, wagging his tail in delight. We stick the numerous presents underneath the tree and my mum make us tea. Both of our faces are red, my nose running. Just when I thought nothing could beat yesterday, this day comes along. I don’t think I ever felt this happy while I was dating Penny, but it’s probably more about her being a girl and me being gay than anything wrong with her.

Baz and I spend most of our days in bed, sometimes he lets me drive him to town or on days where it isn’t too cold, we play footie. He's played violin a couple times for me and my parents. I love watching him play. I like this; it’s calm, everything Watford isn’t. We don’t have to hide, we just get to spend time together.

I think as Christmas approaches, Baz starts to miss his parents. He just seems a little down. I try my best to cheer him up, but he seems a little sad. But on Christmas Eve, he joins in on the gingerbread decorating and I see him smile. I love his smile it takes up so much of his face and it’s uncharacteristic for him.

On Christmas, I give him an ugly sweater to wear. He somehow makes it look good. As per tradition, we sit on the couch and open our presents over a cup of hot coco and tons of pancakes. Baz got me a new pair of trackies, the expensive kind. He must’ve seen how shot mine are. My parents get me some books on magic. Baz opens his presents after me. My parents got him a gift card to Amazon which he nicely says thank you for. Then he opens my gift, he smiles.

“A reading light?”

“Yeah, so you don’t have to hold your wand up when you read books at night. You just clip it to your book.”

“Thanks. I love it.”

We spend the rest of the day eating unhealthy food and watching Christmas movies with my parents. We barely all fit on the couch, but it just gives me an excuse to sit way too close to Baz. It is a wonderful Christmas. I go to bed full and happy. I hope Baz feels that way too. I think he does because he kisses me with extra passion. It gets to the point where we are properly snogging and I’m starting to get hard. I retract my lips from his and he sighs.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m getting a little…”

“Hard?” I nod.

“And I don’t want to freak you out or rush you.” Baz kisses my lips.

“Thanks.”

“Is it freaking you out?” Baz shakes his head.

“I’m a little hard too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” We lock eyes for a second.

“Oh.” I say. “Well, goodnight. Happy Christmas.”

“Snow…”

“What?”

“Do you want to do something about it?” My eyes widen.

“Do you? I really don’t want to rush you.”

“You aren’t.”

“Has anyone ever touched it before?” He nods.

“Has anyone ever touched yours?” I nod.

Baz grabs my hand and brings it to the crotch of his thin pajama pants. I can feel him through them. We lock eyes again. “Can I touch you?” He asks. I nod, not moving my hand. I can feel him do the same to me. “Have you ever touched a boy before?” I shake my head.

“I don’t know what to do?”

“Haven’t you ever wanked?”

“Once or twice.”

“You are helpless.”

“Have you?” Baz shrugs.

“Doesn’t matter.” He says. “May I…” I nod. I trust Baz. He starts to move his hand against my pajama pants. I start to do the same to him. I hear him curse quietly under his breath. I can feel myself growing harder as he attaches his lips back to mine. I hope my door is locked.

It rains a lot of the rest of break, but I don’t go outside. I know Baz has seen me do my thing, but it feels weird because I would actually know he is seeing it. “You can go out you know?” I shrug.

“It’s pouring out.”

“You don’t care about that, Simon. You never do.” My mum says.

“I’ll go out when it lightens up.” Even though, I desperately want to run outside in the pouring rain and let it pour down on me.

The rain turns to a drizzle in the late afternoon. I drag Baz outside without our coats against the concern from my mother. I throw my arms back and let the rain hit my skin. Baz is just standing there, looking at me. I come back to Earth, grabbing his hands, and we dance around together in the cold, rainy weather till my mum has to force us to come in.

The night before we have to go back to school, Baz says we have to read the Greatest Mage to Ever Live. We sit in my bed and read the story. “Is this about you?”

“Why would you say that?”

“Blonde boy, blue eyes, freckles all over his face. Powerful mage.”

“I’m not the Chosen One.”

“Obviously, those prophecies are a bunch of bullshit.”

“Not to my dad.”

“He believes them?”

“I think when he wrote this he did”

“A boy born of magic, powerful beyond belief, created to be the one to save us all.” Baz points to the illustration on the bottom of the page. “It’s literally you.”

“I was born the regular way, Baz, not from some conception rituals.”

“My boyfriend, the Chosen One.”

“You said it yourself, the prophecies aren’t real. Just drop it.”

“Maybe this was the plan for you.” I roll my eyes.

“It’s a stupid story.”

“Your stupid story.”

“So, I’m supposed to be the powerful Chosen One who saves the world from its own leader and I’m supposed to end up with a girl. It’s not right, none of it is.”

“Are you coming back to Watford for eighth year?”

“Trying to get rid of me?”

“Of course. I have to get away from the bloodthirsty vampire.”

“It won’t be that easy. You’ll still have to share a room with me.”

“Oh no, how will I manage?”

“I can’t believe it will be our last year.”

“I can’t either.”

“I’m really glad the Crucible put us together.”

“Me too, Simon, me too.”

“You called me Simon!” I say, smiling.

“Yeah… It’s a good name for the greatest mage.”

“Shut up.” I whine.

“You love me.” Merlin, if only you knew.

Baz

I try to interrogate Davy on our drive back to Watford about the Greatest Mage to Ever Live. Both him and Lucy seem closed off about their past, especially about this. They redirect even though I keep trying to approach it at different angles. I wanted to know more, I’m sure Snow does too.

We arrive back on campus. We both get out the car.

“Thank you so much.” I say.

“You are welcome anytime, son.” Davy says.

“Take care of Simon for me.” Lucy says.

“I will.” Snow kisses my cheek quickly. He knows that we won’t be able to be as open as we were over break.

“Bye Mum and Dad. I love you.”

“We love you too, Rosebud Boy.” Both of his parents hug and kiss him goodbye, hugging me too.

We walk to Mummers. I convinced Snow to wear a pair of colored trousers, maroon to be exact. They look good on him. I’m wearing my dungarees, per Snow’s request. I know he wishes he could hold my hand, but I don’t him we couldn’t in case someone saw. Snow argues that barely anyone is here, not understanding that, that someone is my mum.

We climb the many steps to our room. Surprisingly, my mum is our room. She’s sitting on my bed. “What are you doing here?”

“I was worried sick.” She says.

“Excuse me?”

“You didn’t say where you were going for Christmas.” I scoff.

“Thought you didn’t want to talk to me.” I wish Snow wasn’t here. “Thought you didn’t want me home for Christmas.”

“I… You have to tell me where you are, Tyrannus. I was worried.”

“I went home with Simon, my boyfriend.” I say.

“Your boyfriend?” She splutters. She looks at Snow, who is awkwardly starting to unpack his bag.

“My boyfriend.”

“You’re actually…”

“A homosexual. Yes.”

“Oh.” She says. “We missed you at the Christmas party.”

“Well, I had a very nice Christmas.”

“Did you now?” I nod. I can hear Snow giggling. “That’s-That’s good.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, good luck this term, boys.” She says, getting up.

“That’s it?” I say.

“What?”

“No ‘I’m sorry?’ No melodrama about me being gay or that my roommate is my boyfriend or anything?”

“Are you happy, Baz?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” She goes to leave.

“You can’t leave yet.”

“Why not?”

“You haven’t said sorry.”

“For what?”

“For what! Our fight before break.”

“It was barely a fight.”

“You wouldn’t let me come for Christmas!”

“Fine. I’m sorry.” She says.

“How do you feel about me being gay? Honestly.”

“Tyrannus…” I grab my wand out my pocket.

“The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but The Truth.” I cast the spell. My mum, ever the smart one, is able to deflect it. It hits Simon.

“I love Baz so much. I think he is so handsome and smart. I think people think those are the only things he is though, and he is so much more. He is funny, nerdy, and so good at football. I wish I could play like that. Sometimes, I feel like I’m not enough for him, especially because I’m a boy. I honestly love him so much.”

“Where did you learn that spell?” I hear my mum say, trying to get me to answer, but I only have ears for Snow. My wonderful Simon.

“I can’t wait to spend more of my life with him.” Snow finishes. Not caring that my mum is there, I go and kiss his lips. I feel him smile against my mouth.

“I love you too. Aleister Crowley, I love you so much.” I hear my mum scoffing in disgust.

“Baz, where did you learn that spell?”

“Does it matter, Mum?”

“It’s restricted. It very much does matter.”

“A book, maybe Magickal Words, I don’t know.”

“Have a good term.” She spits out, leaving the room.

“Sorry the spell hit you.” I say.

“It’s alright. Just my secret thoughts about you were revealed not only in front of you, but your mum as well.”

“Fuck.”

“What?”

“We should’ve used that spell on your parents to learn about the Chosen One stuff.”

“I’m not spelling my parents, Baz!”

“Don’t you want to know about that book?”

“Not as much as you.”

“We should’ve used it. Fuck.”

My football season has started again, leaving me with barely enough time to spend time with Snow or the rest of the Watford Wizards. But, like the good person Snow is, he barely cares. He’s starts making me go to breakfast with him and we always have late at night to spend together. We still haven’t told anyone. I like it being just an us thing right now.

Because I’m spending so much time being busy, Snow decides to go help the goatherd, Ebb. He comes back to the room smelling absolutely rank, but he seems to have a good time helping. I think it’s cute how much he loves the animals. He likes to talk to Ebb too. I went with a couple times, they seem to understand each other in a way that I’ll never understand.

I do well this term, so does Snow. Our exams go well, and I win some of my football games. I learn more songs that Snow can sing along to. Speaking of, our relationship is still going great. The girls did well this semester too. Both of them have decided to come back for eighth year. The Watford Wizards will have one final year together. It’s crazy to think about. So much has changed from my first year here.

I decided I would go home for summer holiday. Snow promised me he would visit, or we would work something out because neither of us wanted to wait until the school year started again to see each other. We are saying our goodbyes, the girls are there, ready to say goodbye as well. All of their families are waiting for them. Snow says goodbye to Bunce and Wellbelove, I do the same. When it is time for Snow and me to part, surprisingly in front of everyone, Snow kisses me. I have a minute of panic before relaxing into the kiss. I hear gasps from Agatha and Penny. Snow takes his lips off mine and pulls me into a tight hug.

“I love you.” He says. I chuckle.

“Love you too.”

“Promise we’ll see each other.”

“Of course, love.” Snow kisses me again. “Have a good trip home. Give my love to Flakes.”

“Do you want to say hello to my parents?”

“I have to meet up with my mum.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks, I’ll need it.” Snow releases me. I see him slowly walk to him parents. I look at the girls who are in shock.

“Simon! When the fuck did you tell him?” Penny asks, running up to him. Agatha isn’t far behind. I take a deep breath. Snow doesn’t seem to be answering anyone’s questions. I have to tell myself everything will be okay. I have to tell myself that everything has changed. I have to tell myself to carry on.


	9. Watford: Year 8

**Penny**

Agatha and I have made a plan. When we get to school, she’ll interrogate Simon and I’ll interrogate Baz. The minute I get onto the Watford campus, I make my way to Mummers. I’m on a mission. Simon thankfully isn’t there. Baz is lying on his bed, reading a book.

“When did you and Simon get together.”

“Hello to you too, Bunce.”

“Stop deflecting. I’ve been trying to ask Simon all summer and he won’t answer me. We all saw you kiss at the end of last term.”

“Jeez, Bunce, no need to make a big deal of it.”

“This is a huge deal, Baz! He had a crush on you for like three years. When, how, tell me everything.” I say, sitting on the end of Baz’s bed. He sits up.

“I didn’t make a big deal when you got together with Simon. I don’t have to tell you anything.”

“It is a big deal.”

“Why? Because we’re gay? I don’t see why I have to tell you anything just because I’m not in a heterosexual couple.”

“Because you are in a relationship with my best friend and my ex. Plus we’re friends and I want to know.” I lock eyes with him. He huffs.

“Fine. He came out to me about two months into the school year. We were outside and I was playing violin. He came out and he didn’t think I was listening, so he kissed me.”

“You’ve been together since before Christmas and neither of you told me!”

“We didn’t tell anyone except our parents.”

“Why?”

“Maybe we don’t like everyone knowing our business, Bunce.”

“Oh.”

“How did your mum take it?”

“Not well. She didn’t let me go home for Christmas.”

“Which is why you went home with Simon?”

“Yeah.”

“How did his parents take it?”

“How do you think they took it? They are the nicest people ever.”

“True.” I say. “Did you have a nice time?”

“It was great. He lives in this small cottage, not too far from a cute town.”

“Do you like him?”

“I love him.”

“That’s great, Baz.”

“Jealous?”

“No.”

“Was he a good boyfriend to you?” He asks me. I nod.

“Yeah, he was really sweet and caring.” Baz smiles. He looks so happy talking about Simon. “He’s a wonderful bean, isn’t he?”

“The loveliest.” He says, staring off to the corner of the room. He is probably thinking about Simon.

“Seeing you in love is really sickening.”

“Wait till you see Simon. He’s like a dumbstruck puppy.”

“You called him Simon.” He shrugs.

“Dunno, feels weird to call him Snow now that we’re dating.”

“Since when have you said dunno. He’s rubbing off on you.”

“No…”

“Yes…”

“Well, you got your information. Off you go.” Baz says.

“No, I want to know more.” Baz lets out a exasperate huff.

“What else?”

“Did you know you were gay before he kissed you?”

“No. Why do you want to know this?”

“I already told you. You are my friend and I want to get to know you.”

“You’ve known me for eight years.”

“Okay so I know what your favorite color is and your best school subject. Big whoop. Do you ever tell anyone anything personal?”

“I tell Simon.”

“If you tell me something about yourself, I’ll tell you something about me.”

“20 questions, aye?”

“More of an eye for an eye.”

“Fine.”

“Yes! Okay, um,”

“I’m waiting.”

“How does Simon deal with you?”

“He doesn’t.”

“No, wait, that wasn’t my question.”

“Yes, it was. Now, my turn.” I roll my eyes. “How long did you know about Simon’s crush? How long did Agatha know?”

“Agatha knew at the start of fifth year. I found out after Christmas.” He nods. “What do you like about Simon?”

“Everything.”

“That’s such a shit answer.”

“You asked, I answered.”

“Real answers from now on.”

“Fine! What do I like about Simon? He’s a good kisser. He listens to me. He’s kind and sensitive. He’s fit and smart.”

“He is such a good kisser.”

“The best.”

“I can’t believe I’m talking to Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch about Simon Snow’s kissing abilities.” Baz chuckles.

“Shut up.”

“Never.”

“How is he so attractive?”

“Baz, have you seen yourself?” He flips his hair behind his shoulder.

“Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybelline.”

“Who are you and what did you do with Baz?” He shrugs.

“Maybe I got turned into a vampire and now I’m all different.”

“I don’t think it works like that.”

I hear the door open. We both look over to see a very out of sorts Simon. His hair is a mess, his clothes crumpled, his backpack hanging from one shoulder. He looks exhausted.

“Hey, Penny, nice to see you.” He says, putting a smile on his face. “Baz.” Baz gives a nod.

“What happened to you?”

“Agatha happened. She bombarded me with questions from the moment I got out of my car till I got to Mummers.” He says, throwing his backpack on his bed.

“I better go then. Meet you two at the picnic soon, yeah?”

“Yeah. We’ll see you.” Simon says. I could tell they wanted to be alone.

I walk to the Cloisters. Agatha is unpacking the last of her things. “I barely got anything from Baz.”

“I didn’t get anything from Simon either.”

“Maybe we can get something out of them at the picnic.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“How was your summer?” She asks.

“I visited a lot of universities.”

“Nice.”

“How about you?”

“Oh, I went to California with my friend.”

“That’s fun.”

“I’m thinking of going to university there.”

“In California?”

“Yeah. You should come too. It’s so nice and warm there. You would love it in America.”

“There is barely a mage community in America. Plus, I already know what university I want to go to. I don’t think I could leave Simon and Baz.”

“Come with me over winter holiday. You’ll love it, Penny, I know you will.” I sigh.

“I have to check with my parents.” Agatha smiles wide.

“Yay! Girls on tour.”

“Girls on tour.”

The picnic is weird this year. Maybe it’s the impending thoughts of this is our last one together or so many of our classmates haven’t returned for the eighth year. We all sit together and for once, we all eat too much. We stare up at the stars a lot of the night; Agatha telling us bullshit horoscopes and Simon pointing out constellations. Baz and Simon hold hands the whole night and Simon picks the left-over food off Baz’s plate. They seem happy, I guess that’s all that matters.

Towards the end of the night, I stand up. “I propose a toast.”

“Not this again.” Baz complains.

“C’mon Basilton, it’s our last year.” Like that, everything shifts. I can see Simon’s eyes go wide, like they always do before he starts to cry. Baz huffs. “To the Watford Wizards.” I hold out my cup. Agatha stands up to join me and so does Simon. Baz remains sitting.

“I still think it’s a moronic name.”

“And yet, you still haven’t come up with a better one.” I say.

“Oh contraire,” He stands up. “To the Marvelous Mages.” Agatha starts laughing and then the rest of us join in. “Simon, you can’t laugh, we’re dating.”

“Sorry sweetie, but that name is rubbish.” Simon says.

“Fine. To the Watford Wizards.”

“There we go. To the Watford Wizards. Let our last year be Magickal.” We all clink our cups together, basking in our last picnic together.

“Deva vu, Bunce.” I repeat it louder, some first years stare at us.

“Fuck you, Baz.”

“Snow! Tell her to stop!”

“Fight your own battles.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“Can you guys stop being disgustingly cute for like two minutes?” Agatha asks, talking a sip of the soda in her cup. “It’s really fucking disgusting for single people like Penny and me.”

“Nope, you guys just have to deal with us.” Baz says. Simon kisses him just to prove his point.

“I wanna play footie.” Simon says. “Anyone fancy a late-night game?”

“They are going to make us go in soon.” Agatha says.

“Who cares? We’re eighth years.” Simon argues. Baz huffs.

“I’m in.”

“So am I.” I say.

Simon runs back to Mummers to get a ball. We try and interrogate Baz about their relationship, but he pretends he isn’t listening. Simon comes back in athletic shorts and carrying a ball. We head to the football pitch and play around until Headmaster Grimm-Pitch forces us inside. I win for once. I’m quite proud of my accomplishment.

Eighth year is the easiest Watford year to date. It’s simple and there aren’t many expectations. You hone into whatever subjects you want to and it’s honestly more fun than work. For example, I’m mainly focusing on Magickal History and Words while Simon is working hard, or as hard as an eighth year can, in Maths and Magickal Words. I’m not complaining though; the last eight years have been a lot of work. Now it’s just nice to hang out with my friends, even though Baz and Simon spend most of their time together.

It’s not too weird with Simon and Baz dating. They don’t rub their relationship in anyone’s face except in a joking way. They hold hands most times I see them and aren’t too public about their relationship. I have caught them kissing in a classroom before the teacher or any of the students have arrived. They seem properly in love. From just the way they stare at each other, you can just tell how much they love each other. What’s nice is that Baz never gets jealous if I want to hang out with Simon.

“Penny.” SImon starts as we finish the last of our meal.

“Yeah.”

“Can you paint my nails one day?” He says, taking the last bite of his dessert.

“I’m rubbish at it, but I would love to.”

“Maybe we can work out the spell your mum used to break the Mummers house thing and get Agatha to Mummers. The four of us could have a sleepover.”

“You are too cute, Simon Snow.” He blushes.

Baz and I figure out the spell easily and are able to cast it. Both Agatha and I go to Mummers house with everything you need for a successful sleepover. It’s before Christmas break, right after exams, we are all properly tired.

“You guys have an on-suite? What the fuck!” Agatha says, walking into the room.

“We are the only ones.”

“You lucky fucks.”

We all sit on the floor. Agatha opens her laptop and starts playing music while I put out all the nail varnishes. Simon immediately gravitates toward a blue color. Baz chooses black no matter how much nagging from Simon to choose yellow. Agatha paints Simon’s nails and I do Baz’s even though he wanted to do them himself.

Once their nails are dry, Simon said he wanted to try. It ends up a disaster with more varnish on my skin than on the nail, but we both laugh about it. Baz ends up painting Agatha’s nails and of course, they turn out perfectly. 

We curl up together and crowd around a laptop to watch a movie. It’s a sweet night and it just reminds me of how much I’ll miss everyone. I can’t help but think how selfish I am, thinking I could leave this all behind to trot off to America; a country I don’t know with people I don’t know… people who aren’t like me. The movie ends and Agatha and I go to sit on the other bed. We play truth or dare and never have I ever until Simon complains that he needs sleep. We, including Baz, all boo him. He stays up for a couple more rounds until he starts to get ready for bed, Baz not far behind. We don’t actually go to bed straight away. As the lights turn off, we start to share stories and it gets to that point in the night where nothing makes sense and yet everything makes sense. We get to a  where things turn deep. Then, we all fall asleep. I dream about my upcoming trip to America, hoping I won’t love it as much as I probably will.

**Agatha**

Penny and I have a good trip to California. Her face lights up when she steps off the plane. I know she would love America, especially California. We both hate the cold, rainy weather that England inhibits. We do all the stupid Hollywood touring stuff and go to the beach. It’s so much fun. We look at some universities too. I think Penny is looking more forward to university now.

Then we return to school and it seems like a race against the clock. Penny starts working her ass off and so does Baz as the final leg of their competition for top of class starts. Simon spends a lot of his time helping the goatherd, so I’m once again alone. I try and throw myself into my studies for a while until I decide to try out for the lacrosse team. Turns out, I’m right good at it. Sometimes when we have to share the pitch with the football team, I see Baz staring at me.

I think a part of me is still hung up on Baz. My heart still hurts when I see him and Simon do something unequivocally adorable. They are so perfect together, yet all I can think about is my relationship with Baz. Penny got over Simon quite quickly. I don’t know why I can’t do the same. I’ve shagged a guy or two since my break up, but it’s like a part of me misses him. Maybe I’m just jealous.

With Simon and Baz being more open about their relationship, not with details but they’ll kiss out in the open sometimes, there has been an insurgence of LGBTQ+ couples at Watford. It seems like Simon is a matchmaker; people will come up to him and I’ll see him talk to them. Next thing I know, that person is with someone. I see Simon talking to Penny’s brother Pacey often. I don’t know what about, but probably something of the same nature. Headmaster Grimm-Pitch doesn’t seem so happy about it though. Not that I was eavesdropping, but I just so happen to be walking past her and Baz having a conversation and I picked some of it up.

“I’m not happy about the sudden change in our students’ relationships.” She says to Baz.

“They feel safe enough to be out. Shouldn’t that be a compliment to the environment you are setting?”

“It’s because of you and Simon.”

“I can’t argue with that, mother.”

“I don’t like it, Baz.”

“It’s 2016, things are changing. You are going to have to get used to it. Watford is a place where people feel safe. So safe that one student wants to make an LGBTQ+ club here. You might not like it, but other students have no problems with it. They are very accepting. You should be happy.” I hear Baz’s mother scoff and walk away.

The Watford Wizards spend a good amount of time together. We often have our weekly football match then go back to Mummers to relax. Most of the time it ends up with me and Penny showering and nicking some of Simon or Baz’s loungewear and then we all cramp onto one bed to watch a movie, then Penny and I either leave or stay there. If we stay, the four of us will stay up chatting, playing stupid games, or sometimes watching another movie. It’s nice to have time to relax and not have to talk about school work or sports or impending University deadlines all the time.

By the time exam season rolls around. Everyone in our year is done. Simon looks like he is going to pass out ninety percent of the time, Baz looks like he wants to sleep, and Penny… she isn’t affected. Even after exams, she seems eager to learn. I don’t know how that feels. I think we all clock out the rest of the year. Baz gets top of class, no surprise. Penny doesn’t look too disappointed. She said that public speaking really isn’t her thing anyway.

We all wear our uniforms for the Leaver’s Ceremony. All the students process into the White Chapel alphabetically. I’m not seated with any of my friends. I spot Baz’s father and aunt. Penny’s family is there in full and Simon’s parents are both there. My parents aren’t here, they are too busy to come. As much as I dislike my parents, I wish they could be here for their only daughter. All of them are sitting together and chatting amicably. I wonder if that’s where I’ll be in years’ time; sitting, watching my eighteen-year-old graduate from Watford, chatting with my friends that I haven’t seen in years. Baz is sitting up front because he has to say a speech.

“Good morning, everyone.” Headmaster Grimm-Pitch says at the podium. “Welcome to the 2016 Leaver’s Ceremony.” The ceremony is long and arduous. Multiple people get awards; one being Simon for always lending a helping hand and Penny for her studious talents. I only perk up when I hear Baz’s name called for his speech.

“Now, everyone welcome Tyrannus Grimm-Pitch, this year’s top boy.” There is scattered applause. The loudest coming from Simon who whoops and hollers. Baz stands up at the bottom looking as polished as usual. He clears his throat before starting.

“When I started at Watford eight years ago, I had no idea who I would be today. I assumed I would be top boy, but I didn’t assume much else. I was put in a box as the headmaster’s son and that’s all I really knew. I knew to do well in class, practice violin, play football, and get the girl. After Watford, I would be going off to university. I would get married, have children to carry on the Pitch family name, one day take over for my mother, and then die. A few of those things came true. I did do well, practice violin, played on footie team, and got into university, but other details of my life changed dramatically.”

“I’m gay. I would have never assumed this at the ripe age of 11. But, then a very special boy kissed me, and my outlook changed. My life became so much happier. My openness with my boyfriend has caused so much change in the Watford community for the better. Back when I was 11, I would’ve been repulsed by the idea of kissing a boy.”

“If you think back to who you were when you started Watford, I’m sure it doesn’t match up with who you are now. We all change. Little events can change everything. And even though everything around us is constantly changing, everyone in this room has one thing in common. We are Magicians. We have magick coursing through our veins. I grew up on this campus, I always loved the feeling of magick. I know we are all going to our separate places for university and you still might not know who you are. But if you ever feel out of place, just take a deep breath and feel your magick. That isn’t going anywhere, no matter how much changes. You just have to remember to carry on. Thank you.” Baz walks onstage. Simon stands up for him, causing Penny to stand for him too. I stand as well, and we all cheer way too loudly for our favorite top boy.

Then Headmaster Grimm-Pitch reads out everyone’s names to proceed with the graduation. I’m the last one and I shake my headmaster’s hand before going back to my seat. We say the school pledge and it ends the ceremony. Simon runs up to Baz, pulling him into a huge hug and kissing his lips. Penny comes over to me and we both go say congrats to Baz on his speech. We all walk over to the various groups of parents waiting.

“That was a great speech, Baz.” Simon’s mother says. Baz blushes.

“Thank you, Lucy.”

“Hello, Simon. Nice to see you.” Mr. Pitch says.

“Nice to see you, Sir.” Simon says, holding out his hand for a shake.

Penny and I take way too long to get ready for Leaver’s Ball. Well, I take too long, and Penny wants me to be do her makeup and hair. So, it took us awhile. Penny wears a long, flowy pink dress and I wear a tighter black dress.

We go to the Leaver’s Ball. Simon and Baz are already there. Their suits both look expensive and for once Simon’s suit actually fits him. The curls are controlled, and Baz’s hair looks like he really tried to make it look good. They are sitting in a corner by themselves with cups and discarded plates next to them. Simon’s head is on Baz’s shoulder. It’s a nice moment. I wish it wasn’t creepy to take a picture on my phone. A boy that I shagged comes up to me asking for a dance, and after checking with Bunce, I accept. It is my last night here anyway. I meet up with Bunce after my dance. We go and sit with Baz and Simon.

“Hey.” I say.

“Well don’t you two look stunning.” Simon says. I smile.

“Thank you.” I hear Penny say, her cheeks pink. I smile at him.

“It’s our last night here.” Baz says.

“Yeah.” I say. “Penny and I have something to tell you.”

“You’re dating? Baz you owe me twenty pounds.” Simon says, holding out his palm to Baz.

“What? No!” Penny says, laughing.

“No! We are moving to America.” I say.

“What?” Simon asks.

“Penny and I are both going to uni in America.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Simon asks, his voice full of disbelief.

“You keep plenty of secrets from Penny and me. We just didn’t want you to get upset.”

“Baz and I told you our after-Watford plans!”

“Simon, it’s leaver’s ball, please let’s not be angry at one another. Congrats guys. I’m happy for you.” Baz says.

“Thanks.” Penny and I say.

“How about we dance?” Baz suggests, standing up and holding out his hand for Simon. “The Watford Wizards.”

We all move outside to where everyone is dancing. We all dance together until the song transitions to a slower one. Simon and Baz waltz around the patio. Then it hits me that this is the end and I’m moving to America and everything I’ve ever known is going away. I look at Penny and give her a huge hug.

“We are leaving Watford tomorrow.”

“That we are.”

“How are you so calm?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’m just trying not to think about it.”

“BAZ! It’s raining!” Simon rushes out of Baz’s arms, away from everyone. Baz laughs, walking over to his boyfriend, following Simon’s lead. I let go of Penny. We both look at them for a moment before rushing over to join them. “This is a good sign. Things are going to go well for us. I just know it.”

We let the rain pour on us till a concerned teacher makes us come in. I’m quite glad, I am getting quite cold. Simon stands outside an extra minute than we do before running to catch up with us. We spend the rest of the night together until the ball ends. It’s fun and melancholy. We take one too many pictures and laugh way too loud.

By the time I get back to the Cloisters, my feet ache and I desperately want to take off all my makeup. Penny and I wash up and head to bed. I can’t believe it is my last night sleeping in this bed. I can’t believe it is my last night with Penny as my roommate.

The rain has stopped in the morning. The goodbyes are long. Simon is sobbing and gives us minute long hugs, refusing to stop hugging until Baz pries him off. His crying makes me and Penny cry. The only one not crying is Baz, maybe he is trying to be strong. I hug him goodbye.

“There is no need to be strong.” I say. I see a tear escape his eye. Simon talks my ear off about how I must not forget him when I go off to America and gives the same speech to Penny. I told him I would never forget him.  

Then the parents pull up and I know it is time for the real goodbyes.

“Group hug.” Penny suggests. We all hug, and I hear sobs coming from all around.

“I love you guys.” I say.

“Love you too.” Penny says.

“Love you, Aggie.” Simon says.

“Love you, Wellbelove.” Baz says.

“To Watford Wizards, let the rest of our lives be magickal.” Penny says.

“Deva vu again. This is so weird.” Baz says.

“Jeez Baz, why can’t you just let us have one nice moment?” I say. He scoffs.

We all walk off to our parents. I take one last look at Watford: at the trees on the border of campus, the gates, the buildings, the football pitch. I look at my friends. I remember all the picnics, all the tears, all the laughter shared. I know it will be hard to carry on, but I will, we have to.

 


	10. Post-Watford

**Natasha**

I’m not expecting to hear the sound of the doorbell today. I check my schedule quickly after having Vera answer the door and like I thought, no one is scheduled; no coven meetings or Watford related meetings.

Vera comes back up from answering the door. “Simon Salisbury is here.”

“Simon?” She nods. I scoff. “Hold him off for a couple minutes while I change into something more presentable, will you?” I hear Vera’s footsteps down the stairs. I walk to my bedroom from my study and change out of my home clothes into work clothes.

I walk downstairs. Simon is standing by the doorway. He looks more put-together than I’m used to seeing him; his normally unruly curly blonde hair is combed, he is wearing a button-up that I’m sure I bought Baz years back, and a nice pair of jeans.

“Simon, what a surprise.” I say. I walk over to him. He puts out his hand and I shake it.

“Yes, sorry to come with no notice, but this is an urgent matter.” He says. “Is your husband in?”

“He is, but he might be busy. Vera, can you tell Malcolm to please come down.” She nods, going back upstairs. “Tea?” I ask. Even though I’m not the biggest fan of Simon’s, I still need to be a good host.

“That would be great, thanks.” He says. We walk to the kitchen and I put on the kettle.

“Is this about Tyrannus?” It is weird that Simon is in my house without my son. He looks so out of place. He nods.

Once the tea is ready and Malcolm comes down, we sit in the dining room. Simon takes a sip of his tea before starting. “Sorry again for coming without warning. I just needed to come at a time without Baz. I wanted to ask you two for your permission to ask Baz for his hand in marriage.” I gasp, shocked that Simon would have the manners to ask. “I know you aren’t the happiest about our relationship and even if you say no, I will probably ask him anyway, I just thought I would show courtesy and ask.”

“Thank you for asking us, Simon.” Malcolm says. Simon nods.

“I have the ring, if you want to see.” Simon fishes around in his coat pocket and pulls out a small ring box. It’s nothing special. It doesn’t look very expensive. Just a simple band with rainbow stones in it, but it’s sweet.

“How are you planning to propose?” I ask.

“Are you saying I have permission to marry your son?”

“I’m asking how you are planning to propose.”

“Well, Baz has been super busy and so have I, our schedules never really line up. But there is one day when we both have off and we were just planning to spend the day together at home. So, I’ll do something centered around that. Probably breakfast in bed or something.”

“You know Malcolm and I aren’t completely on board with the whole gay thing. But I see that nothing is going to change and Baz sure does love you, so I’m not going to stop you, but I am going to ask, are you sure it’s the right time?”

“We’ve been dating for over ten years and yeah we are both super busy, but I think this is the right time. We probably won’t get married right away anyway.”

It takes them almost two years to get married. The two of them decide to have a small wedding with just those who are closest to them. It just ends up being the Grimm-Pitch family, Simon’s mother and father, the Bunces, the Wellbeloves, and various people that Tyrannus and Simon work with. Penelope brought her boyfriend along, an American boy, the one who was at Watford with them. Agatha tells me that she doesn’t have a partner right now because she is focusing on her work. Penelope Bunce is Simon’s best woman and Agatha acts in place of Tyrannus’s best man. Simon is the one to walk down the aisle. Both him and Tyrannus are wearing black suits except Simon is wearing a blue bowtie and Tyrannus a yellow one which seems to be the color scheme of their wedding. They don’t write their own vows, maybe it is because they like to keep their relationship private. The most I’ve ever heard about their relationship is when Tyrannus called me to say that they were engaged.

The reception is nice. They have a good variety of food and great cake. My son dances like a fool with his husband for way too long. It’s so weird to see my son married… to a man. But they seem happy. As a mother, I should be happy that my son is happy. I guess I am happy, Malcolm seems happy too, talking amicably with Simon’s parents.

“Penny! Why didn’t you tell me?” Simon says.

“How did you guys not know?” Agatha says.

“It’s your wedding, mate. Didn’t want to take the spotlight.” Penelope says.

“You’re engaged for fuck’s sake. It deserves some celebration. Let me get you a drink.”

“Congrats, Bunce.” Tyrannus says.

By the end of the night, I’m reasonably drunk and so is Malcolm. The boys seem a little tipsy, but nothing too bad. Simon is hanging off of my son’s arm. He looks like he is ready to go to their first night together as a married couple. I leave as the party winds down, as Tyrannus and Simon are dancing their last dance. Even tipsy, they still waltz together perfectly. They fit so well together. It makes me change what I’ve always thought. My son is so completely in love. Simon might not have money or be the most dignified mage on the planet, but he loves my son. I can’t believe how blind I’ve been all these years. All these years of deflecting and hoping that they would one day break up. I can’t believe how stupid I was.

**Lucy**

“Baz and I want to have a baby.” Simon says, sitting at the kitchen table in the middle of an intense game of _Scrabble._

“And how are you going to do that?” Davy asks.

“We’ve done plenty of research and we decided to use conception rituals. The legal ones. We went to a doctor and they said plenty of same-sex couples have used this specific one to conceive.”

“You cannot use those, Simon. Conception rituals are extremely dangerous even the legal ones. Why can’t you adopt or use a surrogate?” Davy argues.

“Together. Triple word score plus I used all my letters.” I say, trying to deflect the conversation.

“We can’t adopt because we want to have a Magician baby, and no one ever gives up their mage baby. We don’t want to use a surrogate because then it won’t be fully ours. It will be one of ours and that will just cause a fight.”

“What ritual are you using anyway?”

“I don’t know all the details. Baz knows more than I do. How do you know so much about conception rituals anyway?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.”

“Simon, it’s your turn.” I say.

“Not now, mum. Tell me. You keep so much of your past a secret. I barely know any of it, please tell me. I can handle it.”

“This is a done deal! Take your turn.” Davy shuts him down. I look at Davy with a look saying _why can’t we just tell him._

“He’s 28, Davy. Maybe it’s time.” I say.

“What happened?” My son asks. Davy huffs.

“Well, in my eighth year at Watford, I became obsessed with the chosen one prophecy. I wanted to make the Chosen One. Your mum, who I was dating at the time, decided to help. We were going to make the Chosen One through conception rituals. We got married and ran off without telling anyone to this cottage, your mum got pregnant before we could continue with the rituals. I became a very bad husband for a lot of her pregnancy, I was very angry. But we worked it out, you were born, and I realized how stupid I was. Simon, please don’t use those rituals. They are dangerous and you never know the outcomes.”

“Oh.” Simon says. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Davy asks.

“Okay.” Simon looks to his rack of letters. “Helpful.” He says, putting his letters down. I tally up his points. “I’ll discuss it with Baz, but we just want our baby. Is that so wrong?”

“It’s not wrong at all. We just want you two to be safe.”  I say. He smiles at me. Davy puts down a word.

“I can’t believe how chill you are about the past.” Davy says. Simon shrugs.

“You don’t hate me and it’s the past.”

“We do love you a lot.” Davy says.

“Is that Chosen One novel the life you wanted me to have?”

“Yeah. I was also 18 when I wrote that, so I don’t think I really knew what I wanted.”

We continue with our game. I end up winning and I jokingly rub it in my family’s faces. Davy has gone to bed and Simon and I are sitting on the couch. The television is playing adverts.

“Are you sure it’s a good time to have a baby though?” I say.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, Baz is always so busy. I don’t want you to be all alone with a baby.” Simon looks at me.

“You don’t think we have this figured out?”

“I’m sure you do. But it’s Christmas and Baz is working. It’s your first Christmas after you got married and he isn’t here. “

“Trust me, I know, but he’ll be here tomorrow.”

“You are also moving next month, and you are switching jobs.”

“I get it, Mum. But Baz and I have been planning this, yeah? We are going to move, and I’ll get settled in my job. We will do some more research and once we have our baby, Baz will take some time off from traveling internationally. It will be fine.”

“Ok.”

“We’ve been planning our future since we left university. And we want Penelope’s child and our child to go to Watford together.”

“Is Penny pregnant?”

“Not yet.” Simon says. “Or at least she hasn’t told me. She’s getting married soon.”

“That’s great for her.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you miss Baz when he goes away?”

“Of course, I do. He’s my best friend.” I hear a chocked sob. “I miss him so much. He goes away for so long sometimes. It’s hell.”

“You’ll see him soon.”

“I know, but I just wish he was here, not in fucking Tokyo.” I want to tell him off for cursing, but I don’t. “The show is coming back on.” He says wiping his eyes.

Simon ends up falling asleep in the middle of the show. I can’t believe how big my baby is. I can’t believe that he might be having a baby. I shake his shoulder gently, telling him to go to bed. He nods, going to bed. I turn off the TV and go into my own room.

Baz gets to the house early in the morning. He looks so tired, but when he sees Simon, his whole face lights up. It reminds me of my relationship with Davy back when we were young. Simon hugs Baz tightly, kissing his cheek.

“Don’t ever leave me for that long ever again. It was torture. Torture, Basilton.”

“Trust me, it was torture for me too.” Baz says. “You would love Tokyo. If I ever have to go on a trip like that, you are coming with.”

“I would love that.”

“How was your Christmas?” Simon looks at me.

“Okay. I missed you.”

“Other than that.”

“It was good then. How was yours?”

“I was on an airplane for the whole of it, so not that great.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m here now. That’s what matters.” Baz kisses Simon. They’ll be great parents, but it makes me sad to think about it. I’ll be a grandmother. That’s crazy.

**Baz**

“I can’t do it, Baz. I can’t. We aren’t ready to be parents, I can’t even take care of myself. I can’t do it. Maybe we should wait. Maybe we are rushing into this.” Simon says, pacing around our living room. We are planning to do the conception ritual today, but it seems like my husband is getting cold feet.

“Simon, we’ve been planning this for months. The doctors assured us everything will go smoothly, but you have to calm down.” Simon stops pacing to look at me before lying on the couch. I sit next to him and grab his hands. I rub my thumb over his.

“I’m scared.”

“You think I’m not. This is big, but a good kind of big.” Simon puts his head on my lap, I play with his curly hair.

“Can we talk over the plan again?” I chuckle.

“Of course.” I say. “Tonight, we do the conception ritual and in nine months, we’ll have a healthy baby. You’ll take off work whenever they tell you to. I’ll take off around seven months. We will stay off work after the baby is born, then I’ll go back to work, and then you will. We’ll homeschool the child and when old enough, send them to Watford. They will spend the first couple Christmases with your family until they are old enough to go to the Pitch Christmas party. Everything else, we’ll figure out along the way.”

“Thanks.” I bend down and kiss his head.

“No problem, love.”

“What if I mess up? What if I accidentally drink coffee or beer or something?”

“Not going to be a problem because you don’t drink either of those things.”

“Right.”

“If you don’t want to carry it, I’ll do it.”

“You’re better at casting spells.”

“Is there anything I can do to ease your anxiety before the ritual?”

“Can you play a song on your violin?” I smile.

“Only if you sing along.” I lift Simon’s head and stand up.

“I can’t sing.”

“You want to have this argument now? Come with me to the bedroom.”

Simon sits on the bed and I start to play a song on my violin. He obliges and sings along albeit quietly. I can see him visibly calm. It calms me too.

“Did that help?” I ask before starting another song.

“Yeah. I think I’m ready now.”

“Are you now?”

“Shut up.” I put my violin and in its case. I sit next to Simon, kissing his lips.

“You love me.”

“You have no idea.”

“Lie down.” I say.

“You know the spell?”

“Yes.”

“You know what you are supposed to do?”

“Yes.” I grab my wand and cast it at Simon. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“You have to be quiet now.” Simon nods, catching my eye. I try and look like I’m nervous as I cast the spell. I can feel Simon watching me. After the ritual is completed, I ask, “Do you feel anything?”

“Yeah. Something’s definitely happened.” We smile at each other.

The first couple months of the pregnancy are fine. We both go to work, and Simon is tired after working, so I cook dinner. Nearing into the sixth month, things started to change. Our doctor said that our baby is already bigger than it should be. Simon and I didn’t think anything of it, mostly because having a baby by conception rituals can already alter things about how normal birth should work. But then I get a call from Simon to pick him up from work because he didn’t feel well enough to walk to the tube station.

He skips a few days of work, due to not being able to get out of bed because he is so tired. He tells me it’s fine for me to go to work, so I do. We figured it might just be a little virus, but after two weeks, his energy hadn’t regained. We go to the doctor for an ultrasound and are told it’s because the baby is feeding off Simon’s energy. They don’t recommend him going back to work, they also recommend him to take walks when he can. Simon didn’t really like to take walks, so he would sit outside on our small balcony in the sun. He’s starting to like the sun more than the rain. I don’t know what to do to do help him. I go back to work for a week before finding myself worrying about Simon too much, so I decide to take off work.

Closer to the due date, Simon starts to really not feel well. He has no energy or appetite. He complains of his feet hurting and it being hot, when it’s the middle of winter. I make him eat, I rub his feet, I play him violin. But he always tells me he doesn’t need my help.

Then the baby is coming. I call his parents and we go to the hospital. They don’t let me go into the hospital room, I don’t know why. I wait there with Simon’s parents for a long time. I’m so tired, but I don’t sleep. I can’t sleep. A doctor comes out of the room to tell me that our baby girl is born, but that Simon isn’t doing well. They still don’t let me in.

Another two hours roll by before they let me go in. He’s lying down with his curly hair matted to his forehead. “Basil?” Simon weakly says.

“Yeah, I’m here.” Simon starts crying. I rush over to him. He is holding our child to his chest. “Are you okay?”

“I feel like shite. The doctors say she’s going to be a powerful one. That’s why I feel so…”

“Sick?”

“Yeah.” He says. “Want to hold her?” I nod. I take her from his chest, holding her in my arms.

“Babies are so weird looking.”

“Baz! You can’t say that. She’s our child.” I roll my eyes.

“Name?” Simon shrugs. “Ophelia?” He laughs. “What? It’s a name from Shakespeare.”

“It’s so pretentious.”

“And so am I.” I say. “Do you like it or not?”

“I do. Middle name?”

“Rain. Because your middle name is Snow.”

“Ophelia Rain. I like it.”

**Simon**

She’s up to my knee, running around the flat hiding from Baz while I’m cooking dinner. She runs up to me, asking me to help hide her. I let her hide behind my legs. Baz obviously sees her but pretends he doesn’t. As soon as Baz leaves the room, she goes to hide somewhere else. I chuckle, continuing to cook dinner. Baz comes back into the kitchen, obviously exhausted.

“Has a lot of energy, that one.”

“Sit her down at the piano. She needs the practice.” I say.

“When did you become so into her musical ability?”

“When you had her start taking lessons, but never tell her to practice.”

“How did her lessons go today?”

“The same. She’s smart just like you. She started to ask me about magic today.”

“What did you say?”

“I told her about Watford and about her magic. I taught her Clean as a Whistle.”

“Simon,”

“No harm, no foul. You can’t tell me your mum didn’t teach you spells before you entered Watford.”

“She did.”

“So, did mine. It’s just one spell. It’s not like I’m going to teach her nursery rhymes, just simple stupid spells. It burnt off some of her energy.”

“I better go and find her.” Baz says. “Ophelia! Come out, come out wherever you are.” He walks into the living room. From the playful girly screams, I can guess Baz finally caught up to her. He sits her down at the piano and she starts playing. For a girl who never practices, she can play well or as well as a seven-year-old can.

We sit down for dinner. Ophelia rambles on about a book she is reading, and Baz asks her questions about it. I have to cut off the conversation because Ophelia was so into the talk of her book, she hadn’t touched her dinner.

I get her ready for bed while Baz cleans up. I help her in the bath, messily braiding her hair afterwards. She gets into her pajamas before I put her into bed. I read with her until it is time for lights out and she goes to bed.

I join Baz in the lounge. He is sitting on the couch, the television playing some show that I know he is invested in. I sit next to him. “I’m so tired.”

“Same.”

“Want to go to bed?” I ask.

“It’s seven thirty.” I shrug. “We aren’t those parents.”

As she grows older, her magic level increases. Around the house, I can smell that almost fiery smell that people used to tell me that I brought with me. I teach her more spells due to her begging. I don’t mind as long as she gets her work done. While I teach her school subject, Baz teaches her proper etiquette for our social standing. I told him I didn’t want us to be part of high society, but Baz said it was good to teach her. His parents are very impressed on how polite our little girl is, my parents are just happy she is well.

She’s a lot of both of us, I think. She is very much like Baz with his strong opinions and smart brain, but she’s also very quiet and enjoys being by herself. She loves playing piano but isn’t much of an athlete. Much like my childhood, she doesn’t have many friends her age. Penny said that once their twins is ten, they’ll move to Britain to send her to Watford. I haven’t heard much from Agatha. So, our little one is secluded. Both Baz and I decided that due to her magic level, it is for the best. She doesn’t seem too put off by it.

I don’t worry about her much, except for the first time she goes off. Baz and I are about to go to bed when we hear screaming. I know that smell anywhere. I rush to her room to see the familiar sight of golden magic floating around. She is crying. I pull her into my arms, kissing her head.

“I’m scared, Papa.”

“It will be okay.” I say, squeezing her tightly.

“If you squeeze her anymore, she’ll pop.” I give Baz a look. He sits down on the bed next to us. Ophelia breaks out of my arms, going over to Baz. Ophelia doesn’t like one of more than the other, but there are certain situations that I know she prefers Baz over me in. For example, when she is sad. Baz just has this calming energy about him.

"It's okay, little puff, you'll be alright." He says. We all sleep in her small bed, making sure she doesn’t go off the rest of the night. In the morning, Baz makes pancakes.

We wait patiently for her Watford acceptance even though Baz says that it’s impossible for her to not get in. But I keep up the act of anticipation just so Ophelia doesn’t think she got in for solely being the headmaster’s granddaughter, but for being incredibly smart and powerful. It does come and Ophelia jumps for joy. I can’t believe she is growing up.

After I had her, I thought I would live to see her grow up. I felt so sick throughout the pregnancy and for days after her birth. The doctors didn’t know if I would live or die. But after about a week, I got better. Baz was so relieved. He wouldn’t stop sending healing spells my way. Now, every night I make sure to tell Baz how happy I am that we have her and that I can see her grow up. I don’t think either of us could be happier. I love my little family so much.

I think I get more excited about Ophelia going to Watford than Ophelia. I just can’t wait for her to experience the best place on Earth. The place where she will learn, make friends, maybe find love, but most of all, find who she is. I can’t wait to see her foster her magical ability into something amazing. I tell her all this as we drive into the gates. She looks at me like I’m bananas. She’ll understand soon.

**Agatha**

It’s weird to be back at Watford; to see people I grew up with now with small children with them. It’s also weird to see Simon and Baz and Penny and Micah. It’s weird to know I’ll stand out from them. I’ll stand out from a lot of the families because I have no partner. It’s my choice really, some one-night stand knocked me up, and I decided I would raise him by myself. If that guy wasn’t a mage, I wouldn’t be here. I can’t tell if I want to be here or not, but Finn wants to be here.

I see Simon and Baz before anyone else. They have a little girl, I remember Simon sending me pictures of her when she was little. They look so happy. I go over to them and quickly introduce Finn to them.

“Hi, I’m Ophelia.” Their little girl says. She’s very pretty with dark hair in braids, freckles lining her face, olive skin, and bluey-gray eyes. Finn starts asking her some questions and she answers them. Penny and Micah find us after not too long. Their twins are in the middle of tiff by the looks of it. They have one girl and one boy.

“Watford Wizards back at it again.” Penny says, coming up to us. “Hello Ophelia. Hello Finn. Nice to see you both. How have you all been?”

“Good. Thanks.” I say.

“You never text me anymore. You can’t just do that.” Penny says. I roll my eyes.

“Sorry.”

“Are you still living in America?” Baz asks. I nod.

“Yeah, I’m heading back tomorrow.”

“Do you have anyone?” Simon asks.

“No, it’s just me and Finn.” Simon gives me sad eyes. “Don’t give me that look Snow. I wanted this. “Enough about me, what about you? Where are you two living?”

“We have a flat in London, however we are thinking of moving soon. We want somewhere where they allow dogs.”

“We’re getting a dog?” Ophelia asks, excitingly.

“Can we get a dog, mum?” Finn asks.

Simon’s “We might be” overlaps my “I don’t think so.” Finn frowns at me.

“Are you still in America?” I asked Penny.

“We just moved here last year. You would know that if you read my texts.”

“Jeez, sorry.” I can see Finn get antsy and no matter how close I used to be with these people, it just seems a bit awkward now. “I’m going to go and show Finn where the picnic is. I’ll see you guys soon.” I say, grabbing Finn and walk him towards the courtyard.

“Mom, are you going to miss me?” He asks.

“Yes.”

“Then why am I here?”

“Because you are a mage. Mages go to Watford. I’m going to miss you like crazy, but it will be good. You’ll love it here.”

“How do you know?”

“Everyone loves Watford, even if while you are there it sucks. Trust me.”

“I do.”

“I have to go now, I’ll call you when I get home, okay?”

“I love you.” Finn says.

“I love you too. Have a good school year.”

“I will.”

**Penny**

It’s crazy having the twins home for Christmas plus Baz and Simon’s daughter who didn’t want to have to go to the Pitch Christmas party and Agatha’s son who didn’t want to be left out. We have four hormonal teenagers running around and taking the car out. We barely have enough room and yet no one is complaining. Simon and Baz didn’t want to spend Christmas without their daughter, so we decided to have a mini Christmas party at our house. We invited Agatha, but she never said if she was coming or not.

Simon and Baz get to our house on Christmas Eve baring presents to put under the tree and wearing ugly matching Christmas sweaters. They are disgustingly adorable. They even force Ophelia to get into one that matches theirs.

Halfway through dinner, we get a knock on the door. I’m surprised to see Agatha on the other side. She is wearing a Santa hat. Excitement gathers inside me as I announce to the house that Agatha is here.

After dinner, the kids run off to watch movies in the lounge. Us adults stay in the dining room drinking way too many glasses of wine, chatting about the past few years and where they have taken us and where we think our children will end up as they leave Watford in two years.

We hear Christmas music being aggressively sung from the other room and we join along, loud enough for the children to hear. They soon quiet down and all head upstairs. I think we embarrassed them.

“Isn’t it weird that we are all parents now?” I ask.

“That is how time works, Bunce.” Baz says. “We all grow up, have children, grow old, live life.”

“Yeah.”

“Then we die.” Baz says. Micah shoots Baz a look.

“Shut up.” I say.

“Everything changes.” Agatha says.

“I guess it does.” I say.

“But through everything, we carry on.” Simon says. There is loud laughter booming from upstairs.

“Watford Wizards are all grown up now.” I say. “You know our children call themselves that.” Baz scoffs.

“I can’t believe that disgusting name is being passed through another generation.” Baz says.

“And hopefully many more.” Simon adds.

“Maybe it’s one thing that won’t change.” I say. Wouldn’t that be nice. For one thing to stay the same in this everchanging world. I know it is a crazy thought, but it’s a nice one. For one good thing to stay the same even if it’s just a stupid name we made up when we were eleven. Who am I kidding? Throughout time, even that name will probably change. Maybe one of the descendants of Ophelia will find a better name than Watford Wizards, but it served us a good purpose. It showed that we would ban together through our years of Watford, no matter how crazy life got.

 


End file.
